Sex

Hi everyone haven't been on site in a while. Had radiation and chemo back in 2011 and radiation did a job on my body inside and plus the radiation had melted my penis to my groin so a erection would hurt like hell from what i was told by a urologist up in Colorado after telling me that he gives me a box of cealis. And i have tried to get a erection but nothing just a limp penis. My question is how does a man that used to be able to have intercourse and can't now deal with it and i know sex isn't everything but it's a part of life and it helps relieve stress. 

Hello Hippieonmission.

Thank you for sharing this intimate and difficult situation with us I feel sure that there are many men reading this who will have empathy with you ( me being ine of them) However, My instinct tells me that  there will not be too many folks who will reply with practical solutions to this problem. My own suggestion would be to explore the sites that deal with erectile dysfunction to see if there are any people on there who have had similar problems and managed to over come them. Of course having sex can relieve certain types of stress, but there are many causes of stress and there are equally many approaches to address, cope and manage it. Perhaps your doctor could refer you to a specialist either to help with the basic cause of your problem, or to help with the impact of trying to live with the condition that you are now left with.

Sorry, if this reply does not adequately deal with your question but all chronic conditions have this frustrating element built in. They are chronic and have no known 'cures', otherwise we would not need to ask the questions.

Best wishes

Bill   

Hi I tried all the pills and injections etc but ended up having a three piece inflatable implant. It works a treat. A bit sore after the operation but that soon passes. Good luck with your venture and don't give up. Ali 

Hello my friend. I too tried all the pills, injections and vacuum pumps. Nothing worked. Fresh outta surgery with  prosthesis. Sky's the limit. 

Hippie on Mission--I can totally empathize with your dilemma. Because of medication that I'm on it has also made me unable to have an erection. I agree, it is very frustrating because sex is a meaningful part of life. But I have discovered that there are many other ways to please a woman other than with my penis. And there is something wonderful about being naked next to a woman (skin to skin) that is very satisfying even if you can't achieve an erection. It's true you can't get a physical release but there is emotional intimacy that draws you together. Fortunately, for me I am married. I get great pleasure out of being able to see my wife receive pleasure. It is still a bonding experience. It forces us to be creative and to continue to express our love in other ways than direct intercourse.

Hi Hippie,

I had my prostate removed 18 months ago and had ED for a while. While I couldn't get hard I was still able to orgasm wih stimulation. I have talked to a couple of other guys who have ED and they experience the same thing. Either through manual or oral stimulation they are able to achieve orgasm while being soft.

Have you tried that?

Some usful information from the Canadian Caner Socity. http://www.cancer.ca/~/media/cancer.ca/CW/publications/Sexuality%20and%20cancer/Sexuality-and-cancer-2016-EN.pdf I hope the link works for you. The site would not let me paste the PDF file here. I would like to know if the link works and if you found the booklet useful.

Thank you Mars1954! Sorry, Hippieonmission, but for some of us, intercourse is NOT a mission.  Hippieonmission, a melted penis is, for many women, a PLUS.  Sex is lovely. But a guy's version of "sex" is so completely different from ours.  For many women, if you were to say, "Yes, I want to have sex with you, but I promise I'll keep my penis out of it" they would be putty in your hands.

There is an expression: Men play at love to get sex, women play at sex to get love.

It's actually true. They don't want your dick, they want your fidelity and constant love.

The whole "oh no I can't get an erection" is a guy thing.  Make your girlfriend happy and safe with your complete love and devotion for her and she'll never tell, and then. . . where's the problem?

i`ll give it a guess.......hillary clinton to yoko ono 1969 ??

I have just remembered that I was once treated for ED by my urologist. I honestly forgot. You see, after my lung cancer operation it was a year before I could stand the pain of the strain on my chest and arm. Within that year, my body forgot how to maintain an erection. For years my primary care physician prescribed various pills for me to help out. There came a time ( when I got on Medicare ) when my insurance would no longer pay for the pills. My urologist prescribed this machine for me. I put my penis in this plastic tube while a pump would pull a vacuum in the tube. My penis would become large and erect. I would then slip a large rubber band off the tube onto the base of my penis. That works for many men but it never worked for me.

Then I experienced several consecutive years of bad health, mostly due to accidental injuries but culminating in a ruptured colon last year. I completely put sex out of my mind during those years. Then, this year, my wife let me know she wanted me to start thinking about sex again. We started trying to give each other pleasure whatever way worked. As we relaxed and enjoyed each other, I was astonished one day when I had an erection. We tried and it worked like we were newlyweds again! Everything has been fine since then. It's not an every day thing but I'm 73 instead of 19 so that's ok too.

I would have posted this for the concerned men earlier but I honestly didn't remember it until today. Hope this helps someone.