Well, I did not think this would happen but I am absolutely unable to take any more of the verbal and mental abuse. I gave my spouse the news that I am leaving on June 1st. He literally has had 12 years and 10 months to make things work between us but when only one person is trying, it doesn't fix things very well. Early on in our relationship, he lost all desire for intimacy. He said he just wasn't interested. I begged him to please see the doctor and try to get something done. He did and the doc said it was an easy fix. Just one shot each month but my spouse refused and it has been 11 years with no sex. Things between us just kept going down hill. He had no provisions made if he was to pass away. If he died, I would have to move immediately. He refuses to repair anything around our home but keeps his apartments in tip top shape. The kitchen at our home is in terrible shape. It needs to be gutted and redone but when I voice my opinion about it he yells at me and tells me to fix it myself. But it is not my house!! He constantly gets mad at me if I am on Facebook or on the computer in general and always wants me to help him clean and paint the apartments. If I say no, he gets angry at me. None of it is mine so why should I spend my time working on things I will get no benefit from. I told him I would be happy to help him work on our home but he won't. When he bought his new cabin after our other one burned down in a forest fire in 2012, I helped repaint, pull up old carpet, clean, build a wood shed and cut and stack wood as well as work in the yard and assist with decorating the new cabin only to find out that my name isn't even on the deed!! I was heart sick about it. I couldn't even have rights to it if he passed away. Whenever something breaks down here at our home, he buys the cheapest replacement he can find. I have told him many times to buy midline priced items. Not the cheapest or the most expensive but in the middle. Those products seem to be the best but he won't listen. When we first got married, things went well and he was quitting smoking but that went by the wayside too. I asked him to please smoke in one room or outside and he stays up in his office but refuses to go outside. Now, with my health issues, I can no longer tolerate the smoking. If he comes downstairs and I am watching a show or movie he doesn't like he will change it. If I cook supper and it is something he didn't pick out, he turns up his nose at it and says "I guess you don't like to cook much anymore" but he won't even try it before making a decision. The final straw was a month ago when I was watching my son in law sing at Boston College where he is getting his doctorate. He came downstairs mad at me because I was on the internet where my daughter was streaming the concert. He kept talking and yelling at me and I nicely asked him to wait until intermission and I would talk with him but he kept talking and yelling. Finally I told him he was being very disruptive and he got irate at me and called me a pig. I was speachless!! I had done nothing to cause that! I stayed up all night just crying and praying to God. The words "You're a pig! Just a dirty little pig" kept flowing through my head. I keep this home as clean as I can despite its falling apart. I am a clean person as well but I just felt like no one wanted or loved me. Finally, after months of waiting on God to tell me what I should do, He stated to me, clear as day to move out. He told me to give my spouse one year to pull it together and if he didn't do it by then, I would need to move on. God knows how hard I have tried and worked on this marriage. My spouse has never physically struck me but the mental and verbal abuse and the constant controlling of everything I say and do has been just as painful. Lord knows at 62 years old I am scared to start over but I cannot bear to go through this any longer. I prayed for guidance to find a job and an apartment and God blessed me immediately with both. I was hired as a medical escort to take patients to appointments and also to help with shopping and socialization. I found a great apartment with a garage for my storage and I will move in on the first of June. I can afford it on my retirement and with my part time job. I told him he has a year to get his crap together. He is to also make a new appointment with the counselor we were seeing. I told him I would go if he made the appointments but now he is saying that he will only make the appointments and work on things if I stay and that is something I cannot do because nothing will change. I have to show him that I mean what I say. I am scared but I have to follow God's will for me.
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