MeetAnOstoMate
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EdieAngel
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I have a colostomy, going about two years out now, and I hate it as much now if NOT MORE than I did at the beginning of this nightmare! What do I expect from this site? I don't know if I expect anything. I was surfing and researching to see if there was someone else out there that was maybe like me. And to my surprise I came across "I Hate My Stoma", and I started reading other people's stories. Update: I had my first colostomy 3 years, and absolutely despised it the whole time. I developed a hernia, and when it started growing, I went to my surgeon, but she said she wouldn't do anything, cause surgery wasn't an option due to my health issues. as months went by it grew and grew. till I looked like I was eight months pregnant! I hated it as much as the colostomy. I even had ignorant people tease me. of course, I knew I looked funny, a 68-year-old pregnant-looking old lady. I called it my alien.
I finally decided to do research for another surgeon for a second opinion. well for the first time in a long time God listened to my prays. he led me to a wonderful rectal surgeon specialist. after he looked at all my medical records, he explained that there didn't need to be a colostomy in the first place. he said he could help me if I choose. he gave me several options and the pros and cons of each including the risks. even though I wanted one way, which was to get it done all in one surgery, I picked another option with fewer risks to me. this option was to go in and fix the alien (hernia), close up the ostomy, and put in a temporary ileostomy that would have to stay in for at least 10 weeks or a while longer depending on healing. I hated that one too as much as I did the colostomy, but I held on to the "it's only temporary" to keep me going. It came time for my dream to come true, reversal surgery day. It was done with no complications, for the first time in three and a half years, I was normal again. I was ecstatic! I was going like normal people again, I was wearing stylish, not oversize, or pregnant clothes, I was not waking up with poop all over me, and I didn't have to worry about those disgusting bags, exploding, leaking, or just not sticking right. I was not deformed, I was truly happy!
Well, sadly that was only for 8 months. 3 weeks ago I went to the bathroom like normal every morning and I started having a bowel movement, a little came out, and then I got the worse physical pain that I ever felt. I stayed on the toilet to finish the bowel movement but no more came out but the pain was still there. I continued to sit for a little longer hoping it would ease up. After a while, it felt like my stomach was getting bigger and fuller, and hurting so badly. I had hubby help me to bed in hopes that it would ease up, but after several hours passed and it just seemed to be getting worse. I almost felt like life was leaving me, so I told hubby we better go to the ER. I had no idea what was wrong, but if I knew then what I know now, I would have never gone! after a cat scan, they told me I had a perforated bowel, and if I had waited too much longer to come in I would be dead, and that they were rushing me up to Missouri ( I live in Arkansas) to my surgeon. I was not concerned, my surgeon would take care of me. They rushed me right into surgery. When I woke up, I found out that my worst nightmare has come back to attack me, I had a colostomy and this time it was permanent! I was crushed and hated my surgeon, how could he do this knowing how I felt? But he said that I had several perforated holes, something that he had never seen before, and there was nothing left of my intestines to save. He said he and his assistant spent 5 hours trying to clean my stomach out of all the poison that was in my stomach. He said when he and the assistant saw that they could not save enough so they could hook me back up, they both shook their heads cause they knew how I felt about having a colostomy. I told him that he should have let me die on the table! So now once again I am living in hell and don't know how to climb out. I hate when people tell me that there are millions of people that live perfectly normal, well-adjusted, happy lives! I scream at them, that is great for them, but I AM NOT them. People suggest counseling. I tried that before, and that didn't help either, It didn't change anything, I still lived with everything I hated. I don't know truthfully why I joined here, but here I am.
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