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Some people got a severe case of the uglies

Posted by collie123, on Thu Jul 09, 2020 5:34 pm

I am not sure what was the specific point of your post but I would rather you kept your political views to yourself.

From a black woman in London.

BA, MA,DipEd Tech, Dip Info, Dip.Ed. MCILIP.

 

 

Reply by iMacG5, on Fri Jul 10, 2020 5:44 pm

Hello Collie123. I apologize for any discomfort you might have felt from our discussion. Being a part of the whole thing, I feel complicit.
I think we all have some political views and I’m interested to know which of those might have been offensive to you.
I guess you at least learned a web site to avoid.
Respectfully,
Mike

Reply by collie123, on Sat Jul 11, 2020 11:40 am

Dear Mike,

thank you for the acknowlegement of my uncomfortableness.

Whether you are black or white, young or old everyone has the capacity to be rude or not.

I think my offence stemmed from the premise of the father was black. He had XXX amount of chiildren...and therfeore we should not bred.

I am of the belief that there are three sides to any story; one side, the other side and the facts rolling down the middle.

I think in this climate of Black Lives Matter....which is a plea to be treated as an equal; nothing more or less: I found the posting offence.

In a climate of Black people dying x4 their white counterpart; I found the posting a form of abuse; is she crazy?

Life is all about politics BUT some views are offensive by their tone and content.  Was she speaking from a postion of white privilege that 'me and mine' should know their place?

I seldom post my qualifications.............it was ineffect a two fingers gesture...and not a peace sign either!

Thank you for reaching out.

Much appreciated.

I hope you and yours are well

C

From London

 

Reply by Padfoot, on Sat Jul 11, 2020 1:04 pm
collie123 wrote:

Dear Mike,

thank you for the acknowlegement of my uncomfortableness.

Whether you are black or white, young or old everyone has the capacity to be rude or not.

I think my offence stemmed from the premise of the father was black. He had XXX amount of chiildren...and therfeore we should not bred.

I am of the belief that there are three sides to any story; one side, the other side and the facts rolling down the middle.

I think in this climate of Black Lives Matter....which is a plea to be treated as an equal; nothing more or less: I found the posting offence.

In a climate of Black people dying x4 their white counterpart; I found the posting a form of abuse; is she crazy?

Life is all about politics BUT some views are offensive by their tone and content.  Was she speaking from a postion of white privilege that 'me and mine' should know their place?

I seldom post my qualifications.............it was ineffect a two fingers gesture...and not a peace sign either!

Thank you for reaching out.

Much appreciated.

I hope you and yours are well

C

From London

 

Collie,

Thank you for being so frank. I also was a part of this conversation. Your comments illustrate how important it is to consider how much language matters. This is a good lesson for all of us. Everyone should feel safe contributing, and reading comments on this site. Collie, I hope you will continue to contribute your thoughts; I look forward to hearing from you. You have already made us think.

 

Laurie

Reply by collie123, on Sat Jul 11, 2020 1:35 pm

Dear Laurie,

I really appreciate your response.

The world is changing in ways we have all yet to understand.

I have had my ursotomy for 4 years and I am still coming to terms with the changes to my body and how I deal with 'Enigma'; I never know what she is going to do!

I have always found the site to be useful and exceptionally supportive; so I was really taken aback by a post which was hardly subtle in its implied 'racist tones' / assumptions; why else would you mention the colour of the father and then label an entire race. I am black. I am 61.  I find that in my twilight years- I draw the line at offensive remarks. My husband was white and we had 34 wonderful years together. I have taught and continue to do so. I am retraining as a counsellor. One thing I have learnt  is that words matter. Words can damage.  Words make a difference. That is my rant over!

I welcome political dialogue but I will always call out language and behaviour that I believe to be unacceptable.

I hope wherever in the world you are that 'you and yours' are well- as we say in London.

I have been very quiet in the last 4 years but the orginal post -drove me to say something - since my silence would have conveyed acceptance and that is not the case!

Kind regards

C

From London, UK.

Reply by Padfoot, on Sat Jul 11, 2020 3:52 pm
collie123 wrote:

Dear Laurie,

I really appreciate your response.

The world is changing in ways we have all yet to understand.

I have had my ursotomy for 4 years and I am still coming to terms with the changes to my body and how I deal with 'Enigma'; I never know what she is going to do!

I have always found the site to be useful and exceptionally supportive; so I was really taken aback by a post which was hardly subtle in its implied 'racist tones' / assumptions; why else would you mention the colour of the father and then label an entire race. I am black. I am 61.  I find that in my twilight years- I draw the line at offensive remarks. My husband was white and we had 34 wonderful years together. I have taught and continue to do so. I am retraining as a counsellor. One thing I have learnt  is that words matter. Words can damage.  Words make a difference. That is my rant over!

I welcome political dialogue but I will always call out language and behaviour that I believe to be unacceptable.

I hope wherever in the world you are that 'you and yours' are well- as we say in London.

I have been very quiet in the last 4 years but the orginal post -drove me to say something - since my silence would have conveyed acceptance and that is not the case!

Kind regards

C

From London, UK.

Collie,

I am from another London on the Thames - in Ontario, Canada. Alike in name only, I can assure you!

 I am glad you responded, and glad to hear that you intend to make your voice heard, although I am dismayed that you consider 61 to be your "twilight years"! I am 63 and am nowhere near my twilight! However, I understand, and agree with what I think your point is - that as we age, we are increasingly less likely to remain quiet when we feel the conversation would benefit from hearing our position. Having lived through a lot, that is our prerogative.

However, I have not reached an age (and hope I never do) at which I can say that I have nothing left to learn. The older I get, the more I realize how little I knew when I thought I knew it all. Age confers humility, if one is lucky enough to realize it. So, I have things to learn from you, and I invite you to seize upon any teachable moment you spot in anything I say, or omit saying. 

I am guessing, but I think that the majority on this site have either an ileostomy or colostomy. Most of the comments I see are related to one or the other, so someone with urostomy experience is a valuable asset on this site. Four years of living with one is a world of experience to someone who just woke up with one. I am sure your experience would be so helpful to many who are struggling - I hope you will make your voice heard in that way too. We are, all of us, human beings trying to make sense of the hand we are dealt.

 

 I hope you and yours are well - we say that in this London too. I hope to read your comments - on anything - very soon. Take good care.

 

Laurie

Reply by iMacG5, on Sun Jul 12, 2020 12:26 pm

So Collie, I must emphasize the respect I have for your perception of these writings and expressing to us your feelings. Though I might attempt to empathize I will never feel just as you do. For starters I’m a guy and you’re a lady; you’re black and I’m white. You’re educated in the social sciences and I in the physical sciences and math. We may, however, have more in common than what’s obvious. I hope I’m compassionate as I think you are, wise from having lived and payed attention to the world around us and recognizing the blessing of good people in our lives. These folks here are the best and I’ve learned so much from them; way beyond ostomy stuff. Hopefully, one day this virus will be a distant memory. Hopefully we’ll realize we can make this a better planet and we’ll understand we need to sacrifice some to get us to where we should be. I’m not certain as to where that place is but I strongly believe it begins with accepting others as we accept ourselves and helping others who might welcome without asking for our help. I really don’t think it's a contest but it helps if we can try to be the best we can.
I wish you and yours well also,
Mike

Reply by collie123, on Sun Jul 12, 2020 2:21 pm
iMacG5 wrote:

So Collie, I must emphasize the respect I have for your perception of these writings and expressing to us your feelings. Though I might attempt to empathize I will never feel just as you do. For starters I’m a guy and you’re a lady; you’re black and I’m white. You’re educated in the social sciences and I in the physical sciences and math. We may, however, have more in common than what’s obvious. I hope I’m compassionate as I think you are, wise from having lived and payed attention to the world around us and recognizing the blessing of good people in our lives. These folks here are the best and I’ve learned so much from them; way beyond ostomy stuff. Hopefully, one day this virus will be a distant memory. Hopefully we’ll realize we can make this a better planet and we’ll understand we need to sacrifice some to get us to where we should be. I’m not certain as to where that place is but I strongly believe it begins with accepting others as we accept ourselves and helping others who might welcome without asking for our help. I really don’t think it's a contest but it helps if we can try to be the best we can.
I wish you and yours well also,
Mike


Hello Mike,

I think we are in complete agreement.

Have a good day!

C

Reply by iMacG5, on Mon Jul 13, 2020 3:00 pm

So Karen, this is the first time I disagreed with you but I must. The written description of your experience and the feelings it caused was, as usual. very well done. You cannot be responsible for anyone feeling offended by your narrative. We sometimes read or hear stuff we don’t like but it is what it is and our interpretaion can take us all over the place. IMHO there's nothing for you to apologize for.  I’m glad I saved your original post and look forward to more of your contributions.
Sincerely,
Mike



Last edited by iMacG5 on Mon Jul 13, 2020 5:22 pm; edited 1 time in total
Reply by collie123, on Mon Jul 13, 2020 4:46 pm

Dear All,

it might not be my place to say this ........but I think it is time to draw a line under this discussion; enuf said.

Lots of awful news coming out all over the world around COVID 19; the numbers infected in the states, California especially is simply scary.

Stay safe all.

C

Reply by Padfoot, on Mon Jul 13, 2020 4:53 pm
collie123 wrote:

Dear All,

it might not be my place to say this ........but I think it is time to draw a line under this discussion; enuf said.

Lots of awful news coming out all over the world around COVID 19; the numbers infected in the states, California especially is simply scary.

Stay safe all.

C


Collie, you have taken the high road. 

Laurie

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