So....What's the Answer?

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veejay

How do we get more of the alleged 22,000 plus "world-wide" members of the Altered Plumbing Society to become more involved in this site?

We have Henry with his daily memories. All good reading....many of us can relate, but good old Henry doesn't seem to receive many replies?

We have the English poet Bill Withers who seems to have a rhyme/poem for just about any topic. (Please don't be offended Bill).

Then there is the usual suspects who post comments/observations/opinions/questions but it seems to be the same ones?

New members join and post their "arrival" but then seem to disappear. Why is that?

Recently a member offered a "new car" as a prize for those who responded to his questionnaire regarding how many times they visited this site.

Of course there never was any "new car" but it was an interesting exercise.

Once again, one would have thought out of 22,000 members world-wide, he would have received more replies.

Are we being left behind by other social media platforms?

Do we need a "meetanostomate influencer" or two?

Does the site need to be reinvigorated?

So folks, is it all about apathy? Or are members just too busy?

I suspect the former.

"There comes a point where you no longer care if there is light at the end of the tunnel or not.
You're just sick of the tunnel"

So......what is the answer?

Feel free to reply....all 22,000+ of you!

Keep well.

V.J.

Gray Logo for MeetAnOstoMate

Why Join MeetAnOstoMate?

First off, this is a pretty cool site with 33,095 members. Get inside and you will see.

We're not all about ostomy. Everything is being discussed in the forums.

It's a very special community, embracing all ages and backgrounds. People are honest and truly care.

Privacy is very important - the website has many features that are only visible to members.

Create an account and you will be amazed.

Lily17

Good Evening, V.J.

I believe that there is no one "right" answer to your question(s). No matter the platform, people will utilize the tech with which they are familiar, or that which they are willing to become familiar.

Ultimately, people have different life circumstances and priorities, and exercise their free will and free choice when and how they...choose.

Thank you for posing such thought-provoking questions and comments. : )

Lily17 aka, No Apathy, Here: )

Gray Logo for MeetAnOstoMate
xnine

I have offered free pie in the chat room with no takers.

Lily17

Nine, you've also generously offered cookies!

If I missed out on huckleberry pie, I have no one to blame but myself? nbsp; : (

Lily17

w30bob

HEEEEEEEY........what do you mean there's no free car???Oh man, really??? Crap.

V........there are probably a lot of reasons why "members" don't actively participate. The best way to answer your question is to ask yourself why YOU don't spend more time on here or generate more Topics for discussion. Then just expand your reasons to everyone else. Here are a few that come to mind for me

When I first got my unexpected ostomy I felt a bit like a disfigured monster who would never be able to have a normal life. But as time has progressed, and with the help of this site, I've come to realize that my life going forward IS NOT centered around my new ass-abs, and I can live a pretty normal life, with just a few ostomy related hiccups along the way. So my dependency on this site has lessened, and will most likely continue to do so. When we first get an ostomy it occupies a large part of our psyche. For some it always will. But for others it's just a speed bump on the road of life, and just isn't a top priority anymore. Living their life is.

Some ostomates have bigger problems (medical or physical) that overshadow their ostomy. Maybe that wasn't the case when they joined this site, and maybe now in the grand scheme of things shitting into a plastic bag taped to their hip isn't where their attention needs to be right now.

How many members over the years have had a reversal and no longer have a dog in this fight? Or just plain died?

I could go on, but I'm sure you get the point. When you step back the reality is there really isn't THAT much to talk about when it comes to ostomies. What questions haven't been asked at least a few times in the past on here? It's nice to meet folks, but as a dating site it's flawed because of the small number of ostomates and simply having a common medical condition is hardly a good enough reason to fall in love with someone......although I guess it does happen.

Bottom line is it is what it is.....take it or leave it. It's not going to change, and if a few of the top contributors decide to move on or participate less (and new members don't pick up the slack)....there's going to be even less activity on this site. Time will tell.

;0)

Regards,

Bob

 
Words of Encouragement from Ostomy Advocates I Hollister
HenryM

Bob said something that stands out for me:  "...the reality is there really isn't THAT much to talk about when it comes to ostomies."  Besides, if our goal is to live our lives as "normally" as possible (whatever that means), then focusing on the belly thing too much is counter-productive.  That is why I feel free to post about whatever subject comes to mind and hope that people enjoy reading it.  If this is a "social" site, then let's treat it like one.  Today, for instance, I touched upon a "political" topic, which I know some people dislike but, fact is, it's not only a part of our lives but, of late, a dramatically significant part.  So I will go there occasionally.  As for the lack of participation which you bemoan, I am curious about that too, but Lily and Bob both hit on decent explanations.  I have attempted to communicate with a number of folks and received no response at all.

ron in mich

Hi all i,m suprised there isnt more activity also considering that people are more likely confined due to fear of covid and just being inside more now that winter is here, but i,ve been a member a long time and i,ve seen it ebb and flow, same with the uoaa site that i belong to.

Past Member

You can't, you see at times a block of people joining from 1 country the site gets mentioned on social media sites by people as a free ostomy dating site so they all rush over here and join just hoping someone will message them for a date, there not intrested in comenting or posting themsleves they just go back to there social media sites...it's the way of the world now a well known social media site has killed most internet groups of I've been a member here for more years than I care to remember lol back in the day it was a very busy active site but now I'm surpprised it's still going I know the site's not here to make money but with the few people that pay to become full members I would think it runs at a loss and it's just the good will of site owners that keeps it going....you would be surprised if you look on social media the amount they talk about ostomys and bowels most of it very hard to believe lol thats why I like this site it's more "REAL"

kmedup

This is my one and only experience with an online forum - never even had Facebook - so I have no comparisons. Too much on my plate, I guess.

As well, there are and maybe other reasons, I believe:
** The demeanor of people has changed since I joined in 2010, especially in the last several years. Posting can be stressful for some; how many fires do we need to put out in one day.
** I know of a person from the UK who joined way back in 2011 and has not visited this site since about 2015 so some folks join but don't partake often or ever and don't close their account.
** I also know of two dear ostomates who used to be on this site and although they are now deceased their account is still active.
** Maybe over 20,000 ... is a marketing strategy.

Along with this dratted pandemic, people are suffering from unstable world politics, too much Netflix, online platforms that spew falsities, climate disasters, quarantine rage, and loss of faith in truth and trust. Combine all of that with the loss of livelihood, scant live entertainment venues, home-schooling, increasing medical costs and other money problems - anxiety, anger and apathy rear their ugly heads. So, 2020 might just be a year to write off, as far as the MaO site is concerned. No expectations, no disappointment and sometimes, I expect too much.

Kudos to the regular risk-taking posters because without them, this site would not be hellip; whether one appreciates what they write or not. You are keeping the bar up, otherwise "us others" may just keep tripping on it.

Aside from alternate plumbing conditions, we have different views, tastes and interests. Personally, dwelling on my condition too much can make me into a pity-party-peep so I prefer the lsquolet's talk' forums.

 width= nbsp; Different stokes for different folks! BTW, I attended a zoom yoga laughter party today - what a hoot! I recommend highly. Now I am on the hunt for a kazoo for an upcoming kazoo party. I have to learn the "Log Driver's Waltz" for Tuesday. No pressure - eh! nbsp; Just, K nbsp; nbsp; nbsp

original Canadian vignette https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upsZZ2s3xv8 nbsp; nbsp

Lily17

2020: nbsp; The Year That Wasn't.

Lily17

dadnabbit


Hey Henry---VERY ASTUTE. nbsp; Censorship tends to breed a lack of participation. nbsp; Too many feelings were getting hurt, too many folks took things far too personally. AND, when someone did post something that another disagreed with, the responses and the retorts were down right rude. nbsp; NOT intelligent conversation but rather ignorant name calling and a refusal to DISCUSS anything other than one singular point of view. nbsp; So, why bother ? nbsp; As you so wisely said, nbsp; our lives will go on and mine is NOT solely about ostomies. nbsp; If honest open discourse is stifled, there will eventually be NO discourse at all. nbsp; nbsp

PEACE

Nancy

Bill

Hello veejay.
Thanks for your post and I am not offended but flattered that you mention me as a regular contributor.
It is pleasing to see that you are receiving quite a few relevant replies to this question as it has come up on previous posts.
However, it rarely crosses my mind to worry about who is or who is not communicating overtly on here. I sometimes ponder on the number of people who ‘view’ a post without any comment at all.
These people are participating in an observing way and are possibly getting something positive from their observations.
As for my own contributions, the astute observer will have realised that I have rarely initiated a conversational post on the forums, yet I’m quite willing to pitch in with (hopefully relevant) comments and support for those who do. Most of my original contributions are by way of ‘blogs’ – this is so that I can keep track of things I’ve posted in a much more effective way than trying to troll back on forum posts.
Also, writing rhyming verse tends to be a solitary activity, which happens with poets, whether or not others are likely to respond. Of course, it is always satisfying to have some feedback, but this is not essential for the activity to continue.
Occasionally, someone posts something on here that stimulates a rhyming response. These inspiring posts are especially useful for churning out yet another rhyme. However, most of the MAO posts are inspiring for so many other reasons and so, quite often, I find myself as a passive observer, alongside all those others who are just acknowledged as just a number who have deemed to have read the posts.
In my extensive studies of ‘constructive conversations’ I concluded that people’s primary conversations are with (and for) themselves. This is a characteristic of conversation that people tend to overlook when other people are responding to their very personal activity. With this in mind, I do not find it at all disconcerting that these types of conversational sites tend to ebb and flow in terms of participation.
As with any ‘group’ activity, it is incumbent on those who feel they are part of the active membership to welcome newcomers, make them feel at home and to encourage them to take a more active role in future communication. There are several members who are quite good at this welcoming role and deserve a special mention for their valuable contribution to the site’s continued vitality.
I would give out a positive mention to those who share jokes and other humour. These contributions do not attract vast numbers of responses – but they are often read by many and probably appreciated for the lifting of one’s spirits.
Also, we should be grateful to those who share their tastes in music, the arts, philosophy, and many other things, that might otherwise pass us by, if it were not for the fact that they are brought to our attention via MAO communication.
Best wishes
Bill

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