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Ostomy Memories of Acme Redux

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Thu Jun 10, 2021 3:22 am

ON TUESDAY, I posted about encountering some Acme barricades, a reminder of the tenacious and ongoing efforts of the cartoon coyote to snare the uncatchable roadrunner. The next day I noticed a 1-800 phone number just below where it said ACME, so when I got home, I called it.
“Hello, Acme,” said a professional male voice.
“Yes, I’m interested in Acme products. Do you sell to the general public, or just the State and County?”
“We sell only through State contract,” the Acme man said. “We got the contract from Gov. DeSantis after donating a lot of money to his campaign.”
“How many different products do you provide to the government?” I queried.
“We have orange barricades, orange street barriers, orange traffic cones, and orange plastic stretch fencing material.”
“You seem to be wedded to the color orange,” I pointed out.
“Well, we’re Republicans,” he told me. “We’re making America orange again.” He chuckled.
“I must say,” I mentioned, “I had to move a couple of your small barriers yesterday that had fallen over into the street, and now, today, I’ve developed a skin rash on my face.”
“Oh, that can’t have been our equipment,” he protested. “They must have come from our competitor, Acne Products. You can see how people would get us confused.” And then he startled me by, somewhat accusingly, asking me my name.
“Wiley Coyote,” I said, and hung up.

Sun Jun 13, 2021 3:53 am

Omg! 🤣🤣🤣. 

Needed that! LAUGH.

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