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You Might Be A Redneck- Round Two

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Sat Jun 26, 2021 4:35 am

A few of you commented that you would like to see some more of the "You Might Be A Redneck" (YMBAR) jokes. For those that missed the first round, this is my take on furthering the Jeff Foxworthy routine. As far as I know, these have mostly been born from the deep recesses of my mind. Oh well, hope you get a good laugh, a hearty guffaw, or even a mild chuckle out of these. 

1.   If the manager at The Golden Corral's "all you can eat buffet" faints whenever your family walks in..............YMBAR

2.   If your home fire alarm system is a pan of Jiffy Pop hanging on the wall.............YMBAR

3.   If your traveling luggage is an igloo cooler secured with duct tape and plastered with advertising stickers for NASCAR, beer, and chewing tobacco.............YMBAR

4.   If you can recite the entire Sonic Drive-In menu forward and backward without a mistake............YMBAR

5.   If you thinks it's hilarious to show your buddies how you taught your two year old son to say "shit"..............YMBAR

6.   If you have more than 3 "talking fish" on your walls that are set to sing "Take Me To The River" whenever you walk by them..............YMBAR

7.   If your mother-in-law goes to Piggly Wiggly with her hair in curlers, wearing a housecoat and slippers, and pushes a shopping cart while coughing and smoking an unfiltered Camel..............YMBAR

8.   If your Uncle Dub lost what was left of his teeth because he was showing off by holding two lit Black Cat firecrackers in his mouth.............YMBAR

9.   If you accidentally burned down your trailer home while engaging in a Roman candle war with the neighbors on the 4th of July.................YMBAR

10. If your deluxe home audio system is centered around an 8-track tape player................YMBAR

11. If you think the Cold War was only fought in wintertime....................YMBAR

12. If your idea of goin' shoppin' is cruising the beer aisle at the local Git-N-Go...............YMBAR

13. If Billy Bob Thornton studied your cousin so that he could accurately portray the character of Carl Childers in the movie "Sling Blade"................YMBAR

14. If your high school principal was 3 years younger than you................YMBAR

15. If you live just outside of Hawgfahrt, Arkansas.................YMBAR



Last edited by fdcaptain971 on Sun Jun 27, 2021 1:11 pm; edited 1 time in total
Sat Jun 26, 2021 10:59 am

You have done it again Cap. These were really good.

Sat Jun 26, 2021 11:48 am

I've got to say cousin Cap these are great! YMBAR! 😄

Sat Jun 26, 2021 2:36 pm

 

  Morning glory wrote:  

You have done it again Cap. These were really good.

 



Thank you!

Sat Jun 26, 2021 2:37 pm

 

  Mtnman wrote:  

I've got to say cousin Cap these are great! YMBAR! 😄

 



Thank you cousin!

Sun Jun 27, 2021 1:02 pm

Hahaha! Thanks for the chuckle! Awesome! 
Pup

Sun Jun 27, 2021 1:08 pm

 

  Puppyluv56 wrote:  

Hahaha! Thanks for the chuckle! Awesome!  Pup

 



You're welcome!

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