Good morning
I am new to this site but would like to sound out opinions; a non-ostomy person I know has asked me twice to upload a photo of mine before I get reconnected (estimated Nov this year). Personally, I am quite uncomfortable with this request, and apart from medical reasons for medical people, I think this is a bit of an odd request. What do you think?
Hello Kathryn.
It is difficult to second-guess why a person might make such a request. However, If you are at all uncomfortable with it, then do not comply. There are thousands of photos of stomas on the internet (and many on this site) that someone could look up if they were at all interested in the subject. Your body is your business and, this someone would need to have (and explain) their reasons for such a request in detail, to be convincing that it was not for some malevolent reason or simply for their own gratification. I would tend to consider this request with great caution and tentatively categorise it as a diguised attempt at a wierd perverted porn request, which, at some time in the future, you might well regret if you complied with the request.
Having spent a lifetime dealing with Machiavellian and malevolent people, this is just my own, somewhat biased take, so I hope others will chip in with opinions on this subject.
Best wishes
Bill
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Bag on or bag off? It would be the same as sending a pic of your bum. Explain that it is still your private part and not for public display.
I wasn't; I was just thinking it was a bizarre request. That's all... and I was wondering what the general consensus was, seeing as I have only had my ostomy since last October.
Wow, that is really strange. I wouldn't like that at all... I agree with others that it's our private part. I have no problem with showing mine to someone in a medical situation, but not for curiosity's sake. Tell them to Google if they are that curious.
You feel uncomfortable about it, so don't do it. Never let anyone force you into doing something.
I've had my ileo for over 30 years. I have had friends in real life over the years, mostly in the beginning, ask if they can see my bag. I gave some a quick flash, lol. I can see where they're coming from; being non-ostomy people, I think they see us as having something the size of a bin bag stuck to our stomach and are quite surprised when they see the bag is only the size of our hands. But things have moved on since I had my ostomy; they can just use Google now if they want to see what they look like.
Hi Kathryn,
I think we tend to think the worst when we hear a question like yours, as our world is just chock-full of bad shit......no pun intended. I'm stepping back a bit and giving your question a wider berth. When you say "a non-ostomy someone," I'm not sure what you mean. Is this someone you are thinking of having a relationship with.........a co-worker.....a total stranger...........distant family..........someone you asked for advice..........a good friend........a not-so-good friend.......someone you met on Facebook.........who exactly is this person?? How you answer that could take this discussion in a number of ways. How did this person find out you have an ostomy in the first place?
So rather than give you advice on something I don't know the details to.........I'll just hold off until there's more info available. Not trying to be an ass, just don't want to jump to any conclusions about someone without knowing a little bit more about the situation. After all......this non-ostomy person may be a total jackwad........or just might be trying to help you.......and I don't know which. It's just not obvious from your short message why this person has an interest in your ostomy.
Regards,
Bob
Thank you. It is all relatively new for me, but I did find that request most out of order.
Hello Bob... no, not someone I intend to have a relationship with; just someone I reconnected with as a friend from school days who was very supportive when going through the trauma of two emergency operations. But after that request (he asked me earlier once, too), I have not replied as I am not happy. I agree that all the information he should ever require is out there on the internet; in fact, thinking back, he sent me a really informative podcast about having an ileostomy. Regards, K
Odd and intrusive, to say the least. Avoid this until you know a great deal more.
Ask hime to send apic of his pee shooter. what an ass. he thinks just because he helped you he's entitled to a peek? not a friend of mine, no. i would just block him if he persists. no one should see that thing other than medical people. pictures all over google. he is a sick puppy. bad puppy. bad. warrior.