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Ostomy Memories of a Nose Job

Sun Oct 31, 2021 2:24 am
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ARTHUR PROBOSCIS HAD A BAD WEEK. First, Wendy Hotty had turned down his offer to take her to the Xmas dance, then his art teacher, who was also director of the Senior Class play, told him he’d be perfect for the role of Cyrano de Bergerac. To make matters even worse, he found out that Wendy was going to the dance with Deke Dubois, the class jerk or, as Arthur preferred to describe him, an outwardly attractive asshole. That did it. During the summer, before heading off to college, Arthur got a nose job. It was an unpleasant experience, but he was more than pleased with the end result. I’m even better looking than Deke, he told himself, and then, one Saturday that August, he spotted Wendy at the mall. He decided to make a test run. He approached and engaged her in casual conversation. He could tell from her expression and reaction that she kind of recognized him but wasn’t too sure. He turned on the charm, showed her the book of poetry that he’d just bought, and marveled anew at how dreamy her pale brown eyes were up close. But it was all for naught. Oh, Wendy didn’t put him off. Arthur had finally shattered his own fantasy as, in those few minutes, he had discovered that Wendy Hotty had bad breath and really hated poetry.

These are the top 5 issues ostomates face:

1. Dating and relationships
2. Concealing the pouch
3. Foods to eat and avoid
4. Losing or gaining weight
5. Pouch ballooning

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Sun Oct 31, 2021 3:20 am

Hello HenryM.
It is a sad fact that from some people’s perception, physical appearances seem to count for more than ‘personality’.
Your story reminds me of when I was in my teenage years and (even then) people used to share their problems with me.
There was one female who was having body-image issues because she was over 6 feet tall and my friend (who was a similar height) would not go out with her.
I was never short on ‘theories’, and explained that I believed that when people were dating, the ones who had already got partners were much more likely to attract others than those who were always on their own. It was as if it was the isolation that was the off-putting factor and some people would not want to be ‘the first’ to try out something/someone who had not been tried and tested by someone else. ( What I called the ‘sheep’ principle – where once one sheep takes the lead – all the other’s follow without much thought!)
I suggested that she could ‘hang-out’ with me for a few times; have a good time, which would enable me to (subtly) report back, that she was a ‘great person to have around’.
The fact that other people took the Mickey out of us for being the ‘odd’ couple, ‘tall & short’ etc, didn’t bother me at all and that very fact enabled me to openly counter with quips that she more than made up for her height with her personality and charm. I was proud to have her as my companion and it was not long before others began to perceive her in a similar way.
My tall-male-friend became interested, and within 3 weeks he was asking me if I would mind if he approached her for a date. I agreed on the condition that we could all remain friends, as I would miss her company if she was to be dating him.
Of course It pleases me no-end when a ‘theory’ is put to practical use and proves to be sound, if only for one example.
The longer-term outcome was interesting, in that this young lady later confided in me that, whilst my male mate was good looking and the ‘right size’ for her, he lacked the sort of personality she was looking for, so she thanked me for the learning experience and decided that her search for a partner had been based on the wrong parameters.
There must be a moral in there somewhere!
Best wishes

Sun Oct 31, 2021 9:12 am

Hi guys Bill your story reminds me of my younger days when old enough to go in a bar we had a local place with pool table and foosball table and good music on the juke box and there was a girl that was about 6ft. tall but beautiful so a lot of the guys were intimidated by her,  i noticed she watched us play foosball so i went and asked her to play partners with me and the smile on her face lit up the room, from then on she would hang out with our group. 

Sun Oct 31, 2021 3:21 pm

Hi Henry,  This story reminds me of a favourite song lyric of mine.  It's from a song by a Canadian rock band called The Northern Pikes, and the lyric is "She ain't pretty, she just looks that way."



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