Meet & talk to fellow OstoMates Support | Friendship | Relationships

Ostomy Memories of Real Manhood

Wed Nov 10, 2021 3:58 am
This is a great community. Consider joining.

MY MASCULINITY IS NOT THREATENED by such things as house work. As a teenager, my misdeeds were punished by having to do KP. In college, I was compelled to wash my own laundry, iron my own shirts, and cook my own meals. Today I work out at the gym, I have plenty of hair on my chest, and yet…and yet, I don’t hesitate to pitch in with dishes, laundry, and cooking. My machometer does not sound an alarm when I wield a hot iron, wash pots and pans, or whip up a meal. It’s a man with a fragile ego, a guy who’s not too sure of himself, who rebels at doing housework. At the extreme of the chest pounding, tough guy poser is the guy who feels the need to kick the dog and hit the wife or kids. (I can almost see our UK friend Bill bouncing in his chair as he reads this and pulling out his bully poems on the subject.) Real men, as I’m sure it’s been said by someone, don’t have to act out physically or strut around the house like banty roosters. Marriage is a shared experience, not a you-do-this and I-do-that designation according to gender. Besides, when I feel like bragging, I can always point out that I do a better job of some household chores than my spouse. That doesn’t make me a wuss; it makes me a complete man.

These are the top 5 issues ostomates face:

1. Dating and relationships
2. Concealing the pouch
3. Foods to eat and avoid
4. Losing or gaining weight
5. Pouch ballooning

Check out this video from MeetAnOstoMate.
Wed Nov 10, 2021 9:29 am

Hi Henry funny you mentioned share the work, after i got done vacuuming yesterday i had to go out and service my snowblower, change oil, spark plug, and this year the belts of which it takes 2 people as the unit needs to be split in half so my wife was called upon to steady one half while i changed the belts and then join the 2 halfs together which is almost impossible by my self as bolt holes need to be aligned, but together we got it done.

Wed Nov 10, 2021 11:50 am

Hi Henry what's KP? You are right about the joint sharing housework, cooking ect. I believe the reason that women used to do it all was because the man went to work and the woman stayed at home. Now both parties are out at work its only fair the chores should be shared as well. XX

Wed Nov 10, 2021 12:17 pm


Caz67 wrote:

Hi Henry what's KP? You are right about the joint sharing housework, cooking ect. I believe the reason that women used to do it all was because the man went to work and the woman stayed at home. Now both parties are out at work its only fair the chores should be shared as well. XX

KP stands for Kitchen Patrol (it's from the Armed Services). 

Wed Nov 10, 2021 1:41 pm

Hi Henry ... I would  take   Kitchen Patrol  before Shit Patrol . Up to your elbows in clean, hot soapy water rather than up to the knees in  cold, stinky  Shite  .. 😱

Wed Nov 10, 2021 2:03 pm


magoo wrote:

Hi Henry ... I would  take   Kitchen Patrol  before Shit Patrol . Up to your elbows in clean, hot soapy water rather than up to the knees in  cold, stinky  Shite  .. 😱

That's precisely why I kindly allow my wife to deal with the four litter boxes in our house.  To quote Dirty Harry, "A man's got to know his limitations." 

Wed Nov 10, 2021 3:22 pm

Any guy who has ever lived alone  gets the value of a little housework .  When the pile of dishes in the sink means that the next step is getting out the paper plates , the pile of laundry  demands  sniffing out a Tshirt that does not smell like a Marathon runner's armpit .   The bathroom requires a spritz with a large size bottle of bleach ....just to step into the shower , actually sitting on the toilet demands the courage of a WW1  Soldier going "  over the top "  into a hail of bullets and expliding shells .  The floor cannot be vaccumed because it is no longer visible under the various objects littering the floor . 

    This is the point where you either become Domesticated or you are doomed to be found by the landlord crushed and suffocated under the pile of old newspapers and empty pie tins , struck down with a Hefty Bag half open and your last words  scratched out in the dust.       Now where did I put that vaccum ceaner .....!!!!

     I used to manage some apartment buildings in Pacific Heights in San Francisco , a very  uppecrust area , The Getty family down the street , , millionaire's Row  extending to Billionaire's  Row .  Happily I had a nice one bedroom  with a view and a salary in a 60 unit building .  All I had to do was collect the checks and call the repair guys . 

       Everyone luving there was very well heeled but they were just  people with the odd behaviors afflicting most of us Mere Mortals in one form or another . 

       We had the young Japanese guy who collected newspapers , not just the couple of papers or magazines you leave in the bathroom  to peruse while occupied therein . I mean Tons of old  neatly folded Newspapes . They were stacked in neatly  folded piles , from the floor right up to the ceiling . He had been thoughtful in his construction project and had left some living space .  There was a passageway leading to his only comfy chair . Enough of the 4 foot wide window remained clear to allow a little light to enter .  His small bed was barely visible  at the end of another newspaper tunnel .   The really scary part of the story was the small kitchen .. Newspapers filled the small space , right to the ceiling  and alongside the electric cooker  with just enough space to access the cooking surface and no more .  The entire floor space was filled with these square paper towers right up to the ceiling  . 

     I had to enter the apt to check for a leak in the apt below . He answered the door when I knocked and showed no  " OH Shit  , I'm in trouble now !! "   reaction  which you might expect . He just greeted me and after I told him that I had to come in and check for a leak  he invited me in . The leak was in the bathroom downstairs so my first stop was his bathroom.  All I could see was a toilet and  sink . I could not look under the sink  but figured out that the leak was not in his apt .  I just stared at the scary sight of so much flammable kindling in the apt of a person who was a chain smaker  who actually cooked in his newspaper stacked  little kitchen . 

   For a few minutes I was speechless , just staring at the piles of paper and imagining what would happen if he dropped  a match or fell asleep wit a lit cigarette . His floor was concrete but the fiur floors above were wood frame construction . He was not concerned at all about how strange this looked to me or any other  " normal " person . 

    " I have to ask you Mr .....,  is there some particular reason for all these newspapers  to be stacked in your apt ??"   Without missing a beat he said ,  " Research " .  I asked why he needed the actual papers inside his apt  rather than maybe going to a library or making photocopies of any relevant pieces , relevant to  What you might ask  !!  This guy was a Sushi Chef in a fancy , expensive restaurant  just down the street on Fillmore St , not a researcher or University lecturer etc . I just wandered what makes a peson like thic  tick !?  He seemed perfectly normal  outside  of that apt , always friendly , always paid rent early , he just seemed like a normal nice guy .  

    I think he must have had so.e delusions about  some undefined conspiracies  and the proof was in the newspapers  ?? The papes were obviously useless , so dry they just crumbled at being touched .  He agreed to get them out of the apt  and I gave him a few days to clear them out or eviction proceedings would be the next step ....trying to  respectful  snd explaining that if there was a fire he would be liable for any damage , deaths or injuries . I did a formal notice to have a written record  of the encounter . I managed to snap a photo when he wasn't looking , as my evidence . There were no arguments or excuses , he just agreed to do as I asked . 

    The next day I was in the underground garage and I saw him opening a locker over his car , every tenant had a locker  which were quite large . I walked over and greeted him to see how the cleanout was goiing .  Of course , there were the crumbling newspapers , stacked neatly in the locker which turned his 3 foot by 4 foot locker into a  ready to light  Fire Log  !!!  Again zI had to explain why this was nit an adequate solution to our problem !!  He just did not get it , he geniinely looked puzzled at why I was upset  . Again I had to explain that all this fla.mable material was breaching a our fire codes and had to be removed from the building .  A week later I confirmed that all the papers were gone ....finally !! 

     The point of this little story is that people can seem perfectly            "  normal"  , regular people   until you encounter thrm in the middle of their abnormality . That is worded awkwardly but not sure If I have the words to convey the strangeness of this encounter . 

   In the same building there were maybe 5  tenants (  tenants living there  before I got there !! )  who had  their strange habits , behaviours  and compulsions .  The one lady who collected new clothes , labels still on , very expensive  and just stacked them , unworn , in her apt just the same as the other tenant and his ewspapers  !!  

   These personal encounters and others convince me that all political candidates should be required to have some kind of psych tests  before they are given the reins  of a City , a State  or leadership of an entire country .  Trump could have come across as a " normal ( almost) person" if he had  kept his crazy ideas behind closed doors and not actually said the  Quiet Part   out Loud !!!  

I do ramble on  so yea  Bob ...OH  Magoo , I've done it again !!!  

😱🤯

 

 

Wed Nov 10, 2021 9:47 pm


HenryM wrote:

That's precisely why I kindly allow my wife to deal with the four litter boxes in our house.  To quote Dirty Harry, "A man's got to know his limitations." 

Lol....got that right Henry ,  that's why I have no pets !!  Enough to deal with cleaning up my own Shite 😱

Past Member
Thu Nov 11, 2021 12:42 am


magoo wrote:

Any guy who has ever lived alone  gets the value of a little housework .  When the pile of dishes in the sink means that the next step is getting out the paper plates , the pile of laundry  demands  sniffing out a Tshirt that does not smell like a Marathon runner's armpit .   The bathroom requires a spritz with a large size bottle of bleach ....just to step into the shower , actually sitting on the toilet demands the courage of a WW1  Soldier going "  over the top "  into a hail of bullets and expliding shells .  The floor cannot be vaccumed because it is no longer visible under the various objects littering the floor . 

    This is the point where you either become Domesticated or you are doomed to be found by the landlord crushed and suffocated under the pile of old newspapers and empty pie tins , struck down with a Hefty Bag half open and your last words  scratched out in the dust.       Now where did I put that vaccum ceaner .....!!!!

     I used to manage some apartment buildings in Pacific Heights in San Francisco , a very  uppecrust area , The Getty family down the street , , millionaire's Row  extending to Billionaire's  Row .  Happily I had a nice one bedroom  with a view and a salary in a 60 unit building .  All I had to do was collect the checks and call the repair guys . 

       Everyone luving there was very well heeled but they were just  people with the odd behaviors afflicting most of us Mere Mortals in one form or another . 

       We had the young Japanese guy who collected newspapers , not just the couple of papers or magazines you leave in the bathroom  to peruse while occupied therein . I mean Tons of old  neatly folded Newspapes . They were stacked in neatly  folded piles , from the floor right up to the ceiling . He had been thoughtful in his construction project and had left some living space .  There was a passageway leading to his only comfy chair . Enough of the 4 foot wide window remained clear to allow a little light to enter .  His small bed was barely visible  at the end of another newspaper tunnel .   The really scary part of the story was the small kitchen .. Newspapers filled the small space , right to the ceiling  and alongside the electric cooker  with just enough space to access the cooking surface and no more .  The entire floor space was filled with these square paper towers right up to the ceiling  . 

     I had to enter the apt to check for a leak in the apt below . He answered the door when I knocked and showed no  " OH Shit  , I'm in trouble now !! "   reaction  which you might expect . He just greeted me and after I told him that I had to come in and check for a leak  he invited me in . The leak was in the bathroom downstairs so my first stop was his bathroom.  All I could see was a toilet and  sink . I could not look under the sink  but figured out that the leak was not in his apt .  I just stared at the scary sight of so much flammable kindling in the apt of a person who was a chain smaker  who actually cooked in his newspaper stacked  little kitchen . 

   For a few minutes I was speechless , just staring at the piles of paper and imagining what would happen if he dropped  a match or fell asleep wit a lit cigarette . His floor was concrete but the fiur floors above were wood frame construction . He was not concerned at all about how strange this looked to me or any other  " normal " person . 

    " I have to ask you Mr .....,  is there some particular reason for all these newspapers  to be stacked in your apt ??"   Without missing a beat he said ,  " Research " .  I asked why he needed the actual papers inside his apt  rather than maybe going to a library or making photocopies of any relevant pieces , relevant to  What you might ask  !!  This guy was a Sushi Chef in a fancy , expensive restaurant  just down the street on Fillmore St , not a researcher or University lecturer etc . I just wandered what makes a peson like thic  tick !?  He seemed perfectly normal  outside  of that apt , always friendly , always paid rent early , he just seemed like a normal nice guy .  

    I think he must have had so.e delusions about  some undefined conspiracies  and the proof was in the newspapers  ?? The papes were obviously useless , so dry they just crumbled at being touched .  He agreed to get them out of the apt  and I gave him a few days to clear them out or eviction proceedings would be the next step ....trying to  respectful  snd explaining that if there was a fire he would be liable for any damage , deaths or injuries . I did a formal notice to have a written record  of the encounter . I managed to snap a photo when he wasn't looking , as my evidence . There were no arguments or excuses , he just agreed to do as I asked . 

    The next day I was in the underground garage and I saw him opening a locker over his car , every tenant had a locker  which were quite large . I walked over and greeted him to see how the cleanout was goiing .  Of course , there were the crumbling newspapers , stacked neatly in the locker which turned his 3 foot by 4 foot locker into a  ready to light  Fire Log  !!!  Again zI had to explain why this was nit an adequate solution to our problem !!  He just did not get it , he geniinely looked puzzled at why I was upset  . Again I had to explain that all this fla.mable material was breaching a our fire codes and had to be removed from the building .  A week later I confirmed that all the papers were gone ....finally !! 

     The point of this little story is that people can seem perfectly            "  normal"  , regular people   until you encounter thrm in the middle of their abnormality . That is worded awkwardly but not sure If I have the words to convey the strangeness of this encounter . 

   In the same building there were maybe 5  tenants (  tenants living there  before I got there !! )  who had  their strange habits , behaviours  and compulsions .  The one lady who collected new clothes , labels still on , very expensive  and just stacked them , unworn , in her apt just the same as the other tenant and his ewspapers  !!  

   These personal encounters and others convince me that all political candidates should be required to have some kind of psych tests  before they are given the reins  of a City , a State  or leadership of an entire country .  Trump could have come across as a " normal ( almost) person" if he had  kept his crazy ideas behind closed doors and not actually said the  Quiet Part   out Loud !!!  

I do ramble on  so yea  Bob ...OH  Magoo , I've done it again !!!  

😱🤯

 

 

Magoo Man,

This is hilarious!!  You are quite the storyteller.

Now it's time for me to take the garbage out to the curb before it piles up to the ceiling.

Goodnight and thanks for the laugh.....

:o)

 

Thu Nov 11, 2021 1:20 pm

Hi Tessa  and any other readers  , thank you for reading and for your fantastic comment Tessa ,  so nice that I gave you a smile 😋🤗.

I just wanted to point out that every word of it is True, sadly . The reason he gave in such a  matter of fact way is exactly what he told me .  "Research"    was his reason for living in an Fueled Up Unlit Pizza Over ( only needed a match to fire it up !!! ) .  I never got him to explain exactly what he was trying to do research on .  Then I thought , that's it ....Spontaneous Human Combustion  !!  

   An old saying is ,  " Any defendant who acts as his own Attorney  has a Fool for a client " .   Similarly . Any  untrained non-Scientist who  does his own Research into Molecular Biology , Viral Pathogens ,  DNA / RNA  based treatment protocols   etc etc etc ....that person has a Fool for a patient .   A condition caled  Dunning -Kruger effect  is now officially recognized .  So happy there"s a name for it .  

   One can be intelligent enough to know a fair bit about al lot of things and be convesationally  competent in lots of things ...technically  called "  being a good bullshit artist "  but Expert in none .  As Henry  /  Dirty Harry and  myself  have said  , a man's (Woman ,)  gotta know his Limitations .  I believe I have a fairly broad spectrum of knowlege about a lot of things ( called a good Liberal Arts Education ) but I know when to defer to the real Experts .

An intelligent person should know where Amateur ends and Expert begins , otherwise you're just my onetime tenant with piles of crumbling  bits of information without the foundation to stand up to scrutiny  or criticism . 

   Tess I have some  hilarious and dangerous examples of people's  foibles and misdeeds from my days as Babysitter to rich kid tenants and Baby  Adults ....maybe I should write a book !!?? 

Mister Magoo Out ....Love to all the Baggers out there . Keep Smilin .

* Please, do not post contact information, personal information or advertising.
All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Currently online: 25    
4 members & 21 visitors