Yesterday was the third anniversary of the death of my son. This time of year is so hard for me. He was only 33 and I had to unplug his life support. He had contracted Pneumonia and ended up on a ventilator. The Pallative doctor called me in Montana and told me to come to Everett Washington and to bring his brother and sister. We drove two days and met my brothers there and gently eased my sweet boy to Heaven. I dread each year and I try to find something to keep my mind busy so I don't think about that day. My life has never been the same and part of my heart died that day as well. I miss him so much but I know he is happy and no longer in pain. This year it seemed to be a little easier and I am very relieved. He was a good young man and loved the Lord deeply and for that I am grateful.
I'm very sorry for your pain, I wish I could give you a big hug.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this difficult time, and I would like to say how sorry I am for your loss.
We all cope with bereavement in different ways and there is no right or wrong approach to this very emotionally difficult process.
As is often the case, although this is not the time of the year for any similar bereavement anniversary for me, your post reminds me of my own grief. Hence, I felt the need to deal with the emotions arising, by documenting how I feel in verse.
Whilst I don’t particularly like being reminded of sad times, I do thank you for the opportunity of capturing my own thoughts on the concept, which I will share with you:
ANNIVERSERIES – BEREAVEMENT.
The worst of anniversaries
are those with sad precursories,
reminding us of times gone by
and cheerless times when we would cry.
The loss of loved one’s is the worst,
for every year there comes a burst
of memories and emotions where
that loss will seem to be unfair.
What these anniversaries bring,
are memories of each little thing
that happened round about the time,
creating a sad paradigm.
The process of bereavement tends
to be more pertinent for friends
and family of those who depart,
for their loss stays within the heart.
And anniversaries appear
to repeat this year on year,
reminders of a sad event
where we lament but can’t prevent.
I’m not a fan of this approach,
and will not let sadness encroach
upon the memories I had
of all those times that weren’t so bad.
I’ll try to displace melancholy,
with memories of times more jolly,
when my loved one was still there
and all the great times we would share.
I’ll try to minimise my gloom,
open my mind to make some room
for those things that in times gone by
were known to lift my spirits high.
B. Withers 2021
Hello Freedancer , My warmest condolences . Remember : “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.” Job 1: 21
I am truly sorry for the loss of your beautiful son, and the pain you're going through. I can't even imagine as I have adult children and couldn't even fathom the loss.
As people say, time heals- even though we never think it will, somehow days, months and years pass and miraculously we do get better. We will never forget our special loved ones but we are able to move on and live. Your son would want you to be happy so you must live your best life.
I will keep you in my prayers and am happy to hear you are finally starting to heal from your grief. Hug your other children tightly and give them all your love.
God bless you,
May I first of say how deeply sorry I am for your pain in losing your son. Our loved ones are still with us but we just cannot see them until it's our turn to cross the vale. XX
| Bill wrote:
Hi Bill continue to remember your loved ones and treasure those memories until you meet again XX
That would be 1 tough day each year.
Hi freedancer, I am so sorry to hear of your great loss, and can only imagine how painful this time of year must be for you. It is a good reminder to us all that Christmas time is not everyone's favourite time. I can tell you from my own experience, that the pain will lessen as time goes by and the painful memories of your son will mostly be replaced by the happy ones. The good memories are the ones you never want to lose and they will sustain you always.
All the best,
Hello freelancer. I too would like to express my sympathy on the loss of your son. I usually have a hard time in December too. Five of my siblings have passed right at Christmas. The last one just last year. I know that losing your child was much more painful. I am happy that you’re taking comfort in the fact that he was close to the Lord. Take care of yourself and try remembering all the good times you had with him.
So sorry for the pain you are feeling.I know sisters are nothing like losing a child and it always worse this time of the tear. The reason I mentioned sisters is becasue My two sisters and myself always went shopping together. I was out today and I felt so lonesome. The pain does not go away with time we just have to learn to remember the good times. You know one day since he was close to the Lord you will be able to see him again. Best wishes and I will pray for you.
Blessings to everyone who shares their grief.