LONE WATIE, THE INDIAN PLAYED BY Chief Dan George in the great western “The Outlaw Josey Wales,” had an unforgettable line: “Endeavor to persevere.” In other words, keep trying. Be persistent. Keep on keeping on. That’s exactly what I’m presently doing by trying, with the limited amount of enthusiasm that I’m able to muster, to like salad. It’s supposed to be healthy, and I can’t say that I dislike it. But I’m a classic meat & potatoes man. I like food with substance. Salad seems, well, insubstantial. You got some lettuce, some tomato, some cucumber, maybe some olives, broccoli, bits of egg, onion, you pour some lite dressing on it, and… meh. “A cucumber,” opined Samuel Johnson, “should be well-sliced, dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out.” I’ll even admit that, to the down-but-not-out male ego that still lives within my soul, eating salad seems somehow, I don’t know… feminine. But, keeping with my rather halfhearted New Year decision to drop some pounds, I am endeavoring to persevere. I go heavy on the green olives. If I’m lucky, I have some scallion in the fridge. If we’ve got ‘em, I’ll even drop in a few slices of beet. But how a mere salad is supposed to satisfy anyone is beyond me. As kids, we referred to it as “rabbit food” and wouldn’t go near it. Losing weight is supposed to make one healthier and happier and want to live longer, but I’m wondering if living longer without blueberry pie, ice cream, and chocolate is worth it.
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