IT HAS TAKEN A GREAT AMOUNT OF EFFORT to simplify my life. Since back in the day, when Janis Joplin told us that freedom is having ‘nothin' left to lose,' I have been busy doing my best in my profession, accumulating both responsibility and the ever-available ‘stuff' that somehow is attracted to you like metal shards to a magnet. I don't really know if I was happy, but I certainly was satisfied with myself. Happiness, whatever that is, can be a modest sense of fulfilment or a figment of one's imagination, a valid if indistinct goal or an unnecessary distraction. Finally, in the thrall of old age, I was ready – determined, in fact – to shed the superfluous accumulations and uncomplicate my life. “It is very simple to be happy,” wrote Rabindranath Tagore, “but it is very difficult to be simple.” So I had to get rid of both things and non-things, possessions and obligations, and I have accomplished that as much as possible given my familial circumstances. I had things that I thought I wanted at the time, much of which I could well have done without. Now I willingly, happily, do without. Janis Joplin had another line in a song: ‘Hey, hey, get it while you can.' I suppose that I did, after my fashion, but it belongs today where it ought to be… in the past.
I used to keep items that were given to me as a gift because I thought it was rude not to. When I was living in NC my MIL (and her mother) were having a yard sale one weekend and she was selling a throw pillow her mother had made for her. I was a bit shocked she was doing that and asked her about it. She said they go by the 5 year rule. You only have to keep a gift for 5 years and then you can get rid of it with no guilt. I only had 4 more years to go until I could put that 2 foot high ceramic duck that was given to us as a wedding gift out in my own yard sale. 😄🦆🦆🦆
Simple is better !! A 2 foot high Duck LOL..were they sending some kind of message ? 😋? Can't imagine giving such an enigmatic Wedding gift 🤯. You have my permission to gently place it at the water's edge in the nearest pond ( Not Too near !! LOL ) your home ! 😊.
Over a few years I stripped my whole house down to the concrete walls ( lived with one lightbulb and one elec outlet for power for a while !! ) and rebuilt it and had the best excuse to really clean house . Kept the essential memory nicnaks , everything else had to go .
Some things have to be kept 😋☘
That duck is long gone!!! LOL 😄🦆🦆🦆
Once again I am in the process of preparing to move... 🏠 so releasing a lot of 'stuff'... but some things do need to be kept... the ring my son made for me out of a rock and colored duct tape for Mother's Day one year... 💎 the Angel wings my daughter used to draw me when she was little. 👼❤️❤️❤️
...the note my now 47-year old daughter wrote to me when she was just two: "I love you very much and don't forget that okay"
Awww ❤...you got a friend for life . A good, loving Mom makes all the difference ! ☘💚
Awww..❤again !
I found some little things like that . When I stripped one wall there was a board underneath where myself and my younger Sister had drawn chalk pictures . Lots of hand made cards from my Nephews and Nieces to my Parents .
☘💚
LOL Maybe it is sitting by a river somewhere in North Carolina right now freaking out dogs. 😄
When we lived in Arizona my cousin lived down the street.
We were talking one day about a wedding gift she received (years ago) and had always hated it. She said one of our neighbors was having a garage sale and she was finally getting rid of it in the garage sale. The day of the sale I purchased the item and asked the neighbor to please not tell her I bought it.
December was upon us so I wrapped it in the most beautiful Christmas paper I could find. At the family Christmas party that year I gave her “the gift “.
We laughed and farted all the way home !
Your precious duck sounds fabulous! Haha!
Yes, I too was taught I couldn't get rid of gifts or birthday/christmas/thank you cards (cards had a 6 mos rule though) for a long long time. Must have been the thing years ago.
I like your idea of giving a time limit! Thank you!
Ohhhh my goodness! I have laughed and laughed about this while gardening! Trying to come up with a way to do the same to my older twin brothers! Hahaha
Thank you for the awesome laughs!
First, being a newbie on this site, I have to say your articles are great and you are such a wonderful writer.
You are so right and it sounds amazingly "freeing" in mind, spirit and possession wise.
But....to actually get up the nerve one day and do it? That is something I need to do. But your article did inspire me, thank you!
~Colene
Thanks Sally, I like the five year rule! In fact, I'm thinking of a few things I might just get rid of right away and they have outlived their five years big-time. One is a bookmark made out of wood. It is carved to look like a bird, and although it's pretty, who would ever use a wooden bookmark??!! It's been collecting dust for years, and I wonder if the friend I got it from would even remember giving it to me. Gone!
Terry
I bet you someone would just love that wooden bookmark if they found it in a yard sale or goodwill store! One man/woman's trash is another's treasure. 😀
Give that bird a second chance - stick it in a flower pot (plant) then get shed of it when the wood rots. You can see I too have a hard time parting with things ! 🤪
I remember reading decluttering expert Marie Kondo's book 'The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up'. I like how she suggested holding an object and ask 'Does this spark joy?' If it doesn't, get rid of it. I'm not sure you can use this for everything but I used it for a lot of items. Items hold memories and sometimes those memories are not nice. We forget about things that happen sometimes until we encounter an item or person that reminds us of it. So if you don't have those items, then you cannot invoke those memories. Big reason I got rid of a lot of my 'stuff'.
I'm the guy going to the garage sales hunting for the quirky stuff you think is Weird !! In Ireland and England they call them " car Boot sales " with not a boot in sight !! 😋.....sort of a 'SwapMeet".
Bear with me, Henry, please. I don't think you are unique in not realizing if you were happy. As I age I feel that lots of words we use regularly are not accurately defined by the users and/or not interpreted as the user intended. We tend to get careless with words, especially when referencing emotions. We say we hate or love when we mean we dislike or like. How many of us had many of the “greatest day of my life”? Sometimes, “I couldn't be happier” actually means, “It was OK”. We sometimes offer each other “peace”. I'm not sure peace is enough for me. Peace implies absence of conflict but conflict could be exciting in an educational or physical way. Complacency suggests boredom. I had very little experience with boredom in my life and I'm way too old to pursue it now. When a person “thinks” he/she is happy, I wonder if that's the same as “feeling” happy or actually “being” happy. Again, it's about the definition of things and the more energy I put into that the less simple it gets. I think Tagore meant it's easier for simple folks to be happy than it is for the brainy ones who might think the crap out of everything.
I love your writing; really.
Mike
I think Emerson got it right .
"The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well ". Ralph Waldo Emerson quote .
My two cents , overthinking is the enemy of happiness ...Magoo 🙂☘
You're welcome! I'm glad you liked the idea of giving a time limit for keeping birthday gifts and cards. It can be a practical way to declutter and let go of things that no longer serve a purpose. Remember, it's all about finding what works best for you and bringing more simplicity and joy into your life. Happy decluttering!
