As AlexT says -the decision should be yours.
I went for years in acute/constant pain and discomforting incontinence, until eventually I 'gave up' and elected for a stoma.
It's not something I wanted, but it's a damned site better than what I had and I rarely regret the move. Several times It has ben suggested that I go for a reversal, But I have declined on the grounds that the life I have now is so much better than the life I had before (reversal would probably mean a revision of previous problems).
If you have the support of your wife, this will most likely help with self-image issues. I believe that Physical image is not the thing which cements true and lasting relationships, it is the way we think and behave towards one another that counts so much more.
Personally, I have some 'AIMS' in life which guide my behaviour and decision making. You may notice that none of them refer to physical image.
Sometimes caring and compassion
shows in someone’s inner passion,
which can evolve from having aims
that a person proudly claims.
When a person’s truly kind,
this partly is a state of mind,
which often has a theory base
guiding their practice interface.
It’s good to have your aims right there
so you can show you really care,
and you can point to each facet
as a caring, sharing asset.
The aims we list should show we may
be kind to people everyday,
then, with our smiles and personal charm,
make sure that they don’t come to harm.
Some time ago I made a list
of aims, so people got the gist
of what my caring was about
so, they would never be without.
My list of aims was based upon
the kindness, friendliness and bond
that’s found between people and pets,
for that’s the best that friendship gets.
And once I sowed that seed in mind,
it grew into me being kind,
for that’s the way my pets taught me
and that’s the way I want to be.
The thing about the aims I’ve got,
they have no devious, hidden plot,
so, bullies feel that I will not
align with them, as a tosspot.
Be Withers 2020
AIMS in RELATIONSHIPS.
In relationships I proclaim.
That it is good to have an aim.
So think of how much better then
If I increased my aims to ten.
My first aim is to be right there.
If you’re not there how can you care.
To be ‘there’ - for someone.
Has got to be, aim number one.
To be consistent is number two.
Then people can rely on you.
They’ll know you will not let them down.
And they’ll know you’ll be around.
Next, I’ll try to persevere.
To be honest, genuine and sincere.
So honesty and sincerity.
Will be a top priority.
Non-judgemental’s number four.
For no one is without a flaw.
Judgements bring things to a close
So this is what I would oppose.
Listening is a lovely thing.
And true friendships it can bring.
Listening’s something that’s still free.
My listening comes with empathy.
What would I choose for number six
For good relationships to fix.
What has potentiality.
In number seven I justify
My belief in D.I.Y.
To ‘my’ will no one will cower.
I try to enable and empower.
Unconditional positive regard.
Can sometimes be a little hard.
So I will try to show respect.
And relationships perfect.
It will come as no surprise.
My last aim tries to emphasise.
That I will focus on these aims.
And principles from which they came.
B. Withers 2007
(This AIMS list is from inverse analysis book 1 )