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Be safe out there

 
This is the best website for people with an Ostomy. So much understanding.

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the motorway. You're going to be okay, you'll be able to walk again and sustain a reasonably normal life, however your penis was severed in the accident and they couldn't find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have £9000 in insurance compensation coming for the severed member and we now have the technology to build you a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. They're roughly £1000 an inch."
The man perks up.
"So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should probably discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife about the penis?"
"Yes I have," says the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?" asks the doctor.
“Yes" says the man.
"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.
"We're getting granite worktops."

 

🤣!

MeetAnOstoMate - 28,298 members
 

Better be some damn good meals in the future. 👀

 

I think I would have opted for a motorcycle... 

 

Oh my 😂

 


AlexT wrote:

Better be some damn good meals in the future. 👀

LOL Alex 😂

 


HenryM wrote:

I think I would have opted for a motorcycle... 

Life in the fast lane... 😎

 

🤣🤣🤣 nice way of saying dickless..  

 

I wonder what that guy will do now to pass the time in between meals being prepared on that new granite. 🤔 I know what he won’t be doing. 😮🤭😁

 


AlexT wrote:

I wonder what that guy will do now to pass the time in between meals being prepared on that new granite. 🤔 I know what he won’t be doing. 😮🤭😁

I find drawing stick arms on birds quite rewarding. 

 


HenryM wrote:

I think I would have opted for a motorcycle... 

Great minds think alike !!  That would be my choice Henry !! 

However my one legged friend might say to my comment ,  Fools seldom differ  !!  😱😱

 


SallyK wrote:

I find drawing stick arms on birds quite rewarding. 

LOL 🙃😢....you left out the most important Bit  Sally  !! ....need drawing instructions ? 😜

 


SallyK wrote:

I find drawing stick arms on birds quite rewarding. 

LOL 🙃....you left out the most important Bit  Sally  😜.   The opposable thumb ☘👍👍

 


Homie With A Stomie NS wrote:

🤣🤣🤣 nice way of saying dickless..  

So Yea , I guess in that case the opposable thumb would be pointless !! 🤯😱

 


Mayoman wrote:

So Yea , I guess in that case the opposable thumb would be pointless !! 🤯😱

of course the curve is all wrong 😆 🤣 

 

He prolly misunderstood her - she prolly said - - - grand nite !

 

Goodness-Gracious-Me   !!  🥵☘

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