A PAIR OF %$&(#@&% SOCKS

OK, here's the newest piece of fun and games. Now, at the time, it was hell, and we're slowly getting back to normal. This time, it started with me sitting on the edge of the bed and trying to put on a pair of socks. Well, my right leg would not come up far enough, so with one hand, I was trying to lift my leg up far enough to accomplish this feat of dexterity, and that didn't work. So I bent over from the waist. WHAM! I took this awful pain from my stoma up to my lower rib cage. Now I can't straighten up, so I had to take a header to the floor. Things are really moving fast now. As I hit the floor, I got this awful burning on my belly on the other side from my stoma. So now I'm lying on the floor, and the pain in my right hip joint is really doing its thing. So I have to twist around to get to the foot of the bed and try to get myself in an upright position, and at the same time, I have this feeling that I've been poisoned and am about to be sick and was going to get to the bathroom. The only problem was when I tried to walk, the pain in my hip joint caused me to hit the floor again. So now I feel sick as hell, can't walk without falling down, and my head is not working right as I keep trying to stand up and move. No dice! I hit the wall pretty good, and that's when my wife got home, and "here comes the ambulance," and now everything goes blank for a while. A few days later, my doctor said my kidneys were not working, so they pumped a lot of crap into me, and I started coming around, except for my lower spine, which felt like I just went through another herniated disc episode. So now I'm home and almost back to "normal" for me. Through all this crap, I was fortunate I never had a problem with my pouch or wafer. Anyway, all this because I was trying to put on a pair of socks. Some days, life just sucks, but I am thankful that I'm still able to bitch and complain. What more could one ask for? Ed