A True Friend's Uplifting Support

Hi there Ostomy friends,

For a short but troubling time recently I experienced an unusual ( happily ) downturn in my mood and general dispodition; in plain English I simmply felt like shit !!! There appeared to be no distinct or logical reason for this dramatic swing in my mood. My butt was giving me some trouble, leaking some stinky stuff ( de-functioned J-Pouch) but this is not really new to me but it hurt a little more than usual. This never sent me into a temporary black abyss in the past, I just padded my butt and went about my day.

For a week or so my mood only became darker, very disconcerting indeed. I suspect that my sleep was was not as deep and sound as it appeared to be, possibly. Self doubt and insecurity ruled for those days and I really had no idea why.

Then a true friend, a Princess on her white horse came crashing through the gloom and the fog and rescued me. She did not tell me to " snap out of it " or " just get on with it ".

This warm, sweet lady read my overly long emails, listened ( email ) to my moaning as I tried to get my state of mind in a better place and begin to feel good about myself again. Her responses were always encouraging and uplifting and slowly penetrated the gloomy cloud that had decended on my self esteem. I had been feeling like Linus from Peanuts, the cloud had been over my head, following me everywhere, with no apparent cause.

I have family around me but I live alone but I could not share my moody feelings with family because They might get the idea that I was what you might call "despondent"; this term carries much baggage and does NOT apply to me.

I have been exchanging emails with this lady for many months and have really enjoyed our time online but her patience and her bright, calm outlook on life is extraordinary and she is a true inspiration.

My friend embodies the true spirit of this site and it's reason for being, to help each other even when we might try our collective and individual patience at times. She has a talent for saying just the right words exactly when they are needed , exuding a calmness that is captivating and contageous. Well some of that calmness has been gifted to me just from her emails and I hope that I can do the same for her some day although I really don't think she would ever need it.

You know who you are J and I am eternally grateful for your friendship

I have found the true meaning of friendship and of this site and wanted to encourage everyone not to be discouraged by someone's gloomy mood, usually it's just a passing phase and there is always some sunshine , just waiting for the clouds of gloom to lift.

Thank You J. from the bottom of my heart.

Magoo XX
hello Mayoman. What a lovely tribute to a wonderful person brilliantly written. Thank you so much for posting this as it was a pleasure to read and an inspiration to us all. Best wishes Bill

Hi Bill, thank you so much for the kind and generous words. A cherished MAO friend just stopped writing and nobody (Non Ostos) could understand why I would be so concerned about someone I had never even met. We, on this site, are very special friends like family, just closer, and I feel like I've known her all my life. She (from London) is the best friend I have. A dear friend from Australia walked and talked me through my anxiety and fears. Her empathy was extraordinary but only natural for such a good, kind, and emotionally generous person. By the way, I love your poetry. I try it myself sometimes but not as good as yours. Thank you again, Bill. Best wishes from Irish Magoo. I've since heard from my London friend and she is okay, just frustrated with her problems and treatment.

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Hello Mayoman. It is a bit worrying when contacts stop without reasons. However, I'm glad for you that it has now been resolved.Thanks for the positive comments on the rhyming verse it is always welcome!Best wishesBill

In my response to Bill, I said something that I really need to amend. Politicians say that they misspoke, a euphemism for lying, usually!! My error was not exactly a lie, so I truly misspoke. I used the wrong wording. I said that my friend from London was the best friend I have. This is not a true statement, not completely accurate. I have several people who I call my best friends. Naming one of these wonderful people as a best friend is akin to asking a father which of his children is his favorite one!!! This question cannot be answered in either context. The friends I've met here are irreplaceable and totally distinct from each other in their personalities, attitudes, and qualities as human beings. My friends here each have their own unique qualities with which I can connect. Some correspond with me often, some not so often, but I know that if I needed help, they would all answer the call. I simply didn't want to burden more than one person with my misery when I actually felt miserable. As soon as I seemed a little down, I got the support from J, and she rode in to rescue me!!! She is such a calming influence that I immediately poured out my heart to the poor woman, and she just accepted my burden as if it were her own. I only write this because my previous words could have been construed as unkind or uncaring towards my other best friends on MAO. I love them equally and dearly, and I hope they never forget me, just as I will never forget them. If this sounds a bit pompous, I apologize, just saying how I feel about the kind, good people who I've met here on MAO. I hope everyone is fortunate enough to find friends like these. I'm still up, and I hope I remain there!! Back to my happy self!! Don't know if I should submit this, but I will anyway!! Mayoman

Getting Support in the Ostomy Community with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister

Hey Magoo, you have the kindest soul. Everyone should know, if they don't already, that true friendships, love affairs, and even long-term and lasting relationships can happen over the internet. Just because we don't first meet face-to-face does not mean we can't connect with someone solely based on how they think and feel. Actually, I think it's a better connection than physical attraction. I have met a few very good people on this site that have become my friends. The only thing that will make it even better is if I can one day actually reach out and give each of them a huge hug, of which you are one. It isn't just non-ostos that don't understand internet relationships. I have had many people in my life nag me (to put it nicely) because of my internet life. I am going to say here what I have said to them. I have found truer friends and people that are willing to listen and try to understand, if not truly understand, than the majority of the people in my real life. As for pompous, I didn't believe that word could ever pertain to you. After looking up the definition, I know I am right. So glad you are your happy self again!


A friend in need is a friend indeed, that's how the story goes. To understand how we sometimes feel and lend an ear to our troubles and woes. Not every second do we have to spend in their being to understand, nor a family member or closest friend to help or lend a hand. We come on here because we all know why, no need to worry, no need to be shy. Our ostomate friends from every port give us love and support.


I am so happy for you. I need a J in my life too.

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