Not Always Okay

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807
Lilmesican
May 12, 2020 8:42 am
I had my surgery on April 1, 2016, April Fool's Day. Each time I tell the story, I mention how I was hoping the doctor would come out and tell me it was a joke. That I didn't need the surgery... Psyche!!! That didn't happen.


After complications with radiation for anal cancer, a colostomy was the better option. It was the best decision. It has made my life better. I would have been wearing diapers for the rest of my life. It was a good decision.


Why doesn't it always feel that way?


There are still days when I get out of the shower and look in the mirror and feel broken. Not that the surgery slowed me down. The opposite, I'm busier than ever. Growing professionally. Life is good.


I am grateful. I am blessed. I am succeeding. I am perfect.


I am also okay admitting that not every day feels perfect. I am also okay not pretending that it is. I'm not always okay.





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xnine
May 12, 2020 12:41 pm
It is OK to not be OK. Some days are just harder than others. Just something I received on Facebook that caught my eye. From an old blog of mine
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Maried
May 12, 2020 1:46 pm

Remember your ostomy is only a small part of what you are and just enjoy life.
I have had mine for many years. It was strange in the beginning, and this has been my new normal, and I agree, far better than pooping in your pants!

aprangn
May 12, 2020 2:39 pm
I feel Ya. However, I love road trips without having to sit on nasty public toilets, etc...
lovely
May 12, 2020 7:55 pm
Like xnine said it is OK to not be OK sometimes. I think a lot of us feel that way at times. It may not be the ideal situation but it is better than the alternative. Just hang in there and stay safe.
 

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warrior
May 13, 2020 3:52 am

To be able to put yourself out there and make these comments shows that you are, in fact, okay, dude. Strong, brave. Don't kid yourself. You did good. You look good. You know, some days you're the hydrant, when other days you're the dog. Get it? :)

Lilmesican
Jun 06, 2020 6:39 pm
Thank you so much for all the kind words. I've learned in my almost 50 years that feelings and emotions will come and go.
I'm working on a series of interviews with other ostomates.
If you are interested in telling your story or being part of a panel get in touch.
danielggarza@lilmesicanproductions.com
:)