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I have experience with intimacy between two ostimates

Reply to Ostomate & woundr

Fair play to you!👏👏 Onward and upward!🙌🙌🫶🙋🏼‍♀️

Talk to others with an Ostomy
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Reply to AlexT

AlexT I’ve been away from the board for a bit…. And reading your posts are making me happy I popped back in. I remember you well. I also dunno about the calisthenics referred to here because of an ostomy. Intimacy is intimacy though and however one chooses, well, that’s what works. I think lying side by side just staring into a loved one’s eyes and feeling the electricity in the air can be one of the most intimate acts ever. No calisthenics required. Just be and breathe and relax. I’ve had both hips replaced, one knee, one shoulder, and sigmoid colon removed and I have MS, RA and two other oddball auto immune disorders (PMR and GCA) if I did calisthenics there’d big a great big problem.  😂😂😂 (These surgeries were necessary after I got drowned in prednisone.)  Anyhow I think you and I might be of the same mind. Just find that person to love, and be loving and gentle in all you do. A surprise kiss on the back of the neck at the kitchen counter can be the most delightful feeling in the world. I hope to someday be back in that world!

Just got this in my email today.🤯

Reply to crappycolondiaries

Oh sorry Crapster..........Jules and I are a 'thing' from private messaging.......but don't know I still luv ya!  But to be honest, had she picked a username that started with "Crap", I'd probably still bust her balls for it..........I mean, it's just too hard to resist!!

And NO, I'm NOT going to explain Jules having balls to you Alex..........just keep going with your flesh colored crayons!

Are we all one big dyslexic 'Brady Bunch' or what?  

Only in the 'Ostoworld', I guess!

Everyone have a fantabulous Wednesday!!


Reply to w30bob

I should’ve known better to awaken anything to do with crap again with you 🤣

Reply to eefyjig

I swear my iPhone listens in on conversations. My sil and I were talking the other day and the next thing I knew as I was typing it was showing prompts for what we had talked about. 


"Kama Sutra is a book of philosophy on ethics and aesthetics, never just an ancient text on sexual positions and sexual pleasure." "were actually about everything from urban living to statecraft, from perfumes to gardens," The "distortion" of the book happened "in part because the first edition of Kama Sutra in English was done by colonial enthusiast—and Orientalist—Richard Burton in the late nineteenth century," she explains. Burton "wanted to create a fantasy for his English-speaking audience by portraying people of the East as hypersexual and unchanging, without history," notes Mitra. But, she adds, "Unfortunately, people still use these reductive, racist ideas to think about Indian sexuality in the past and present." “The Kama Sutra is divided into several chapters. It gives advice to people on how to enjoy the pleasures of life, including sex.” Vanita explains that the text also encourages people to engage in 64 different forms of art—like cooking, music, and even flower arrangement—to experience pleasure beyond the bedroom. The Kama Sutra does address sex positions, but it’s really only in one section, points out Gigi Engle, a certified sex coach. "[It's] about the art of living and loving well and obtaining and maintaining the pleasures of life—including sex and love," “It describes different types of kisses, love bites, scratches, etc. and catalogues 64 heterosexual positions for sexual intercourse,” she shares.

Everything above comes from quotes. Kama Sutra is about pleasure and attempt to illustrate people how to experience sensorially and naturally the intense sensations of pleasure in all its forms. It’s a way of life it advocates, and sex is part of that well-lived life. It’s about sensuality in all its forms at the end, in everything you do you can be sensitive and sensual in the sense you can absorb an  experience fully in all its forms a simple experience, in everything you do and at all times. From the most mundane to the most intricate, you can feel joy and pleasure in all of it. Epicurus’ philosophy is about this, about pleasure and learning to experience pleasure, in all its forms. Just like Kama Sutra, Epicurus was and is also vastly misunderstood, reason they use it for food, like Epicurean, which he would hate because he also meant pleasure in all its forms, as Kama Sutra does, now the Indian version is more explicit. It is great for people that are starting their sixties I think because you go into an age where the force and Tarzan like energy is not the same, but there is more to discover and this exploration is perfect for people entering their gray years. Sensitivity and sensuality go hand in hand, so developing your sensitivity or learning to be more sensitive and attuned to your bodily sensations, as in meditation, is good practice for this. So J was right, it doesn’t have to be all about penetration and the wild exuberance of youth, it can be actually more fulfilling and more deeply felt and experienced, as in orgasms by being sensual and sensitive, but you can apply this as in these teachings to all aspects of your life.

I recommend for males to buy a massage table and learn to give deep massages, this will develop your sensitive side. I give massages to a couple of friends once in a blue moon and it's fun, now, these are friends who use a towel on their waists, keep their panties, bras on, but I always put a towel also to cover their breasts, but you can use it with love making also. It works great during love making, That is if you can forget your little Johnnie down under for forty five minutes and be able to give a woman, naked, a slow deep massage, without touching her private parts, or breasts, at all, or you ruin the whole thing. I will not elaborate because I don’t want to cause trouble here, but if you can do this for that long and do it relatively well, well, what comes next is more—if I was to find the perfect analogy, it’d be more like an all-you-can-eat-buffet-- sensitivity, sensuality, patience and self-control has its rewards. So, J is right, but Kama Sutra does help, and hey, some monkey’ loving is good too. 


By the way, I also tried to draw a diagram of these instructions, and I also almost pulled and messed up one of my tendons in my right thigh, almost broke my heel also, never mind where my balls ended. And, I didn’t use crayons, would have been more fun that way. Asking a man to follow instructions like this is like asking two ducks, with their big feet and huge beaks, to do a 69. Jesus, please include a picture and number the steps so we men can follow next time. 😂

Reply to Itsinthebagnow


Reply to crappycolondiaries DOES listen to your conversations.  Same with Google.  That's why when you type something into the Google search bar it knows what you're looking for, usually by the third keystroke.  And I'm not kidding.  I have a good friend who works at Apple.  There's LOTS of stuff going on with your phone that you just really don't want to know about.  


Big Brother

Reply to crappycolondiaries

Yup.......I should!!!


Reply to AlexT

Yoga by way of Kama Sutra Alex !!   Great exercise and so much fun !! Broaden your horizons !!  😈☘

Reply to Mr.Heart2Win

Absolutely !!  Love and Relationship is about the Whole Person and making life, especially Intimacy  interesting and exciting . Touching and massage can stretch out the sensual experience for Hours and Almost bring the same satisfaction as sex ...but really the sex should be the culmination of the whole experience ...the big scoop of Ice Cream on the Cake ...sort of having your cake and Eating it too 😈😊...

Magoo ☘😈

PS:  Preemptive Strike here ....the whole Saint Patrick's Day thing ...since it's coming up ☘💚

It's " Paddy's Day " ....Not " Patty's Day ".

"Paddy" is the Slang term for an Irishman and was always considered as something close to the  " N " word for Irish people . Calling someone a Paddy could result in a trip to the Dentist !! However adopting the word as  sirt of term of endearement has made the nastier connotations almost disappear ....thus , Paddy's Day . In one country ( hint , right next to Ireland !!😎) a much more insulting term used to be "Donkey" , as in " doing the Donkey work" . A jacket commonly worn by Irish Labourers And Craftsmen ( black woolen P-Coat with leather on the shoulders ...for carrying Loads ) was called  a " Donkey Jacket" . Thankfully it is not really used any more , the jacket or the ter. 

  So if you see anyone writing Patty's Day ...remind them it's Paddy , as in " Paddy Wagon ". Another Irish contribution to the English Language ! .

    Ok just one more nugget .

  Irish Labourers were called " Navvies"  in English Slang .  The Root origin of this term is the term , "Navigator" . Referring to human ditch diggers / Tunnel diggers as Navigators sounds weird until you know that the Irish Navvies dug the Canal System ( mostly by Pick and Shovel )  which transported essential goods ( coal especially)  by Canal Barge , pulled by Horses all over Southern England and beyond . .

  I know this is far from the Kama Sutra but all that Digging and Donkey work has instilled amazing Stamina in the average Irishman !! So you see there is always a silver lining if you dig deep enough !!   LOL ...☘💚

   Not too much Green Beer ..and have a fun and safe Paddy's Day wherever you are . 

Erin Go Bragh !!☘


Pronunciation ...thought I might mention . Gaelic has some pretty weird Spelling Vs Pronunciation .  Erin go Bragh = Erin gu Braw.


Reply to Mayoman

I think I guessed most of that right except the go/gu and is that a U like “you” or “guh like huh”?

Reply to Mayoman

Happy St Paddy's Eamon, Sláinte ! ☘️ 🍻

Reply to crappycolondiaries

That would be  " Guh " ☘💚

Reply to w30bob

I was about to ask something about you referring to yourself as “big brother” and I know what you meant by it but I couldn’t think of a way to ask it on this thread without it sounding dirty 😝

Reply to J🙂

You got that right J ...a little tenderness ..a lick here and There ( you know where There is , right ? LOL  ) . A gentle touch , a Nibble etc can result in lots of fun and adventure for both { or more  LOL !! 😜  People ) . As they say gotta think outside the Box . 😈☘💚

Reply to eefyjig

It's getting Warm...Hot in here  Effi 😈☘. We're all friends here so no worries 😋

Magoo 💚


Seems like you struck a Nerve with that wonderful post !!  We are indeed Adults and we have all been laid out like JC on the ( in my case )  operating table in the shape of a Cross , just wide enough for my skinny underweight ass and arms steetched at 90 deg on 8 or 9 inch " outriggers just wide enough for the arms ...naked as the day I popped out into the world in an OR full of total strangers . Lovely  and brilliant Nurses smiling and chatting to each other  before they give me the CountDown  as if this is Normal !! Modesty and shyness  quickly fly out the window . They're looking at my  naked body as a workshop project with all the Tools laid out just waiting for the Starter's Pistol to go off and get to work . The Machine is broken and needs a little ( Major !! ) Tune up ).

   I've been in those Stirrups ...yea ladies ...Your Stirrups . One Crew going in from below , the other team going in from Above and meeting in the middle ( J-Pouch ...Anastamosis etc ) .

    After all our collective indignities I think  a little Frank and open chat about how we manage to  ( or hope we can ) get Down and get Funkyyyyy  while  Nekked with a willing actual Flesh and Blood Human ( hopefully Human LOL 😈)  should not be a challenge for all us grown ups ...Right ? 😜☘😎. So let it rip ...easily offended ? Reading is optional .

  Love and Hugs to all you Weirdos out there .

What's the Motto in Austin Texas ( the San Francisco of Texas )..."Keep Austin Weird !! "

Magoo ☘..try the Guinness at least once . In hospital in Dublin a few years ago the patient in the bed opposite me had a big grin every lunchtime . A Nurse would bring a bottle of Guinness to him and pour the perfect Pint for him as he sat in bed . Great to boost your Iron and put a smile on your face too . Used to be that after donating blood the Donor would be rewarded with a frothy bottle of Guinness , nicknamed " Mother's Milk " !!  It is consumed as a fine quality beverage from The Saint Jame's Gate Brewery in Dublin  or as Van Morrison would call it " The Saint Jame's Infirmary " ...cures anything and everything !! 😋☘😊...Magoo .

Reply to J🙂

I have heard tell of this approach but it really  is nice to know ...sink the Red ball in the Corner Pocket to finish the game . Not Required but nice for the Grand Finale 😈😜..Magoo☘

Reply to w30bob

I've always spelled it just a little bit differently I like the nickname Jewels lol

But a whole lot of folks to spell it j u l e s and that's just fine with me too

Reply to Justbreathe


Reply to dave.mccrea.278

You're still a young man 60 is the new 40 and if that last picture is any indication you have dreamy blue eyes.  Paul Newman was more than just a name.  Before that last relationship I really believed that I was never going to feel that way again.  I didn't realize how much I believed it until I didn't anymore.  Just be open.

Reply to bowsprit

Ouch I wasn't offering instruction just encouragement at least that was the intent.  But ostomy nurses are teachers so perhaps it came across that way occupational hazard I suppose.

Reply to Mabsie Moll

For real questions or facetious?

Reply to Mr.Heart2Win

Lol will do you just wait till I can do private messaging next month.  The position is a bit odd but when my husband couldn't stand to look at my stoma and was terrified of hurting me, we devised something that would work.  But I read about it in a book ages ago.  

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