INCIDENTS AND ACCIDENTS: A Poem for National Poetry Month


Although my favorite poem on this website is regarding rectal stumps. Bill just posted another nice poem:


This tale is of an ostomate
Told for those who irrigate.
For I feel it may be they
Who will envisage what I say.

Today I had an incident,
A torrid horrid accident.
Right in the middle of my flush
It all came out in one big rush.

This would not have been so bad
Except the wafer came unclad.
Now those of you who know this scene
Will know exactly what I mean.

When you're flushing pressure grows
Then stomas act like volcanoes.
The faeces always takes its course
Erupting with enormous force.

There's little I could do although
I quickly tried to stem the flow.
But a cupped hand won't stem the tide
Of all that faeces held inside.

In the first explosive wave
I knew not how it would behave.
With no way of controlling it
I was head to toe in slimy shit.

Then when I thought I'd do no more
Shit shot across the bathroom floor.
It showered like a rainy squall
And soon was spread on every wall.

Though I showered and cleaned as well
I failed to clear up all the smell.
Although it took me half the night
To try to put this whole mess right.

But now I've given up instead
And think that I'll just go to bed.

B. Withers


Roses are red

Violets are blue

Little boy blue

Blew all over his shoe

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Ode to a Short-Gutter, by Bob B

Ostomies suck, and that's a fact!

Ileostomy or're still jacked!

Losing most of my bowels ain't so bad,

Except I'm's kind of sad.

It could be worse, or so I'm told,

And I'll believe that as I grow old.

But I'm pretty sure it's a fact,

Life would be better with my ass intact.

Alas, there's a silver lining to every cloud,

And as a Short-Gutter I'm almost proud

Because on the plus side....who would think,

From now to the end my shit won't stink!


Reply to w30bob

Hello Bob.


I did enjoy your verse as it was so descriptive  and amusing (for us who know).

best wishes


Reply to xnine

Hello xnine.

Your Di-line rhyme is much appreciated. Sometimes it is harder to write what we wish to say in two lines. rather than several verses. 

Best wishes


How to Manage Emotions with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister

Robert Frost is rolling over in his grave... 

Reply to HenryM

Wow... was he an ostomate too?


Reply to w30bob

Hi Bob,

I did not know that 'short gut' has no smaell - lucky you!

As a matter of interest what length/remaining part of the A Tract produces no smaell, and what is the throughput time element from injestion to output if you do not mind me enquiring?

Best Wishes