INCIDENTS AND ACCIDENTS: A Poem for National Poetry Month

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gentlejohn

Although my favorite poem on this website is regarding rectal stumps. Bill just posted another nice poem:

INCIDENTS AND ACCIDENTS.

This tale is of an ostomate
Told for those who irrigate.
For I feel it may be they
Who will envisage what I say.

Today I had an incident,
A torrid horrid accident.
Right in the middle of my flush
It all came out in one big rush.

This would not have been so bad
Except the wafer came unclad.
Now those of you who know this scene
Will know exactly what I mean.

When you're flushing pressure grows
Then stomas act like volcanoes.
The faeces always takes its course
Erupting with enormous force.

There's little I could do although
I quickly tried to stem the flow.
But a cupped hand won't stem the tide
Of all that faeces held inside.

In the first explosive wave
I knew not how it would behave.
With no way of controlling it
I was head to toe in slimy shit.

Then when I thought I'd do no more
Shit shot across the bathroom floor.
It showered like a rainy squall
And soon was spread on every wall.

Though I showered and cleaned as well
I failed to clear up all the smell.
Although it took me half the night
To try to put this whole mess right.

But now I've given up instead
And think that I'll just go to bed.

B. Withers

xnine

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Little boy blue

Blew all over his shoe

Gray Logo for MeetAnOstoMate

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First off, this is a pretty cool site with 33,451 members. Get inside and you will see.

It's not all about ostomy. Everything is being discussed.

Many come here for advice or to give advice 🗣, others have found good friends 🤗, and there are also those who have found love 💓. Most of all, people are honest and truly care.

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w30bob

Ode to a Short-Gutter, by Bob B


Ostomies suck, and that's a fact!

Ileostomy or Colostomy.....you're still jacked!


Losing most of my bowels ain't so bad,

Except I'm lying......it's kind of sad.


It could be worse, or so I'm told,

And I'll believe that as I grow old.


But I'm pretty sure it's a fact,

Life would be better with my ass intact.


Alas, there's a silver lining to every cloud,

And as a Short-Gutter I'm almost proud


Because on the plus side....who would think,

From now to the end my shit won't stink!


;O)

Bill
Reply to w30bob

Hello Bob.

 

I did enjoy your verse as it was so descriptive  and amusing (for us who know).

best wishes

Bill 

Bill
Reply to xnine

Hello xnine.

Your Di-line rhyme is much appreciated. Sometimes it is harder to write what we wish to say in two lines. rather than several verses. 

Best wishes

Bill 

 
How to Manage Emotions with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister
HenryM

Robert Frost is rolling over in his grave... 

w30bob
Reply to HenryM

Wow... was he an ostomate too?

;O)

Jayne
Reply to w30bob

Hi Bob,

I did not know that 'short gut' has no smaell - lucky you!

As a matter of interest what length/remaining part of the A Tract produces no smaell, and what is the throughput time element from injestion to output if you do not mind me enquiring?

Best Wishes

Jayne