Hello RessaMarie.
A warm welcome to you as a new contributor to this site. I do hope you get as much from it as I have over the years.
In the past few weeks, I have found it interesting that after many years of living with people who know and largely ‘accept’ the fact that I have a stoma, there are a few times when their comments and/or reactions indicate that they are perhaps still not fully conversant with what we go through to manage this condition.
An example arose in the last few weeks when I was looking forward to going on holiday with the family. I had booked and paid for a cottage on the Isle of Mull for 2 weeks and was eagerly awaiting watching the eagles there.
Unfortunately, my stoma let me down and prolapsed, which meant a lot more hassle than I felt I could cope with in the company of others away from home and all the gadgets, facilities, and stoma ‘workshop’ I’ve built up here over many years.
At first, I could not understand why my family seemingly could not accept the fact that I could not face the prospect of coping with even more hassle away from home. However, upon much reflection, whilst they have been away, I have concluded that their reaction was probably due more to their disappointment on my behalf at having to miss out on a much-anticipated break, rather than not understanding my predicament.
It seems that sometimes our perceptions of what others are trying to communicate, get intertwined with our own thoughts, feelings, and anticipations, to create a slightly distorted picture of what those others understand and what they are trying to communicate.
‘Going places’ with a stoma ( and many other chronic conditions) is rarely as ‘easy’ (or simple) an option as when a person is fully functional and motivated to ‘go’.
Best wishes
Bill
