Mon Sep 17, 2012 11:45 am
Hi Leah, I am so sorry to read that you have been treated so badly. I know it feels like a punch in the gut, but you'll catch your breath and carry on. I must offer a different take on this, though. I know the first response from caring friends is usually to say there will come another better person for you in the future. For many years early in my marriage I wanted children and could not get my husband to go along with the idea. He always wanted to talk about it later. Around the age of 35 I decided with myself that I was no longer going to keep that wish alive. I began to search for ways to replace my desire for children with other meaningful activities. It worked and by the time I entered law school at age 39 I was quite comfortable with the idea of never being a mother and having fun being the cool aunt to my nieces and nephews. Well, wouldn't you know while still in first year courses I became pregnant! Totally unplanned and unexpected. He turned out to be the greatest blessing of my life. I did not finish law school and I am now divorced. Life is still difficult, but it's better than it would have been had I stayed married to a person who no longer loved me. My friends have all said to me many times "you'll find someone better". The best thing for me has been to let go of that idea entirely. In much the same way I did years before I got pregnant, I have consciously trained my mind on the thought that there actually may not be someone for me and that's okay. I have many things and people in my life who fill my heart with joy and show me every day how much they appreciate the fact that I am alive and still here with them. I know how heart breaking it is to be rejected by someone you've loved for a long time, but the heart is a healer and mends itself. Just let it do its job and keep your mind focused on the love you receive from better, kinder people. Bless you, Dear and peace on you. Big hugs!