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Who would choose to bring a kid into this world ?

Posted by Primeboy, on Sun Mar 12, 2017 4:05 am

When I recently saw my son performing on a world-class stage and living his personal dream, one thought sprang into my head.  Esther and I did at least one thing right.  I can't set back the clock; but, if I could, we would have had a much bigger house filled with lots of little ones.  I know Esther would agree and we would find a way to get by. I am not particularly religious, but I believe God would not throw challenges at us without giving us the strength or grace to manage everything properly.  If He doesn't have the whole world in His hands, we are in a pile of hurt...which I doubt.

   PB

Reply by mild_mannered_super_hero, on Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:22 pm

well said pb.....i`m sure you are proud{and you should be} of your son. i can admire the time and effort required to master music, so few can do it well {as i quickly learned in grade school band class}! 

Reply by Hanaleah, on Sat Mar 25, 2017 9:54 am

I agree with Bain. It could not be stated better. My sister- in - law told us they are not even how to write script of because of computers. soon there will be no books, newspapers or other hand held things, I think that is sad. But, it is the way of the future. You, also, see parents who consider computers, TV and gaming. It depends on what kind of parent you are planning to be. I don't have children for many reasons. It is a very serious job and thre are no guartees how your child will turn out. I have frinds who are wonderful people and wind up with monsters and others who have great kids. t is a game of chance.

 

Good Luck in what ever decision you make.

 

Pray for Peace, Hana

 

Reply by Immarsh, on Thu Apr 06, 2017 4:26 am

Hi PB, and friends,  

  I can feel your pride, as I read your post. 

  I answered this thread awhile back, about facing this decision ( of bringing children into the world) knowing that both my husband and I have IBD.   We were told it "wasn't hereditatry, but was familial".  That was back in the 1960's when less was known.      We talked about adoption, but decided to go ahead with having our own children.   When my oldest was 12,  he started to bleed (Crohns) and then years later  my younger son was diagnosed with UC in his twenties.   My then husband, and I were devistated, thinking that our kids were going to relive the horrors of our childhood illnesses.   But times had changed, and medical technology and medications made management of their conditions a lot easier.  Neither one has needed surgery.  Both completed school, and went on to college.   Jay ( who now lives in Australia) worked at the museum of Natural History, and was on the staff of the team who re did the hall of ocean life.   He picked the colors, the fonts, and put together the diaramas, of the eco systems of the world.   As he said, before he left for Australia, he left his handprint on the walls of the muesem ( NYC).   My older son is a 6th grade science teacher, who won teacher of the year award , last year, and who was also chosen to go to space camp, which is limited to 200 teachers from around the world....each year. 

I may have my painful memories of difficult times.....but I'm proud to have brought two wonderful human beings into the world.   They have productive lives, wonderful marriages, beautiful children, and are good people.   Like you PB.....had I known.....( the future) I would have had more.    But I'm blessed, and am always grateful.  

Reply by DonBrown1943, on Thu Apr 06, 2017 1:37 pm

Marsh, thanks for your personal notes. I didn't know about your sons and you have a right to be, as does PB, very proud of them and of yourself. I thank you for your additions to the world.

Reply by honestabe, on Fri Aug 25, 2017 6:53 pm

I thought your answer was right on the money, Bain

Reply by NJ Bain, on Mon Aug 28, 2017 12:52 pm

@honestabe,

  Thank you sir.  I had to go back and read what I wrote...lol

Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Thu Feb 08, 2018 7:34 pm

Great question. I adopted a son at birth with first wife and he has grown into a great young man with a degree in nursing. My second wife had 3 kids and we had on together. Her 3 kids , two have become very good adults while the third has mental disability. Our son together has been the light of my life. Doing his masters and playing college baseball. He gave up his shot at the draft last year to be with me for my surgery/chemo. When I woke after 10 hours surgery he was there at my side. So bringing kids into the world for me was great but I know it’s not for everyone. On note if you marry into children than have your own, it’s diffucult but to each his own. 

Reply by sculptorjohn, on Thu Oct 31, 2019 11:13 am

I won't editoralize here or talk about the coming U.S. presidential election, but in case nobody has noticed, men with atom bombs are ready to kill us all. Just itching for an excuse, in fact. That ought to be eouugh to give anybody pause.

Axl
Reply by Axl, on Sat Feb 15, 2020 6:29 am
NJ Bain wrote:

  That's a loaded question.  I hope my answers are entertaining at least.

  The idea of bringing a child into the world as it is, has many pro's and con's.  Technology certainly makes many things much easier than they were, say 50 or more years ago.  Everything like diapers, baby monitors, medical care, child car seats, etc, etc.  But at the same time, cell phones, tablets, online gaming and social media are turning our children into illiterate, real life (offline) unsocial idiots.  Not all of them, but a lot of them.

  Our children are generation NOW.  They are constantly bombarded by media telling them how to look or feel, instant bullying by social media when it used to be limited to the school yard, access to pornography even though they are too young to comprehend or understand what they are seeing.  They get instant gratification from Facebook posts, tweets, snapchat and skype and if they don't get that instant gratification, they have the attention span of a gnat.

  Each generation will have this same debate, speaking of "When I was your age, I had to walk to school, uphill, both ways in 2 feet of snow!  I didn't have a fancy cellphone or car to take me and I had pack my own lunch!  We didn't have Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts or food stores open 24/7!  If you didn't eat what was on your plate, you went hungry!"

  Most children of this generation will not have to work hard to do anything, or have to hunt and gather food with their parents.  Food is in abundance more than it has ever been.

  It comes down to how the parent/s are raising them.  Parents are not raising their children with the same values most of us were raised with.  Children today are taught that if a parent punishes their children with a belt for doing something wrong, that it's abuse and child services should get involved.  That little league football doesn't keep score anymore because they want every kid to feel like he/she is a winner.  Children are not learning consequenses, responsibility or how to be competitive; to strive to do better in life.

  We have more younger, single parents than ever bringing children into this world that don't know how to raise a child.  We have parents having children just to milk the system for free money and benifits so they don't have to contribute to society because they feel entitled.  "Someone has to pay for my kids to eat, it might as well be Mr. and Mrs. John Q. Taxpayer."  and then have the audacity to think it's owed to them and free!

  And then, there are some parents, not many, who raise their children to be responsible.  To be a better person and treat others with compassion and kindness.  That dicipline them properly and then explain to the child why they have to be diciplined.  To make the child appreciate and understand things in life that so many others take for granted.  Parents that actually love their children.

  Long winded, I know but I could go on and on.  I would like to bring a child into this world with all of it's pro's and con's.  I would like to think I have the mettle to such a challenge to raise a child of intelligence and integrity.  But who knows?  I may be talking out of my arse again.

  To be continued...

Bain

 

Couldn't have said that better myself  .... and for the record you would like my kids.

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