I did not have a proctectomy. My procedure was a total colectomy, which is removal of my colon and rectum, so for the rectum part, I think it is essentially the same. My experience is that the anal wound took a long time to heal, probably on the order of 3-4 years. I never had aspiration or cauterization, but I did have a couple of procedures to make sure there was not an open passageway (basically inserting dye to see how far it went via a scan or xray). My doctor explained that the long healing time is due to granulation, which is basically making new skin from the base of the wound, and it kind of has to fill in a gap. If you think about a slice cut that has been stitched, the outer layers have been stitched tight and start to grow together, so there is no gap to fill in. Because of that, an external surgical site actually heals pretty quickly. In my case and probably yours, there is a gap where the skin needs to grow in from the base and fill in the gap. This granulated skin is very tender, so when the inside of your cheeks rub together, the new skin tends to re-open. That's not necessarily terrible, but it means it can take a very long time to heal, and during that process, it can ooze fluid or blood. For me it is also an area where sweat can collect, so it is never really inherently dry.
The answer for me was to pack it as tightly as possible with sterile gauze. If it is really bad and oozing, such packing, at least initially, is best done by the doctor. Of course most of the time you need to do it yourself, so do the best you can. If it is packed extremely tightly by the doctor, you might be able to leave it in for a day or two, maybe longer. When you do it, you'll want to change it when it becomes wet, and initially that will likely be several times a day. Take a 4x4 pad, tear off a strip, and roll it so that it is the diameter of a pencil or a little smaller. Grabbing the ends and thinking about the motion for flossing your teeth, run it in as far as you can between your cheeks, and then push it in from the middle even farther, getting it packed in as tightly as you can. As time goes by there will be less drainage and you will need to change less often and will be able to use less gauze. I am fully healed (my operation was 9 years ago), but I still use this method with a tiny bit of gauze and change it every morning. If I don't do that, I can still get a little tenderness after a day ot two.
It's really different than any other wound healing because it takes so long. Be patient. Try the gauze, and hang in there. The fact that it is not healed 8-9 months later is not surprising. At some point you'll feel like you turned the corner and it is really getting better. I'm sure it sounds painful to you, but I can even ride a bike now with no pain.