Lack Of Interest From A Spouse In Being Intimate Post-ostomy Surgery

Addressing a lack of interest from a spouse in being intimate after one partner undergoes ostomy surgery can be a delicate issue, but it's not insurmountable. Understanding, patience, and open communication are key elements in navigating this challenge and can help rekindle intimacy.

Understanding the Underlying Issues
It's important to recognize that a spouse's lack of interest may stem from various concerns or misunderstandings about the ostomy. They might worry about causing pain or discomfort, or they might be unsure about how the ostomy affects sexual activity. Some might also struggle with changes in body image and what they perceive as a new dynamic in the relationship.

Open Communication
Having an open and honest dialogue about each other's feelings is crucial. Discussing fears and insecurities can help clear up misunderstandings and provide reassurance. It's important for the spouse with the ostomy to express their own feelings about their new body and to reassure their partner that they are still the same person, desiring and capable of intimacy.

Educational Approach
Educating the spouse about the ostomy and what it means for your lifestyle can alleviate some fears. Understanding that many people with ostomies continue to have a fulfilling sex life can change perceptions and ease concerns. Consider consulting with a healthcare provider or a counselor together to discuss these issues professionally.

Rebuilding Intimacy Gradually
Rebuilding intimacy might need to start with non-sexual forms of closeness such as cuddling, kissing, or shared activities that both enjoy. These can help rebuild comfort and connection without the pressure of full sexual intercourse. Gradually reintroducing sexual activities can be done at a pace that feels comfortable for both partners.

Seek Professional Help
If the emotional and psychological barriers are significant, seeking help from a therapist can be beneficial. Couples counseling can provide a safe space to explore feelings and develop strategies to rebuild intimacy and understanding in the relationship.

Creative Adjustments
Exploring new ways to be intimate that may be more comfortable can also help. Trying different positions, times of day when the ostomy is less active, or even different locations can bring a sense of novelty and excitement back into the relationship.

Patience and Support
Patience is essential as both partners adjust to the new reality. Continuous support and affirmation of love and attraction are important. It's crucial for both partners to remember that intimacy is a significant part of a relationship but that it can take many forms, many of which can be equally satisfying.