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Update: March 2014 - After a 2012 Christmas Day incarceration of my peristomal hernia, my colostomy was reversed. Instead, my present was an ileostomy.
Good news people: My ileostomy was reversed 4 March 2014, I am no longer an ostomate. My colon is working perfectly now. Eight years of bags are history!!Good luck to you all.

One day 33 months ago, I was suddenly stricken out of the blue with diverticulitis and ensuing peritonitis. My colon exploded (actually, I think my wife slowly drilled through it over the last 25 years) and now I am an official ostomate.

By legerdemain, I nimbly change wafers and drain bags so adeptly that life as an ostomate appears to be simpler than going through a Hartmann reversal. Recently, I have gone back to swimming, bag and all, and really enjoy it.

Having gained an incredible sense of humor regarding this most shitty subject, I never cease to amuse others (and myself) with colostomy wit. My stoma thinks it funny when it goes off in the elevator filled with people. Toot toot!

Genealogy is also a hobby of mine. So far, no distant relatives have had the same experience. I guess it must have been the wife's verbal bipolar drill that slowly perforated my colon afterall.

Someone to share old bags with matching shoes. Lighten it up and have a good laugh. No used or old bags need apply.

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