Meet & talk to fellow OstoMates 20,226 members


I got my first ileostomy in 1995 after a 10-year battle with ulcerative colitis. Physically I was fine after, but I had a very difficult time with self-image problems. In 1998 I got a Barnett Continent Internal Reservoir (modified Kock pouch) and the difference in how I felt about myself was amazing!

Alas, the pouch perforated in 2009. The surgeon made an attempt to save it, but that didn't work, and it effectively became a bad ileostomy - flush stoma in the wrong place (in a crease). After a six month wait to fully heal, I got a Kock pouch at Cleveland Clinic. It had valve problems from the start, and a year later I went back for another pouch. This one lasted until June 2018, when it became abscessed. It was removed, and I am once again trying to accept life with an ileostomy. I am healthy, so the surgery was certainly a medical success, but psychologically less so.

I am contemplating getting another internal pouch (the surgeon said I have plenty of small intestine left for it), but I'm 70 and separated from my wife, so I don't have a good support network, and I haven't found a surgeon in the Chicago area who will do one.

For now, I am on a couple of dating sites, but I have already been rejected by three women when I explained the ileostomy to them.

Beyond the ileostomy (please don't let that define me!) I am retired and loving it! I am a gentleman, but I can be opinionated, contrarian, and often outspoken, though I try to do so politely. I read voraciously and widely. I love music and have very eclectic tastes.

I enjoy all things mechanical and technical. I currently have about 200 mechanical and electric clocks of all types and vintages, in various states of repair (but mostly broken). I have a metal lathe and a milling machine, and the usual collection of woodworking tools, used mostly to make chips and sawdust, but I have a good time doing so.

I like going out for dinner, concerts, local festivals, and plays, but it is also nice to stay home and watch a movie. I can have a delightful time at antique stores or flea markets, and enjoy road trips to wherever.
Other Members
f, 68
Looking for support in getting through the early post-op period following my colectomy by...
Colorado, United States
f, 68
I am retired from a major insurance company after 43 years. have been retired two years i...
Oklahoma, United States
f, 68
...I would love to meet a man who can understand what life is like for an ostomate. Dating...
New Jersey, United States
f, 74
Looking for advice and support following my operation. I am interested in gardening, the...
United Kingdom
f, 76
Looking for a Long Term Relationship. Attractive, very outgoing personality,love to travel...
Texas, United States
Currently online: 27    
12 members & 15 visitors
dina (f)
Jabid (m)
Sun (f)
w30bob (m)