MeetAnOstoMate
Peer Advice | Understanding | Relationships
Trusted by 31,167 members
bob.hewson
member
About
I was born and bread in Cronulla, just south of Sydney, I served in Vietnam in 1971/72 and was injured. On my return I married a girl with four children and we had none of our own. After a wonderful 30 years together she suffered the last few with lung cancer and died after a last holiday of two weeks in Cairns that the doctors were not happy with her taking.A short time later I went to Hong Kong where I stayed with a an Australian friend, his house keeper was an attractive Filipina and after some time we went to the Philippines where we now live with our son who was born 26 March 2009 just 10 months after our marriage.
I was told I had a kidney stone after many xrays and scans, after four months of major bleeding I was told the the shadow in my bladder may need further looking at. I was on a plane back to Australia within a week and my bladder was removed shortly after. I was later told that the cancer was ready to escape the bladder and spread and any further delay would have been very serious. My wife and son were able to get a visa and be with me in Australia for the operation, but only just. They were granted their visas 15 minutes after the Australian embassy closed in Manila as the staff stayed back to help her. It only cost AU$30 to bring my son to Australia, but as he turned 2 on the flight it cost $500 to fly him home.
My wife is the one to clean and replace my flange and was very patient waiting for our first attempt at a sexual relationship that failed as did ever attempt after. Just because I can not \"raise for the occasion\" that has become just a minor situation in our sexual relationship. Maybe after an implant I will have more success but while we would like to be more \"normal\" we still manage to achieve our goals.
It is now over five months and there have been many problems learning that you need to close valves to stop them emptying as well as the best way to clean and apply a new flange, etc. But nothing as bad as it was before the operation or what the cancer would have caused if not caught when it was.
At 62+ I have no idea how long I have left but I intend to make it the best time I can for not only me but my wife and son.
I have returned to Australia I don\'t trust the doctors in the Philippines. My urologist had trouble seeing my cancer on the scan from there but it was very clear on the Australian scan. My wife will be joining me as soon as everything is settled in the Philippines.
I am not happy with my lot, but I will make myself and all around me as happy as we can be under the circumstances. When I look at what could have been if we delayed any longer, things are very good now.
If you got this far, thank you for your time
Bob
I was married for over 30 years until my wife died of lung cancer. At 59 I remarried and my wife fell pregnant, now at 63 I have a 2 year old boy and have never been happier.
We lived in a rural area of the Philippines. I went to Australia to have my bladder, prostrate and lymph nodes removed, and went back to the Philippines now I had to return full time to Australia for continued cancer treatment.
Connect with other members
m, 65
Retired Teacher/Coach
Wouldn't mind meeting other people with ostomy
Texas, United States
f, 52
Part of the permanent colostomy club!
Less than a yearinto this un...
Virginia, United States
m, 65
Have a Colostomy. Just like to read stories and experiences of oth...
California, United States
