Now on the other hand, you're always going to find people- no matter who they are, how old they are, where they're from- who are going to have a problem with it. The only problem is, you can't always tell who these people are when you first meet them. My ex (who I thought was lovely, stood by me through my temporary ileostomy and all my problems) ran off when he said he couldn't cope with me having the bag for the rest of my life (cry me a river it's me who has to put up with it being stuck on me!!). I usually find the people with Stoma Stigma are the fickle people who haven't had to put up with any difficulties or tribulations in their lives.
Thanks so much for posting this story. It brought a smile to my face when you related the reactions of the nurses. A ‘sigh’ and “Thank god” when you told then you could do the change for yourself. If that’s not implying stoma-stigma I don’t know what is.
I also loved the comparison with pulling out a boob if someone might be interested. I also appreciated the concept of proving stuff to yourself
. That seems to be part of the important process of coming to terms with what you’ve got and not stigmatising yourself for it. A truly inspirational story for any newcomers to the site and an important reminder to everyone else. I feel sure you have a few more anecdotes lurking in that history. Perhaps you could share those as well when your ready.
Best wishes Bill
Thanmks for your post. Your ex. sounds like a classic stoma-stigma candidate. I agree that the sort of people who would qualify for such a title tend to be people who have not had to experience much in the way of problems in life. They tend therefore to be 'ignorant' and somewhat inconsiderate of the problems that others face. However, we can always learn from their mistakes and move on in life whereas I suspect that they will be repeating their errors throughout their lives.
Not long ago my niece visited and after coming out of the bathroom asked: "Why are there tic tacs on the back of the toilet?" My wife and daughter were sort of, "ummm..." not knowing what to say, but I laughed and told her they were for my bag, that somebody somewhere had decided that it would be a good idea to make our poop smell minty fresh by putting tic tacs in our bags I'm generally not backwards or embarrassed by my bag, only when lots of loud noise erupts from it in public does it embarrass me. There have been a few times when my wife and I were in serious conversation or had just ended a serious conversation and Pandora (my stoma) would have her say. I tell my wife: "Well now you know what she thinks of that." It cracks my wife up. I figure the less embarrassed I am by it the less embarrassed others will be as well, and I've got a sense of humor about it. If people are put off or embarrassed by my bag they can just kiss my stoma
In the spirit of 'constructive conversations' the next (2nd) question would be 'WHO IS RELEVANT TO STOMA STIGMA'.
Please feel free to put one word answers if you want (whatever comes to mind) as this might enable people to be impulsive without necessarily having to tell us the whole story. However, if you want to fill in the details this would always be welcome.