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Losing My Insurance Soon

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Posted by blueeyes52, on Wed May 02, 2012 12:58 am
I'm not sure what to do
My husband is divorcing me because i had to have my colon removed
last year on 3-9-11. I'm so worried i am on his insurance and when the
divorce is final i will lose my insurance i don't know how i would get all
of my supplies wafers,bags,powder "etc
When i order its for 3 months at a time i dont pay nothing im a 100%
coverd

Please
Can anyone give me any ideas!!!!
         Thanks
            Cindy
 
Reply by Primeboy, on Wed May 02, 2012 2:49 am
                                 
blueeyes52 wrote:
My husband is divorcing me because i had to have my colon removed
last year on 3-9-11.


Maybe you should have chosen a more convenient date for your surgery. Seriously, you need a lawyer, preferably a pirahna, to ensure you remain under his medical coverage as part of your settlement. Don't give up the ship in the interests of a friendly, uncontested divorce that ends up leaving you a pauper. Any decent judge should recognize your medical needs as a priority.   PB
 
Reply by DH, on Wed May 02, 2012 8:33 pm
Your husband sounds like a jerk. It's unfortunate that you may loose your insurance.But at least you will be rid of that S.O.B.
 
Reply by notexpectingthis, on Wed May 02, 2012 9:04 pm
Please pack a used preferably still full bag in the last box he leaves the house with. For all of us!!!! Talk to your ostomy nurse, or if you don't have one, go to the local hospital & find one!!!!! She may have donated supplies there that you con use. Also I have seen a few people on here offering to ship things they have left over for free to those who need them. Your life is going to be SO much fuller without this "man".
 
Reply by southerngal, on Wed May 02, 2012 9:13 pm
Please take Primeboy's advice.  See a lawyer immediately.  Many years ago, I married a wife beater (didn't know it at the time).  After 3 years and a baby I was desperate to get away.  Since I was afraid of him I went against my lawyer's advice and didn't ask for anything.  That was a big mistake.  I worked 2 jobs and it took me years to become financially stable.  I could never make up to my son the time I spent working vs being at home with him.

My situation may seem very different from yours.  The bottom line is that you need to turn this problem over to a lawyer and let him represent you.

DH is also right.  Your husband sounds like a jerk.
 
Reply by Past Member, on Thu May 03, 2012 3:58 pm
I have lots of supplies - had the reversal a few months ago. You're welcome to them should you get to that point. I've held onto them to give to someone who doesn't have insurance.

Craigslist and Ebay are godsends in this situation. I'm uninsured and had to have an emergency colostomy out of the blue. I started writing a bunch of stuff about the DIY approach (Didn't cut corners - I'm really squeamish. I think I actually improved upon some stuff!) but I'm not sure if that's the kind of advice you're looking for.
 
Reply by bag_n_drag, on Thu May 03, 2012 4:22 pm
                                 
southerngal wrote:
Please take Primeboy's advice.  See a lawyer immediately.  Many years ago, I married a wife beater (didn't know it at the time).  After 3 years and a baby I was desperate to get away.  Since I was afraid of him I went against my lawyer's advice and didn't ask for anything.  That was a big mistake.  I worked 2 jobs and it took me years to become financially stable.  I could never make up to my son the time I spent working vs being at home with him.

My situation may seem very different from yours.  The bottom line is that you need to turn this problem over to a lawyer and let him represent you.

DH is also right.  Your husband sounds like a jerk.


Ditto, too.
I also married an abusive guy many years ago and stayed with him for over 20 years......at the 10 year mark I decided that I would devise a plan to leave and it took me 10 more years to actually execute said plan....I had to work and go to school at night to finally become financially stable enough to support myself and my daughter....and even tho I really missed out on some of the time I could have spent with her, I don't regret taking steps to get to the point that I COULD leave and make it on my own!
Don't rationalize his behavior....if he is leaving you solely because you have no colon then he is a jerk-o-potamus and you deserve better!
Btw....I also have lots of extra bags and wafers left from my reversal.....I am also holding on to for someone without insurance.

Darla
 
Reply by natosh, on Fri May 04, 2012 11:22 am
check with convatec , they might help you with supplies, they have me in the past
 
Reply by Immarsh, on Mon May 07, 2012 12:51 pm
Hi,
My name is Marsha, and I was going to post to the site, as well as ssend you a personal message.  
When my husband and I divorced after 24 1/2 years of marriage, I was in school, and taking care of our two kids  who both had IBD  One has Ulcerative Colitis & the other had Crohns. Once divorced, state laws required that I could not remain on my husbands medical plan, and so had to take out my own.  Because I was still in school, I was not employed and so didn't have income or insurance. He Was required to pay for my health insurance for 18 months after the divorce.
You need to have a lawyer put that provision into your divorce agreement, and if possible, even have an account created and dispersed through the court system.  In my experiences "agreements" are not worth the paper it's printed on, so unless it's monitored by the court, there's no guarantee that you will get the money for insurance, without having to take your ex husband back to court.
Best of luck to you.  You will adjust and be happier on your own, but it takes time.  Feel free to write if you have any questions.  
Marsha
 
Reply by jenepooh, on Mon May 07, 2012 1:23 pm
First off let me just say that I'm really sorry you're having to go through all of this. Sad Looks like you could use some hugs.
 
Reply by Pinky, on Mon May 07, 2012 2:01 pm
Hi blueeyes - Been there, done that.  Make sure as part of your divorce agreement that your spouse has to make the COBRA payments that will keep you on his insurance!

I was able to stay on my ex-spouse's insurance until I qualified for Medicare.  He had to pay the entire premium for me every month, which was about $500 back in 2004-2005.

Has he already served you with the divorce papers?  If not and you live in a state that allows it I highly recommend mediation rather than going through the divorce court system, especially if children are involved.  Considering what an SOB my spouse was in his behavior, when it came to sitting down in front of the mediator he became very reasonable because he didn't want to look like an a**hole in front of her!  I got pretty fair compensation, considering. And we made all our own agreements, which the mediator took to the judge and got approved.  In my condition then, I never would have been able to go through a court process.

That's only if he's at all a reasonable human being.  If not, get an aggressive lawyer to take everything he's got!  You are the one the judge will likely sympathize with.
 
Reply by rey21, on Mon May 07, 2012 3:57 pm
Another side effect of our shared condition. My wife is not leaving me but she has not accepted my alteration. Hates any mention of it. See me with my pouch on after taking a shower or going to bed, especially when the pouch has stuff in it is hard for her to see. I feel like i'm a freak to her. I'm not upset with her, just sad that she has not accepted it. Sometimes I think leaving would be best for us both. For me, I know my ostomy would not be the only reason she would not be happy with me, it just is one more thing that retard our relationship. All relationships are not perfect and this major physical change is a big one that you can't cover-up.

Besides the possibly of having your health insurance costs up and not being a couple, leaving someone that can't handle the change that has happened may be for the best don't you think?

If your medical condition is truly the only reason your hubby wants out, it may be best put yourself in his shoes, not that I want to defend his position. I've had over two years of experiencing many of my family member really think about my change. But the one that have to live with me are the only ones whose opinion count.

This change as we've seen, affect those around you in different ways and you have discovered, unfortunately, that your hubby is not capable of honoring "in sickness and health'.

Instead of fighting this one out, be realistic and ask him for the support, monetary/materially, need. Tell him that you understand it must be difficult for him after your condition came into play. I would hope that he would have some apathy for you and would agree to not just kick you while your down.

All the best  as you move forward,

Ron
 
Reply by Pilgrim, on Mon May 07, 2012 5:51 pm
Ron (rey 21) is the only person who appears to understand reason here and says it much more eliquant then I would. For someone to make a statement that their spouse left solely cause of their ostomy and for those who respond to these statements as "He's a Jerk" are really in denial.
Of course get a lawyer involved as it comes to your medical needs after he leaves and also contact www.ostogroup.org for very cheap ostomy supplies.
Kevin
 
Reply by shell, on Mon May 07, 2012 6:43 pm
I myself, have been in your situation.  I ended up not divorcing my ex, just legally separating.  If you do this, you can still be covered on his insurance, if he agrees to do so.  I unfortunately "negotiated" giving up his retirement (which I was entitled to), in exchange for the insurance.  I feel health insurance is far more important than anything else, considering your situation.  And truthfully, he ends up making out in the end.  The amount he pays for you to be on his insurance is probably minimal, compared to other things he may be obligated to pay.  Try talking to a lawyer or going with a "mediator" -it's alot cheaper.  That way, the two of you can work things out amicably, if that is possible....  Good Luck!  Shell-
 
Reply by Juuust_Jim, on Tue May 08, 2012 1:47 am
I understand you worry -I have just a very limited insurance plan that only applies to office?Dr visits -doesnt cover supplies, so I've been stuck for the past 6 yrs paying 50 buck for a box of 5 one-piece pouches, and that lasts me 5 to 6 weeks :p
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