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Liberal Jokes

Posted: Sun Sep 06, 2009 12:55 pm
in the interest of fairness...a few jokes for our liberal members
enjoy!!!!!

Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.

Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?
A: You don't. They're born that way.

Q: Why is it good to have a Democrat passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted.

A Democrat died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.

"Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"

Q: How do you keep a Democrat busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.

Q: What do you call a Democrat with an IQ of 130?
A: A foursome

Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.

Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
A: A whine cellar.

Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Democrats.

Q: What is foreplay for a Democrat?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.

Q: What is the Democrat doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: Why did the Liberal have blisters on his lips?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs
.
Q: Why do Liberals work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

A Democrat found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican.

Q: What the difference between a Democrat and the rear end of a horse?
A: I don't know either.

Q: How is a Liberal different from a sewer rat?
A: Some people actually like sewer rats.

Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark.

Q: Why do so many Liberals live in L.A.?
A: Itís the only city that is easy enough for them to spell.

Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A Democrat parade.

Q: What is it called when a Liberal blows in another Liberalís ear?
A: Data transfer.

Q: Why don't they let Liberals swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.

Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a Democrat.

Q: What's the difference between a Liberal and a sack of manure?
A: The sack.

Q: What's the definition of a Democrat running for Congress for the first time?
A: A mouse trying to become a rat.

Q: What's the difference between God and a Democrat?
A: God knows He's not a Democrat.


Posted: Sun Sep 06, 2009 4:38 pm
Hey M-M-S-H
I love your humor!
eddie
  Past Member
Posted: Sun Sep 06, 2009 7:06 pm
That was great!!

Living here in Massachusetts, I can use those jokes all day long Smile
  Past Member
Posted: Sun Sep 06, 2009 10:05 pm
Love the remarks, where do you get your material from? or is it just part of your
southern charm.....thanks for the chuckles......
  Past Member
Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 3:34 pm
well welcome sally on your first post. normally i get my material from my rather large brain, its slightly smaller than my ego...but i confess i did a google on these and copy & paste.
Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 5:54 pm
Very funny. A politician is usually good at one thing and that is getting elected. Government never does anything well. Politicians don't understand the bad consequences of good intentions. Example: cash for clunkers. Our founding fathers were correct in fearing a strong central government.
tp
  Past Member
Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 7:21 pm
                                 
thomas40 wrote:
Very funny. A politician is usually good at one thing and that is getting elected. Government never does anything well. Politicians don't understand the bad consequences of good intentions. Example: cash for clunkers. Our founding fathers were correct in fearing a strong central government.
tp


well said, and god bless you for sayin it  
  Past Member
Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 7:54 pm
                                 
mild_mannered_super_hero wrote:
                                 
thomas40 wrote:
Very funny. A politician is usually good at one thing and that is getting elected. Government never does anything well. Politicians don't understand the bad consequences of good intentions. Example: cash for clunkers. Our founding fathers were correct in fearing a strong central government.
tp


well said, and god bless you for sayin it  



+1
Posted: Sat Sep 26, 2009 4:47 pm
Loved your sense of humor - it made me lol. It made my day.
Is it ok if a use the liberal joke on my facebook/ myspace.  always looking for good jokes -- Thanks
  Past Member
Posted: Sat Sep 26, 2009 6:12 pm
                                 
MMB wrote:

Is it ok if a use the liberal joke on my facebook/ myspace.  



young lady you have my permission as well as my blessings.....
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