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Liberal jokes

Past Member
Posted by Past Member, on Sun Sep 06, 2009 12:55 pm
in the interest of fairness...a few jokes for our liberal members
enjoy!!!!!

Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.

Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?
A: You don't. They're born that way.

Q: Why is it good to have a Democrat passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted.

A Democrat died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.

"Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"

Q: How do you keep a Democrat busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.

Q: What do you call a Democrat with an IQ of 130?
A: A foursome

Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.

Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
A: A whine cellar.

Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Democrats.

Q: What is foreplay for a Democrat?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.

Q: What is the Democrat doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: Why did the Liberal have blisters on his lips?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs
.
Q: Why do Liberals work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

A Democrat found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican.

Q: What the difference between a Democrat and the rear end of a horse?
A: I don't know either.

Q: How is a Liberal different from a sewer rat?
A: Some people actually like sewer rats.

Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark.

Q: Why do so many Liberals live in L.A.?
A: It's the only city that is easy enough for them to spell.

Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A Democrat parade.

Q: What is it called when a Liberal blows in another Liberal's ear?
A: Data transfer.

Q: Why don't they let Liberals swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.

Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a Democrat.

Q: What's the difference between a Liberal and a sack of manure?
A: The sack.

Q: What's the definition of a Democrat running for Congress for the first time?
A: A mouse trying to become a rat.

Q: What's the difference between God and a Democrat?
A: God knows He's not a Democrat.


Reply by eddie, on Sun Sep 06, 2009 4:38 pm
Hey M-M-S-H
I love your humor!
eddie
Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Sun Sep 06, 2009 7:06 pm
That was great!!

Living here in Massachusetts, I can use those jokes all day long Smile
Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Sun Sep 06, 2009 10:05 pm
Love the remarks, where do you get your material from? or is it just part of your
southern charm.....thanks for the chuckles......
Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Mon Sep 07, 2009 3:34 pm
well welcome sally on your first post. normally i get my material from my rather large brain, its slightly smaller than my ego...but i confess i did a google on these and copy & paste.
Reply by thomas40, on Mon Sep 07, 2009 5:54 pm
Very funny. A politician is usually good at one thing and that is getting elected. Government never does anything well. Politicians don't understand the bad consequences of good intentions. Example: cash for clunkers. Our founding fathers were correct in fearing a strong central government.
tp
Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Mon Sep 07, 2009 7:21 pm
                                 
thomas40 wrote:
Very funny. A politician is usually good at one thing and that is getting elected. Government never does anything well. Politicians don't understand the bad consequences of good intentions. Example: cash for clunkers. Our founding fathers were correct in fearing a strong central government.
tp


well said, and god bless you for sayin it  
Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Mon Sep 07, 2009 7:54 pm
                                 
mild_mannered_super_hero wrote:
                                 
thomas40 wrote:
Very funny. A politician is usually good at one thing and that is getting elected. Government never does anything well. Politicians don't understand the bad consequences of good intentions. Example: cash for clunkers. Our founding fathers were correct in fearing a strong central government.
tp


well said, and god bless you for sayin it  



+1
MMB
Reply by MMB, on Sat Sep 26, 2009 4:47 pm
Loved your sense of humor - it made me lol. It made my day.
Is it ok if a use the liberal joke on my facebook/ myspace.  always looking for good jokes -- Thanks
Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Sat Sep 26, 2009 6:12 pm
                                 
MMB wrote:

Is it ok if a use the liberal joke on my facebook/ myspace.  



young lady you have my permission as well as my blessings.....
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