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Noone talks to me..... destined to be single

Welcome to MeetAnOstoMate
17,271 Members
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:10 pm

Noone talks to me at all.

 

I have a feeling ill be single for life....

I came on here as had no luck meeting anyone near me and now nothing on here...

I give up

 

 

#its a rant 

 

I dont need bad advice or any to make me feel crap



Last edited by Mumof1 on Sat Apr 15, 2017 2:51 pm; edited 1 time in total
Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:54 pm

Hello and welcome to MAO.  You came to the right place to meet others traveling a similar path.  I would recommend seeking out local support groups in your area....Although I am not looking for a relationship, new friendships are always great.  Since my surgery, I have met many wonderful ostomates, each with their own story to share.  I find the groups very helpful and fun.  Take care and good luck to you.  And, don't forget to keep posting your questions.  Sincerely, LadyHope

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 3:45 pm

Hi Mumof1,

Why would you want to give up? The 1 in your name tells me you have so much to be thankful for as well as your life. Live life for you and the 1 you are the Mum of. As log as you are a Mum you are never alone. But ....

We're here if you need to chat, vent or hang out.

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:22 pm

I just mean give up the search for a male partner.

Im greatful for my child. 

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:30 pm

Oh, okay. Well for me, I tend to find things when I stop looking. Sometimes when I know I have something and can't find it I just forget about it for the time being and sure enough, when I'm not looking there it appears!

I'm sure your greatful for your child, I just wanted to remind you that this is the person you might want to build your world around, the rest will fall into place.

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:38 pm

Ive been a single mum since she was born. I have ony started looking recently. Shes almost 2 now

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:50 pm

Well I hope you find what your heart desires.

Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2017 2:08 pm

Being a single parent of a pre-school child is a tough job at the best of times - of course you love them to bits, but they are so exhausting that you haven't energy left for much else, and you can feel you are going crazy for lack of sensible adult conversation! Add to that the 'complication' which unites us on here, and I can understand you feeling discouraged.

I'm sorry I have no smart answers to offer - I just wanted to offer sympathy, and echo the thought that 'success' is more likely when you aren't actually trying too hard - deep down you know you are better off as you are than hooking a 'wrong 'un'!

In the meantime, welcome to this community - we hope you find support here for at least one aspect of your life, and realise that in this, at least, you are not alone.         Chris

Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2017 3:35 pm

IF you are meant to have a partner you will find him when least expecting -- that is often because you push too hard and no one wants a hanger -on.

 

Enjoy your life as it is and leayn to love what gifts you already have.  Then you will attract the right person because it is the real you.  Your ostomy has nothing to do with it. 

 

Do you have a church group, library group, sporting interest?  Find or search decent places to meet othere family oriented types...

Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2017 8:22 pm

I know everyone says it will happen when you least expect it, but it really is true! For years I flopped at the dating scene. I finally looked at my life and was totally disgusted that I had basically put it on hold while waiting for my "Prince Charming" to come. I decided to change my life dramatically - I took a new class every 6 months to learn something different I hadn't considered before. I learned to scuba dive, to make stained glass, and to play the keyboard. I bought a house - just for me! I took mini-vacations by myself, exploring various plantation houses and Bed and Breakfast places (I lived in Louisiana at the time). Then my sister-in-law introduced me to a guy she knew.

I scuba dived, and he didn't swim. He had a private pilot's license, and I got airsick. Fortunately, we also enjoyed doing some of the same things, too - hiking, camping, exploring national parks. We dated for 5 years before we got married, but we have now been together for over 25 years, with 2 kids 21 and almost 23 years old. We've had good times and tough times, as any marriage does, but I can not imagine my life now without him. And he only appeared after I decided not to put my life on hold any more, and get out and live it! Or maybe it was that mindset that allowed me to really see the gem when I ran into it - and allowed him to see a confident, active woman, not a passive "Cinderella" waiting around to be rescued from life.

So, get out and take Kindermusic classes with your child. Or join the "Baby and me" exercise class at your local health club. Or take her to the library for story time. Or find a sitter and take a pottery class for yourself. Or whatever you are interested in. Keep exploring and expanding your horizons. Before you expect it, you will run into someone you can't live without. And if you never do, that's sort of sad, but not the end of the world - you can look back upon a life well-lived, a daughter well-raised and well-loved, and a whole pallette of experiences to look back on in satisfaction.

Posted: Wed Mar 01, 2017 7:41 am

Dear Mum,

CharK60, Charlotte, here. Excellent advice given to you by each responder but I know what it's like to feel lonely. 

However when you feel that way too hard you project to others a desperate neediness that may not be very attractive. 

I believe that is why you find more dates when you're not looking. That and the fact that partners want to pursue. If it's a sure thing it's just not as interesting. 

I'm 64 and talk about meeting someone but it's just talk. I really can't imagine having to make room for  a lover because I'm so comfortable where I'm at. 

But in  my case it doesn't work out that I have lots of dates because I never leave the dang house! I sure can't complain that I can't meet anyone. 

I'm talking almost NEVER because I take care of my elderly mother so I don't even have a job to go to and meet folks. 

So I suggest you pay attention to all this great advice and RELAX! Good things are worth waiting for. 

Also, I ,notice that your preferences for people you want to meet is very narrow and limited. That surely will affect how many responses you get. 

Finally, as much as we may not like it, dating is a game and requires some acting skill. The part you want to play amongst your real ones is : happy, fun to be with, independent (maybe) and somewhat aloof. Eeyore's "nobody likes me" won't get you anywhere. 

Good luck  

Charlotte

Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2017 3:43 pm

Mumof1, I understand your loneliness. My wife and I have been married for more than 53 years, but we had some bad years in the beginning. We had been married about seven years and just had our second child. She suffered from severe post natal depression and we argued a lot because I didn't understand. Our income was very low so our arguments varied from money to jealousy. We were ready for a divorce when we both realised (independently of each other) that love is not a feeling, it is actions. How can I show my love? Only through my actions because feelings cannot be seen. When we realized that and modified our actions, the arguments stopped. Then we began to see love. We rebuilt from the beginning and made it solid and permanent. We both are blessed now in a wonderful life. This can happen to anyone if they realize actions come first, feelings follow. Keep us advised and just live the best life you can for you and your child. Happiness will show up somewhere along the way.

Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 8:17 pm

That's a great post Don! May you two continue in happiness, love and marriage!

Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 9:03 pm

Mrs. A, there is more detail about our commitment to each other in my topic Near Death Experiences. I hope you like it. 

Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 9:32 pm

I'll check it out, thanks smile.

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