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St. Paddies Day Joke

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 6:08 pm

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy'.. Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then'. Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off.. He falls flat on his face. 'Shoite' he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls
Flat on his face,'Shoite, Shoite !'
He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.

Oh no!  I'm fockin' focked,' he says.
He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside.. He takes a look up the stairs and says 'No f... way . He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to the bed'. He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face . He says 'f... It and falls into bed .

The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says . 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night ?'

Paddy says, 'I did, Jess. I was f...in' pissed. But how did you know?'

'Mick phoned .. . . You left your wheelchair at the pub.'

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 7:57 pm

Hey MMSH, that's funny as hell.  Is it a true story?

Mike

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Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 8:43 pm
iMacG5 wrote:

  Is it a true story?

Mike


mike, if it aint, it outta belaughing

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 6:36 am

*laughing hysterically*  That.....was fockin brilliant!

Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:46 am

Bahahaha! Good one!

  Past Member
Posted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 11:28 am

The first straight catheter was discovered for real by an Irish gent. He would go to the pub drink his pints wearing his Irish cap with a feather on the side.  Pinned behind the  feather was a small straight catheter.  He could drink his friends under the table. Yes, this is true not Irish folk lore. He discovered the straight catheter at its beginning.

Posted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 1:29 pm

thanks for that, I will make sure I am tied down when I go for drink or two.

Posted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 7:47 pm

It feels so dang good to laugh this hard! Thank you!!!

Posted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 7:57 pm

thanks all for the replies, so glad you enjoyed it.

Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 9:12 am

I'm Irish and I have to say that one cracked me up   !!!  By the way..the moniker "Paddy" was always considered a serious insult in modern Ireland ...a bit like "Wetback" or "Cracker" . However on Paddy's Day ....Everyone gets a " Get out of Jail Free Card " in honor of St Paddy lol !!

Going to pass that one on to many others on my list .   Thanks, I needed a laugh.

   It's an insult unless your name actually IS Paddy !!  haha !

Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 9:13 am

I'm Irish and I have to say that one cracked me up   !!!  By the way..the moniker "Paddy" was always considered a serious insult in modern Ireland ...a bit like "Wetback" or "Cracker" . However on Paddy's Day ....Everyone gets a " Get out of Jail Free Card " in honor of St Paddy lol !!

Going to pass that one on to many others on my list .   Thanks, I needed a laugh.

   It's an insult unless your name actually IS Paddy !!  haha !

Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 11:53 pm

Good one, Gerald.  Magoo, "Cead mile failte!" As another proud Narrowback, I learned long ago that no one can really insult the Irish for being Irish. There is an old saying somewhere in the Bible: "If you're lucky enough to be born Irish, you're lucky enough."  

Call me "Paddy" anytime.  

PB

Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 6:25 am

john, magoo, thanks for the replies!

Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 4:04 pm

Cead mile failte to all of you.  Not sure what it means but I think it's good.  I looked through the entire bible for PB's reference but was unable to find it.  My bible is difficult to understand.  It's in Polish.

Na zdrowie,

Mike

Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 6:03 pm

Since Ireland as a nation did not exist when the Bible was compiled, I doubt that statement is actually a quote. But I would be willing to bet that it is handwritten in the front or back of some Bibles, especially if they belong to Irish people.

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