Reply by beatrice
, on Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:47 pm
I don't want to come across as too "Pollyanna" ... but I've always been the type of person who sees a glass half full instead of half empty ... here are some thoughts. They may seem pretty simple or even trivial; but I believe that becoming ok with what we are all going through happens in small steps with us taking small postive measures.
When I get down (new perm ileostomy Dec. '09 - very real possibility I wouldn't make it back home), I just take a deep breath and think of positive things. Little things that I love and that I am lucky enough to be here to do/enjoy.
I look at my loved ones, my dog, and think "I am here". Being a nature lover, as soon as I was able to be out in a park or just touch my plants in the yard, or watch the squirrels at the feeders, I felt better.
What makes you happy? ... make sure you do those things as much as you can, have stuff you love around you. As soon as my hands stopped shaking, I took up my knitting and felt soothed. Yes, that feeling disappears when I have to empty "my damned bag" for the 7th time or I wake up during the night and have a gas filled balloon on my tummy, or not pay attention and empty my bag on the bathroom floor, but I try to get right back into a good mindframe after I flush
With your situation (lots of 'thinking' time prior to your upcoming surgery) - try not to get into a negative mindset. There is a difference between making yourself aware of what the surgery will entail, possible/probably outcomes --- and dwelling on the negative. I find it helpful to make a point to not talk
about the negatives. You know how it can get when you are with someone and suddenly you are going over all the horrible things that could happen/have happened .... STOP. Talking about negative, especially verbally, reinforces negative. Come talk about it here instead!
You are one of the 'lucky' ones who has a chance to have a reversal done. Think "LUCKY ME ... I have the opportunity to get rid of this colostomy that I am not liking". Surgery can be scary ... but it sounds like it's going to happen and you are 'choosing ' to have it done. Again, lucky you.
Lastly, if you are feeling very down - I mean depressed - and the feeling is with you all the time, not just when you are specifically thinking about your physical issue, you could be suffering from depression and maybe you could benefit from antidepressants for a short while.
Live in the moment, the past is, for the most part, a waste of time to think about (using up valueable 'present' time). Thinking about the future, IMHO, should be limited to planning and such (positive stuff). Working out complicated future scenarios in our heads is such a waste - you know, the "what if's". The future is going to happen whether we like it or not. We can and should influence some aspects; let's just recognize what is productive thinking and when all we are doing is worrying needlessly.
All this doesn't work all the time (ask me!) but I think it's worth thinking about.
Sending you hugs and wishes for a successful reversal.
p.s. I've received so much comfort, information and laughs from this Forum. Sure there are lots of sad stuff ... but it's balanced by positive and encouraging thoughts and ideas. Sure has made a difference in my day to day life.
"Everyday above ground is a good day"