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A small victory for..... ME

Posted by TimeToGrow, on Thu Sep 03, 2020 12:11 am

I finally changed clothes in the locker room at my Fire Department. It's been over 2 years; and even though I was in there alone, and I did not anticipate anyone coming in, I still did it. I'm sure most of you are light years ahead of me when it comes to how you think of your bag in a situation where you may be "seen". But for me, and how I feel and cope, I'm proud of myself.

Reply by Bill, on Thu Sep 03, 2020 2:05 am

Well done! Even after two years, there's always 'TimeToGrow'.

Best wishes

Bill

Reply by delgrl525, on Thu Sep 03, 2020 3:33 pm

Congrats on your step forward!  I'm sure lots of us are not light years ahead of you, me being one.  Before surgery I was a bit of a gym rat, there at least three times a week for two hours plus.  I can say for sure I was the fittest 67 year old in that gym.  I have not returned, the first couple of months or so understandable but after that, well, I just haven't.  Covid took care of it about six months ago, but I know my gym is re-opening some time this month.  I've been doing exercises at home and walking lots to keep fit but I do miss the gym workouts and the friends and camaraderie I'd developed.  The longer I wait the more difficult it becomes but I do believe I will get back there.  Thanks for the inspiration!

Reply by w30bob, on Fri Sep 04, 2020 12:13 am

Hi Time,

  Hey, good for you! I'm shirtless most of the time at home, as I live by myself. But it's a totally different story when there's a chance I could be seen. But I will say that as time goes on I feel myself caring less and less about being seen with a shitbag on my abs.......because this is me now and that's not going to change anytime soon. Reminds me of when I shaved my head a few years ago. I did it to support a female co-worker who lost her hair battling cancer, and was having a tough time with it. The morning after I shaved my head I was expecting all kinds of comments from my co-workers......and was shocked that by the end of the day I only got one comment from my supervisor, who looked at me briefly and said "well.....that's different". My point is I think we make a much bigger deal out of changes to our appearance than others do.  In hindsight I don't know why I thought people wouldn't be accepting of my appearance change, as I sure don't criticize people who change their appearance......for any reason. I think when you do get comfortable with others seeing your ostomy you'll come to realize most folks just don't really care......and will keep their thoughts and comments to themselves and just accept you for you. But by all means take your time getting there......you'll know when the time is right.

Regards,

Bob

Reply by Ali Canada, on Fri Sep 04, 2020 11:51 am

That was a big step - good for you!! I don't hide that I have an ostomy and am quite open about it.  Despite that, I am just not ready to make the same leap you have and it's been 3 years! We all have different comfort zones.  Good for you to step out of yours.

Reply by iMacG5, on Sat Sep 05, 2020 10:21 pm

Hi TTG.  I don't think there are any two of us who feel and cope in exactly the same way but, being in a somewhat similar situation, congratulations.  I too am proud of you.

Sincerely,

Mike

Reply by WIGirl43, on Sun Sep 06, 2020 1:37 am

That's a HUGE step. Way to go! 

Reply by Immarsh, on Mon Sep 07, 2020 3:43 am

What a great topic....Time to grow.    And that's something we all do at our own pace, including how we feel about exposing ourselves, and our ostomy.!!!   I'm Marsha, and I'm turning the clock back about 50+ years....     to a year after I had my surgery at age 15..     ( I'm now 72)    For the 4 years I was sick with  ulcerative colitis, and wanted nothing more than to be well enough, to be free of doctors, hospital stays, treatments and surgeries.    When that day finally came,    I was faced with the next step,   what risks, was I ready to take.   My mother said NO, to an extened summer travel trip to Israel.  Sigh..   She also s aid NO to skiing, since I had just gotten out of a back brace for Osteoporosis..    My friend was going to ssupport  Israeli  " camp"   here in the  US. and I desperately wanted to go ( for the summer)  or a month, which was financially out of the question.   But I was granted scholarships for a few long weekends, and off I went..   Never thinking about where I change, or group showers..   Sigh.   The ignorance, of youth..   Or is it bravery.   Still don't know.   I handled showers, by wearing a support panty, and telling everyone I had a hernia..    Bathroom first t hink in the morning, meant I missed services, and exercises,   but I had an excuse for that also.    (  Dopey me, never told the administration, or I'd have been officially excused).   Sometimes, I'd make it back to the group in time for morning  call.    The most difficult was how and where I w as going to change, when all we had  were public toilet stalls, with no sinks...     I excused myself at night ( during social activities, went to my bunk, collected my " stuff"", and a plasic bowl for water.   And there, by the light of my flashlight, and a bowl of water, I changed my appliance, to the nigh sounds of bees and other insects buzzing around...There I was,  16, and reclaiming my life, in my own  way..    I wasn't always as " brave" years later,    but I was always willing to think things out, and do what I really wanted to do...   In this life time of mine, I delived two children, knowing that I couldnt' have a c section,   I flew a round the country, in a single engine plane, no baathroom,   I swam in the dead sea, and on the great barrier reef, and walked the walll iin China., rode an elephant, in AFrica, and stood at the tip of the African continent...     Every new experience, made me braver, and more determined for the next, and in looking back,   I know that I " grew" more, than I ever would have, withough my ostomy.   But I still have white knuckle disease when I go to the dentist..    Best regards to all of you..  There's always time to grow...   Marssha...

Reply by delgrl525, on Mon Sep 07, 2020 3:10 pm
Immarsh wrote:

What a great topic....Time to grow.    And that's something we all do at our own pace, including how we feel about exposing ourselves, and our ostomy.!!!   I'm Marsha, and I'm turning the clock back about 50+ years....     to a year after I had my surgery at age 15..     ( I'm now 72)    For the 4 years I was sick with  ulcerative colitis, and wanted nothing more than to be well enough, to be free of doctors, hospital stays, treatments and surgeries.    When that day finally came,    I was faced with the next step,   what risks, was I ready to take.   My mother said NO, to an extened summer travel trip to Israel.  Sigh..   She also s aid NO to skiing, since I had just gotten out of a back brace for Osteoporosis..    My friend was going to ssupport  Israeli  " camp"   here in the  US. and I desperately wanted to go ( for the summer)  or a month, which was financially out of the question.   But I was granted scholarships for a few long weekends, and off I went..   Never thinking about where I change, or group showers..   Sigh.   The ignorance, of youth..   Or is it bravery.   Still don't know.   I handled showers, by wearing a support panty, and telling everyone I had a hernia..    Bathroom first t hink in the morning, meant I missed services, and exercises,   but I had an excuse for that also.    (  Dopey me, never told the administration, or I'd have been officially excused).   Sometimes, I'd make it back to the group in time for morning  call.    The most difficult was how and where I w as going to change, when all we had  were public toilet stalls, with no sinks...     I excused myself at night ( during social activities, went to my bunk, collected my " stuff"", and a plasic bowl for water.   And there, by the light of my flashlight, and a bowl of water, I changed my appliance, to the nigh sounds of bees and other insects buzzing around...There I was,  16, and reclaiming my life, in my own  way..    I wasn't always as " brave" years later,    but I was always willing to think things out, and do what I really wanted to do...   In this life time of mine, I delived two children, knowing that I couldnt' have a c section,   I flew a round the country, in a single engine plane, no baathroom,   I swam in the dead sea, and on the great barrier reef, and walked the walll iin China., rode an elephant, in AFrica, and stood at the tip of the African continent...     Every new experience, made me braver, and more determined for the next, and in looking back,   I know that I " grew" more, than I ever would have, withough my ostomy.   But I still have white knuckle disease when I go to the dentist..    Best regards to all of you..  There's always time to grow...   Marssha...

What an inspiring post!  Thanks for that.

 

Regards,

Terry

Reply by GrannyDeb , on Wed Sep 16, 2020 9:41 pm

Woohoo,  awesome sauce  hopefully I'll follow your lead and learn to be more confident.....

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