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Comfortable

Thu Oct 14, 2021 12:38 pm
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Hello everyone. Im from sweden, any other from here?

I got my ostomy almost exactly a year ago. I havent had any bigger problems physical yet, but mentally was hard this first summer when i went to the beach with my girlfriend and kids. Im not yet comfortable with showing "the bag" in public. How long did it take for you guys to accept it? Sorry of my english isnt top notch ūü§ď

These are the top 5 issues ostomates face:

1. Dating and relationships
2. Concealing the pouch
3. Foods to eat and avoid
4. Losing or gaining weight
5. Pouch ballooning

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Thu Oct 14, 2021 1:26 pm

Hello  nicco and welcome to this site. 

It is often quite hard at first to adjust to having a stoma and some people have reported that thy never really achieve that state of mind.  However, many others say that they have come to terms with it and are quite happy that their stomas have come to the rescue with other problems that they had before. You ask how long it took to accept it, Well! the answer lies in the above, it depends on the individual and their circumstances. I took a long time (years) to decide whether or not to go down this route, so I did all my mental adjusting beforehand. Other people go into hospital with one thing and come out with a stoma and it is a big surprise for them. Then, it must be much more difficult to adjust quickly after the event. 

One year in a lifetime doesn't seem that long to adjust to what is often a 'traumatic' event. However, there are some things that you can do to work your way through these early phases and help with the mental and emotional side of things. 

I found that a stimulating distraction does the trick. it doesn't really matter what that distraction is, but in my case it was writing rhyming verse.  If you want to see how the hassles and angst of having a stoma  is played out  in rhyme, then I would recommend you have a browse through some of my rhymes. While you are doing that, take note of the dates on the rhymes and you will see that they are spread over many years. 

I feel sure that you will get a few more replies to your question so I will leav it there.

Note: I think your grasp of the English language is more than adequate.

Best wishes

Bill

Thu Oct 14, 2021 2:49 pm

I was in Sweden as a student many years ago. I will try and help. You can use a wrap, I use a tummy sleeve you get them at maternity shops. Or get a bag cover. Or decorate it with duct tape or stickers. Try utube for ideas. I do not think l will ever let my bag hang out, it would be like being in my underware. Take care.

Thu Oct 14, 2021 4:08 pm

Hi Nicco and welcome to the site.  Mentally or emotionally adjusting to your ostomy really does vary from person to person.  To use myself as an example, for instance, I've had my ostomy for just short of two years and although pre-ostomy, swimming was one of my favourite things, I have not been in a swimsuit yet.  Mind you, I did spend nearly one year with two ostomies, one on each side, and I felt like there was just a little too much to deal with to try.  I am now down to just one stoma, and I've made a promise to myself that I will swim again in the new year.  I know there are wraps and undergarments that will flatten my profile, it's more about just taking that first step.  I guess it is easier for women as far as hiding your appliance, but I'm sure there are ways for men as well.  I agree with Xnine that having my appliance on the outside is not something I would ever be comfortable with.  I know there are women who wear two piece swimsuits with their appliances fully on display.  I applaud them, but it's just not for me.

I agree with Bill, your English is completely adequate, in fact, I dare say, better than some who claim it as their first language! My husband and I spent ten days in Sweden just over two years ago.  Beautiful country, loved Stockholm, Gotenborg and Malmo and the gorgeous coastline between the two.

Terry

Fri Oct 15, 2021 2:12 am

Hi Nicco

Welcome to the site you will find a answer to just about anything you want to know if not do what you have done and ask you will always get a good variety of answers. The beauty of this site is were the experts not the Dr or surgeon when it comes to exploring issues with the stoma ect. I too am coming up to one year having my stoma. Not been a easy ride but with support from these wonderful people I'm a better person and have found a lot of stuff on here. Going back to your question about showing on the beach,all I can say is what's the worse that can happen? Yeah some might stare but are you ever going to see them again no. You could always get a pouch cover with something funny on like eyes ūüĎÄ looking back at them. Remember people come in all different shapes sizes, colours ect I mean it would be pretty boring if we were all the same right. If you still struggling then I'm sure you can get the high waisted shorts that's been the rage recently. There is also the discussion board on the site gives advice/tips for beach and swim wear. Good luck ūü§ě and let us know how you get on XX

Fri Oct 15, 2021 12:38 pm

Hi everyone,

 

Thank you so much for your warm and honest answers. I felt quite alone since my operation, since i dont know anyone else with a stoma. Im very open with it at work, but more in a comic sense. I dont want others to feel uncomfortable and dont think they can ask me questions about my situation. But its really not the same as talking to others in the same situation. 
My operation wasnt planned, ive been quite sick the last couple years but fairly recovered everytime, except the last time when the meds at hospital didnt work and i was hurried to operation. But i had it in mind that next time get that sick, ill probably Will have to get that operation done. They took my large bowel out and told me its didnt look nice, i couldnt live on with it.

Im not recovered yet, my rectum bowel needs to be taken away soon also cause im still bleeding quite much. But the pandemic has made the waiting list long so i have to wait for my turn. Have any of you operated your rectum? I feel quite nervous for that operation.

 

Thanks again to you beautiful souls.

 

Nicolas 

Fri Oct 15, 2021 9:23 pm

Hi Nicolas,

  As others have said.........welcome.  Others will chime in about your rectum.......mine is still in me somewhere, so I can't comment on that.  But the beach.  I used to love the beach.  But now that I'm an ostomate it's one of my least favorite places to go.  I think in the past 7 years (since I got my ostomy).....I've been to the beach a handful of times.  Any place where it's hot and I sweat a lot I just don't enjoy as much as I used to.  When I do go I wear an over-shirt.....a light cotton button-down.  I really don't care who sees my bag, so I hide mine more for them than for me.  But as Caz said.......who really give a hoot anyway?  If you made a bag cover with a Nike or New Balance or Body Armor logo on it I don't think most people would even know what it was.  You can also get a StealthBelt (or a knockoff) that can pretty much make your bag invisible. You've got options.  Again, welcome aboard!!

 

regards,

bob

Fri Oct 15, 2021 11:39 pm

Hi Nicco

Go for it!  Soon, it may be too cold to swim in the ocean, but swimming pools can be analternative  - if you want to swim all year long.

I do swim, and my stoma is located below my waistline, therefore it's not visible when only wearing shorts, however, when I do swim, I wear a pair of speedo style trunks, and on top, a pair of patterened lose swimming shorts.

I have only ever used Dansac Invent bags, and when I had my surgery, I was given some mini Dansac bags, for use when swimming, however, I have never needed the mini bags, but I believe that Dansac do still offer a mini bag, and it's possible to obtain free samples of Dansac products.

Also, swimwear styles could be an option for you, have you checked out some of the mens singlet type swim suits that are currently on trend?

 

Will

 

Sun Oct 17, 2021 6:43 pm

As a woman, I can get by with a lot more options. For women, almost anything goes from 2-piece skimpy with everything "hanging out" to a 1-piece that kind of slims everything to my favorite - 2-piece where the top has a "skirt" that hangs down enough to cover the bag. For men, the waist-high drawstring suits (like surfer shorts) should probably work well to cover up the bag, with or without a stealth sleeve that would hold the bag firmly in place beneath the shorts. Good luck, and have fun at the pool or the beach this summer!

Sun Oct 17, 2021 6:46 pm

Hi. ¬†Beaching. - ¬†check out a wrap by OSTOMY Secrets . ¬† They also make bathing suits for men. ¬†Also, check out a Stealth Belt. ¬†Enjoy your sun and fun but remember to stay hydrated ūüėé

Mon Oct 18, 2021 7:53 am

Nicco, 

The first thing you have to keep in mind is that you are now in a better place than before the surgery.  Before I had a colostomy I could not sit on a beach unless there was a bathroom close by.  Now, I can enjoy a day at the beach with no worries about having to rush to a toilet.  Anyway, as a woman I can wear a full bathing suit or a tank style with a pair of shorts and both cover the pouch nicely.  My boyfriend also has a colostomy and he wears a loose bathing trunks with a draw string waist that he can adjust over the pouch. For a man can I suggest wearing a tank top over your suit and that should hide the pouch.    And your English is just fine.  Have a happy life at the beach!

Mon Oct 18, 2021 12:57 pm

Hi guys,

 

Thanks again for all replies, it means alot!

I think the stealthbelt looks like something i could try, sadly it seems that i cant get one from any swedish website. But maybe its worth the shipping cost.

I have some time to save money now when the long winter and darkness is coming to sweden :-) 

 

Take care everyone and thanks again!

Tue Oct 19, 2021 4:04 am


nicco_lowe wrote:

Hi guys,

 

Thanks again for all replies, it means alot!

I think the stealthbelt looks like something i could try, sadly it seems that i cant get one from any swedish website. But maybe its worth the shipping cost.

I have some time to save money now when the long winter and darkness is coming to sweden :-) 

 

Take care everyone and thanks again!

Nicco,

  Since you have time but no funds.........the easy answer is to make something yourself.  Sewing is really easy if you have a machine, and if you don't they're usually available used for cheap.  Material can be neoprene, spandex or something not as flexible.....that's your choice.  The only critical dimension is the hole for your bag to fit thru, and once you got that the rest is easy.  Learning to sew takes minutes, really.  Threading the sewing machine takes longer than making the damn thing.  And you're free to experiment as much as you like........and it sounds like you got some time on your hands.  If you don't want to buy a used sewing machine I'm sure you have a relative or friend who has one and wouldn't mind helping you out.  Buy some really cheap material or use an old sheet to use as patterns and try making some.  Then when you decide on the exact style you want go buy some spandex (I find it's cheaper to buy large women's spandex yoga pants at Walmart and cut them up for the material) and make your final design.  No wait, no shipping charges and no returns if you get the wrong size.  Think about it....if I can do it......it's not hard, really. 

regards,

bob

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