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HI, I need some advice

Fri Jan 07, 2022 9:23 pm
"This is the best website for people with an Ostomy, hands down. So much understanding. Everyone should join."

What is the easiest way to lose weight with an ileostomy? I've been thinking about checking into Cool Sculpting for my lower abdominal area. Between having 2 cesarean sections, 5 female surges and two ileostomy surgeries (one failed and had to be redone) I have developed a skin flap hangover which is literally impossible to lose. No matter how hard I try, I can't lose it and it won't tighten up.  Too many muscles have been cut apart. I know Liposuction would not be safe with my ileostomy but is there any other safe way to loose weight in this area without causing a hernia or damaging my ileostomy?  It just looks so ugly and I know no man would even consider me the way my stomach looks.  Almost everything works like it is supposed to with exception of what was removed but from the sternum to the top of my pelvic bone which is where they had to do the emergency surgery in 2017 to save my life, I look like a train wreck. Any suggestions would be appreciated.  Thank you.

Fri Jan 07, 2022 9:35 pm

Sorry to hear your plight but yes I would go for the skin removal by surgery if it's looks that bad & bothers you as long as you can afford it & not get into debt over it? Go girl & send me a pick I might take you out to wine & dime you! 😂

MeetAnOstoMate - 26,431 members
Fri Jan 07, 2022 9:37 pm

If cool sculpting is where they freeze the area, it did nothing for the person I know that had it done, a complete waste of money. I would insist on a guarantee of satisfaction or you pay nothing contract. 

Sat Jan 08, 2022 1:38 am

Dancer, I completely understand how you are feeling.  When I was pregnant with my daughter I developed an extreme amount of stretch marks, then I had to have an emergency c-section, which gave me kind of an apron effect.  I also have now had 8 more surgeries over the years for different organs/issues, and am looking at having to have another this spring.  Due to chronic inflammation, my abdomen is always slightly puffy.  I jokingly call it my 'Buckshot Buddha Belly'.  There is no  surgery that could remove all my battle wound scars, and with all the cut tissue and inflammation, no amount of exercise will firm it up.  I used to be very self conscious about it and  worried about how it would effect any potential relationship. But, I have met, and had relationships with, some truly wonderful men over the years that didn't care about my stomach and never made me feel ashamed. Unfortunately, the relationships didn't end up working out but for reasons that had nothing to do with how I looked. 

I know you are worried that no man will consider you how you are. You are a beautiful woman, and If someone is too shallow to turn away from you simply because you aren't stereotypically perfect, then they don't deserve you.  If someone can't see the beauty in your fight for life, they'll never truly see all your beauty and you deserve better.  So, though I don't have any suggestions on how to reduce weight/lose the belly, I can tell you that there are absolutely wonderful deeply caring gentlemen out there that can, and will, look past it. 

I know this probably isn't the type of response you were looking for, but I hope it does help. 

Sat Jan 08, 2022 1:50 am


TreeOfHope wrote:

Dancer, I completely understand how you are feeling.  When I was pregnant with my daughter I developed an extreme amount of stretch marks, then I had to have an emergency c-section, which gave me ...

Thank you for those kind words.  I appreciate it greatly!


Sat Jan 08, 2022 7:02 am


TreeOfHope wrote:

Dancer, I completely understand how you are feeling.  When I was pregnant with my daughter I developed an extreme amount of stretch marks, then I had to have an emergency c-section, which gave me ...

Your words give hope to us all TreeOfHope. 

{{{Hugs}}}

🌻

Sun Jan 09, 2022 4:32 pm

I can also relate, and I'm sorry your feeling that way. Any guy who cannot see past the skin is just not worth it. I personally have chose to be alone the rest of my life... I have unfortunately accepted it.

I was doing Pilates, but it firmed up my stomach area, gave me a strong core but I too have issues there. I lost 60 pounds with my cancer this past year... gained back 15, muscle I'm guessing.

I am not happy or comfortable in my skin.. but my urostomy is exactly one year old. I am working with a weight doctor.. not for losing weight to make me happy, more so to help control my stoma, and make her more comfortable. I want to reduce my stomach so I am starting prescription weight lose meds. I am gonna try it... I'd be happy keeping my muscle and reducing fat. 
Instart this weeek.... so we will see

Sun Jan 09, 2022 4:42 pm

If I remember correctly, a little skin here or there just makes it more of an adventure to get to the prize. 😮  


Tue Jan 18, 2022 3:47 pm

Anyone who would reject your body instead of embracing the wonderful you ain't worth your time.  That said, I am very self conscious about my mid and lower sections. For ME, not not for any one else, I bought a night time skin tone "girdle" that goes from my belly button to a few inches above my pelvic area. It's soft and comfy, not very tight at all. And looks like nothing. It's my confidence tube. And it often ends up on the floor. 

Tue Jan 18, 2022 7:24 pm

Before I had my total pelvic exerneration in May 2019 I was told I would lose my rectum,anus,prostrate,bladder & semicle vesicles which makes the spud juice you shoot out your jap eye when you cum & carries the sperm. I was also told that is the end of your sex life as I knew it as my surgeon told me he would have to cut nerves in that region, at the time my partner had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer & I was more worried about her than me as I had hope of surviving but she never as it has spread to her liver she was diagnosed in January 2019 the day I finished chemo & radiation as I started out with neoadjuvant therapy & had my colostomy fitted first October 2018 a month after being diagnosed with rectal cancer. 
so the last thing on my mind was having a shag as it was least of my priorities & bigger things to worry about that were about to come? I even left money to cover both our funerals in case I never came out the other side even after going in an induced coma for two weeks after my big operation & catching sepsis,E coli & pneumonia all at same time & every antibiotic failed then at the death I was offered a trial antibiotic drug from Australia that pulled me through. Anyway it took me 8 weeks to crawl out of st Mary's London instead of 4/5 as predicted?? I came home by bluff & in a wheel chair as they cut so many nerves I could hardly walk on a frame but knew I had to as I knew Jaqueline my partner from school was getting weaker by the phone calls, cut along story short I got home 10 July 2019 & Jackie came down to my mums bungalow as I could not manage my stairs across the road where I lived & we spent the last two weeks together literally "soul 2 soul" talking about the ifs buts & maybes ?? Then the pain was too much & Jackie had to go into a hospice where she passed away peacefully. 5 September 2019.

The thing was I was along way off of being recovered as the surgeon in London told me it takes upto 2 years to get any where near you were before the op so I knew it was a long slog to go & I had to get my head out of the shed too & not slip into a deep black hole of despair & depression so I knew the only way was up & kept focused on that picture in my mind, it was hard but had to be done or the other alternative was not worth thinking about?

so after about 2 years I'm still struggling to walk normal as the nerve damaged my right leg & muscles not to think about type 2 diabetes I came home with as my kidneys also nearly packed up too, so I have to use a walking stick now if I have to travel a fair distance not to mention the physical & mental scars & two more ops one in October 2020 to remove a tumour on my right kidney then another operation in February 2021 to remove another tumour in my upper left lung & a lymph node on my throat in which the surgeon cut my left larynx nerve removing it so now I can hardly raise my voice above a whisper until I get another operation shortly to improve it?

so after all that shit I met an old flame from way back 25 years about & she told me she still loved me from when we split up & I moved on with Jaqueline as we were all good friends back in the day& she told me she had not loved another man since or made love so I felt a right cxxt knowing that & she always hoped we would get back togeather???? Wow fxxk me I could not believe what I was hearing?? Anyway we started to hang out again & wine & dine but not romantically if you get my drift as she knew I had 2 man bags but being a nurse for over 20 years did not phase her as it was part & parcel of her job so I felt comfortable with her at all times but secretly felt guilty pleasure inside as I still had my partner on my mind & in my heart???

so after a 6 months I bought a motorhome as she had a camper & I suppose talked me into it but I've no regrets as I thought I might I even wished I had one years ago but never too late late to start, so we went on a few adventures & fooled around but things always ended up with loads of fore play but no sex as I could not produce the bazooka every time even thou in my mind I thought I could? I think it was more disappointing for me than her as she was not bothered she would say but I know 100% if she felt a big boner poking in her back she would be more than happy to accommodate it any which way but can I know!!

so now I'm at a cross roads? Do I resign myself to the fact I'm married to God now & no more sex until the day I die & live like Richard Chamberlain in the "Thorn Birds" a priest or go to my urologist & get an implant you pump up made by Coloplast or go for the penile injections that keep it hard as granite for 6 hours before it subsides??

i must stress I'm not in a relationship with with my XX but good friends but not with benefits, we are just hanging out on a few road trips for now & living for the moment!

its a big quandary?? Any thoughts welcome?.?

Thx Adam 

Tue Jan 18, 2022 8:32 pm


Panko wrote:

 

Before I had my total pelvic exerneration in May 2019 I was told I would lose my rectum,anus,prostrate,bladder & semicle vesicles which makes the spud juice you shoot out your jap eye when you ...

Sorry you've been through so much! But you need to tone your language down. That's the help I can offer you. JoAnne

Tue Jan 18, 2022 10:36 pm


Rocket52 wrote:

Sorry you've been through so much! But you need to tone your language down. That's the help I can offer you. JoAnne

Get a LIFE!

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