Easiest way to lose weight with an ileostomy and tighten skin?

Jan 08, 2022 2:23 am

What is the easiest way to lose weight with an ileostomy? I've been thinking about checking into Cool Sculpting for my lower abdominal area. Between having 2 cesarean sections, 5 female surgeries, and two ileostomy surgeries (one failed and had to be redone), I have developed a skin flap hangover which is literally impossible to lose. No matter how hard I try, I can't lose it and it won't tighten up. Too many muscles have been cut apart. I know Liposuction would not be safe with my ileostomy, but is there any other safe way to lose weight in this area without causing a hernia or damaging my ileostomy? It just looks so ugly, and I know no man would even consider me the way my stomach looks. Almost everything works like it is supposed to with the exception of what was removed, but from the sternum to the top of my pelvic bone, which is where they had to do the emergency surgery in 2017 to save my life, I look like a train wreck. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thank you.

Jan 08, 2022 2:35 am

Sorry to hear your plight, but yes, I would go for the skin removal by surgery if it looks that bad and bothers you. As long as you can afford it and not get into debt over it, go girl! Send me a pic, I might take you out to wine and dine you!

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Jan 08, 2022 2:37 am

If CoolSculpting is where they freeze the area, it did nothing for the person I know that had it done, a complete waste of money. I would insist on a guarantee of satisfaction or you pay nothing contract.

Jan 08, 2022 6:38 am

Dancer, I completely understand how you are feeling. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I developed an extreme amount of stretch marks. Then, I had to have an emergency c-section, which gave me kind of an apron effect. I also have now had 8 more surgeries over the years for different organs/issues, and am looking at having to have another this spring. Due to chronic inflammation, my abdomen is always slightly puffy. I jokingly call it my 'Buckshot Buddha Belly'. There is no surgery that could remove all my battle wound scars, and with all the cut tissue and inflammation, no amount of exercise will firm it up. I used to be very self-conscious about it and worried about how it would affect any potential relationship. But, I have met, and had relationships with, some truly wonderful men over the years that didn't care about my stomach and never made me feel ashamed. Unfortunately, the relationships didn't end up working out but for reasons that had nothing to do with how I looked.

I know you are worried that no man will consider you how you are. You are a beautiful woman, and if someone is too shallow to turn away from you simply because you aren't stereotypically perfect, then they don't deserve you. If someone can't see the beauty in your fight for life, they'll never truly see all your beauty and you deserve better. So, though I don't have any suggestions on how to reduce weight/lose the belly, I can tell you that there are absolutely wonderful deeply caring gentlemen out there that can, and will, look past it.

I know this probably isn't the type of response you were looking for, but I hope it does help.

Jan 08, 2022 6:50 am
Reply to TreeOfHope

Thank you for those kind words. I appreciate it greatly!

Words of Encouragement from Ostomy Advocates I Hollister
Past Member
Jan 08, 2022 12:02 pm
Reply to TreeOfHope

Your words give hope to us all, TreeOfHope.


Jan 09, 2022 9:32 pm

I can also relate, and I'm sorry you're feeling that way. Any guy who cannot see past the skin is just not worth it. I personally have chosen to be alone for the rest of my life... I have unfortunately accepted it.

I was doing Pilates, but it firmed up my stomach area, gave me a strong core, but I too have issues there. I lost 60 pounds with my cancer this past year... gained back 15, muscle I'm guessing.

I am not happy or comfortable in my skin... but my urostomy is exactly one year old. I am working with a weight doctor... not for losing weight to make me happy, more so to help control my stoma and make her more comfortable. I want to reduce my stomach, so I am starting prescription weight loss meds. I am gonna try it... I'd be happy keeping my muscle and reducing fat.
Starting this week... so we will see

Jan 09, 2022 9:42 pm

If I remember correctly, a little skin here or there just makes it more of an adventure to get to the prize.

Past Member
Jan 18, 2022 8:47 pm

Anyone who would reject your body instead of embracing the wonderful you ain't worth your time. That said, I am very self-conscious about my mid and lower sections. For me, not for anyone else, I bought a nighttime skin tone "girdle" that goes from my belly button to a few inches above my pelvic area. It's soft and comfy, not very tight at all. And looks like nothing. It's my confidence tube. And it often ends up on the floor.

Jan 19, 2022 12:24 am

Before I had my total pelvic exenteration in May 2019, I was told I would lose my rectum, anus, prostate, bladder, seminal vesicles, which make the sperm-carrying fluid. I was also told that it is the end of your sex life as I knew it, as my surgeon told me he would have to cut nerves in that region. At the time, my partner had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I was more worried about her than me, as I had hope of surviving, but she never did, as it has spread to her liver. She was diagnosed in January 2019, the day I finished chemo and radiation. I started out with neoadjuvant therapy and had my colostomy fitted on October 2018, a month after being diagnosed with rectal cancer.
So the last thing on my mind was having a shag, as it was the least of my priorities. I had bigger things to worry about that were about to come. I even left money to cover both our funerals in case I never came out the other side. Even after going into an induced coma for two weeks after my big operation and catching sepsis, E. coli, and pneumonia all at the same time, and every antibiotic failed, at the death I was offered a trial antibiotic drug from Australia that pulled me through. Anyway, it took me 8 weeks to crawl out of St. Mary's London instead of 4/5 as predicted. I came home by bluff and in a wheelchair, as they cut so many nerves I could hardly walk on a frame, but I knew I had to, as I knew Jacqueline, my partner from school, was getting weaker by the phone calls. Cut a long story short, I got home on July 10, 2019, and Jackie came down to my mum's bungalow, as I could not manage my stairs across the road where I lived. We spent the last two weeks together, literally "soul to soul," talking about the ifs, buts, and maybes. Then the pain was too much, and Jackie had to go into a hospice where she passed away peacefully on September 5, 2019.

The thing was, I was a long way off from being recovered, as the surgeon in London told me it takes up to 2 years to get anywhere near where you were before the operation. So I knew it was a long slog to go, and I had to get my head out of the shed too, not slip into a deep black hole of despair and depression. So I knew the only way was up and kept focused on that picture in my mind. It was hard but had to be done, or the other alternative was not worth thinking about.

So after about 2 years, I'm still struggling to walk normally, as the nerve damaged my right leg and muscles. Not to think about type 2 diabetes I came home with, as my kidneys also nearly packed up too. So I have to use a walking stick now if I have to travel a fair distance, not to mention the physical and mental scars and two more operations. One in October 2020 to remove a tumor on my right kidney, then another operation in February 2021 to remove another tumor in my upper left lung and a lymph node on my throat, in which the surgeon cut my left larynx nerve removing it. So now I can hardly raise my voice above a whisper until I get another operation shortly to improve it.

So after all that shit, I met an old flame from way back 25 years ago, and she told me she still loved me from when we split up. I moved on with Jacqueline, as we were all good friends back in the day. She told me she had not loved another man since or made love, so I felt a right cunt knowing that. She always hoped we would get back together. Wow, fuck me, I could not believe what I was hearing. Anyway, we started to hang out again, wine and dine, but not romantically, if you get my drift. She knew I had 2 man bags, but being a nurse for over 20 years did not faze her, as it was part and parcel of her job. So I felt comfortable with her at all times, but secretly felt guilty pleasure inside, as I still had my partner on my mind and in my heart.

So after 6 months, I bought a motorhome, as she had a camper and I suppose talked me into it. But I have no regrets, as I thought I might. I even wished I had one years ago, but it's never too late to start. So we went on a few adventures and fooled around, but things always ended up with loads of foreplay but no sex, as I could not produce the bazooka every time, even though in my mind I thought I could. I think it was more disappointing for me than her, as she was not bothered, she would say. But I know 100% if she felt a big boner poking in her back, she would be more than happy to accommodate it any which way, but can I know!

So now I'm at a crossroads. Do I resign myself to the fact I'm married to God now and no more sex until the day I die, live like Richard Chamberlain in the "Thorn Birds," a priest? Or do I go to my urologist and get an implant you pump up made by Coloplast or go for the penile injections that keep it hard as granite for 6 hours before it subsides?

I must stress I'm not in a relationship with my ex, but good friends, but not with benefits. We are just hanging out on a few road trips for now, living for the moment!

It's a big quandary. Any thoughts welcome?

Thx Adam

Jan 19, 2022 1:32 am
Reply to Panko

Sorry you've been through so much! But you need to tone your language down. That's the help I can offer you. JoAnne

Jan 19, 2022 3:36 am
Reply to Rocket52

Get a life!