I had surgery January 3, resulting in a permanent colostomy. I knew it would be the likely outcome of the surgery and so was prepared and accepting.
Upon discharge from the hospital, a nurse shared with me a list of my meds and instructions, etc. New on the list was to take a dose of Miralax "daily." Nurse indicated this was standard for someone with a new colostomy. I asked what time of the day. Nurse didn't know but said that if someone is constipated, well, you take it in the evening. So I did. Got away with that for two nights at home.
Woke up third morning at home absolutely swimming in waste. My pouch was packed so tight it was like a sausage, and the side and top had blown out, allowing flood to continue unabated as I slept. OH my, when I awoke and became aware of what had happened... I didn't cry or scream I simply muttered "oh sh*t,". Husband said the same. Luckily I'd fallen asleep with my full length robe on and it served as a sort of containment system. Obviously I can sleep through anything.
What to do? Seven days out of surgery, swimming in sewage, in pain and exhausted. With the help of a few beach towel wraps I got to the bathroom and there used a dustpan and spatula to scrape as much waste as I could into a triple trash bag. Then I got in the shower with the nightclothes I was wearing and took an hour shower to first rinse and remove the clothing, remove the flange, and wash myself 20 times.
I let the clothing drain for a while then handed my husband the gift of a trash bag full of the clothing and simply said "pre wash cycle, hot water and bleach for a month." God Bless him! And then I managed to get a flange and pouch on and scrub every inch of the bathroom with every bathroom chemical available.
Clean and in clean clothes, I felt like I was in shock. I was! But we got through it and it taught me I can get through anything.
As it turns out, that Miralax is to be taken in the morning. As I go along, the dosage is reduced until the consistency of my put put is the right stuff.
And I threw out the dustpan and spatula and my bathroom has never been cleaner.
And if you don't laugh at things like this you'll certainly lose your mind... what's left of it.