Appreciating the Support: My Journey with a Colostomy and Finding Humor in the Midst of Challenges

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1495
Audrey Warren
Oct 23, 2022 5:56 pm

This site is a godsend. As a newbie (colostomy on Nov 8, '21), I look at it every day for a number of reasons. Reading what people are going through makes me grateful that my elective surgery because of a severe case of IBS-C is nothing compared to what they have been through and are still living with.

I don't have to go to the hospital for anything related to my ostomy. I feel sorry for those who do and am in awe of those who can use humor to describe their ordeal. I identify with those who express their fears. I especially identify with those who are depressed because I am clinically depressed and have general anxiety disorder. How ironic that having a colostomy eliminated some of the depression and anxiety that the IBS created. I've been widowed twice and I'm on match.com.
I immediately included my operation in my profile and am pleased to say it doesn't seem to make a difference.

And there is much humor on this site and it's one of the reasons I enjoy it so much.

I could name numerous things I've learned from reading people's comments/questions/answers.

After months following on a daily basis, my only negative comment is I don't like listing the most popular members.
It's not that I don't like these people; I do. It's that I think it elicits some "Facebook"-like banter or comments that are gratuitous.

I don't do any social media and think that its merits are overshadowed by too much negativity.

Meetanostomate is in no way negative. I just think the gallery of "popularity" detracts from what is an excellent website that deals with a serious issue that causes a myriad of emotions.

Bill
Oct 23, 2022 6:58 pm

Hello Audrey.

Thanks for your post. Having read it I got the feeling I must be missing something. Although I looked again, I couldn't find your gallery of 'popularity' posts. what I did find was a list of people who had posted most, but that's not quite the same as 'popularity'. Then I remembered seeing somewhere the numbers of people who had commented on posts. I thought maybe this is what you meant. It also lists posts that have not had any replies, which I find I am drawn to in case I have some contribution to make. It seems to me that no relevant post should go unanswered on a site that purports to support its members. 

I also don't do social media, so I'm at a loss as to what you refer to regarding the negativity.

I think that if there was a part of this site that I felt was superfluous or did not suit my taste, I would simply ignore it and carry on with contributing to and participating in the things that grab my attention. 

There's only one example that springs to mind in this regard and that is the 'chat' room.  I have made an effort on several different occasions to join in conversations in 'chat', but I simply cannot get used to the format and so, I've given up trying. This is not to say that I don't think it's a good idea, it's just not for me!

Maybe I'm too old to keep up with 'live' conversations, and the open forum offers the opportunity to join in whenever I have the time and inclination to do so. the forums also cater my need for time to think before writing. I like the concept that these forums can be looked at by people who don't wish to actively participate themselves, and by the looks of things that seems to be the majority of people who are listed as members. 

I would like to address my appreciation to the admin staff who try all sorts of different approaches to try to make this site more interesting and acceptable. They may not always get things 'right' for everyone, but generally there's enough in the way of interest to satisfy most.

Just a random thought!

Best wishes

Bill   

Gray Logo for MeetAnOstoMate

Why Join MeetAnOstoMate?

First off, this is a pretty cool site with 35,000 members who truly understand you.

It's not all about ostomy. We talk about everything.

Many come here for advice or to give advice, others have found good friends, and some have even found love. Most importantly, people here are honest and genuinely care.

🛑 Privacy is very important - we have many features that are only visible to members, ensuring a safe and secure environment for you to share and connect.

Create an account and you will be amazed by the warmth of this community.

SallyK
Oct 23, 2022 7:12 pm

Where is the "Gallery of Popularity" posts?

Audrey Warren
Oct 23, 2022 7:22 pm
Reply to SallyK

Sally, the pictures are displayed when you click on "Forum". It's of those who contributed the most. My heading is not well worded. Thank you for bringing that to my attention.

w30bob
Oct 23, 2022 7:24 pm

Hi Audrey,

I read your post, and like Bill didn't quite understand what you were referring to when you said you didn't like the listing of the most popular members. I too thought you were talking about the list of folks at the top of the page on the Forum page. And also like Bill said......those aren't the most popular members........I'm not sure how you'd even figure that out........they're the top 10 posters for the month. And because they contributed the most content to the site in that month are given a free membership for the following month, which allows them all the benefits of a paying member......without paying. Now if you're already a paying member.......you don't get anything, but recognition for your efforts on here. And although I don't see it stated anywhere.......I tend to believe if you are continuously on that list of top contributors........they'll give you a free lifetime membership for your efforts. Don't quote me on that.......but I think that's how that works. Since there's not much dating happening on this site (due to the distances involved and the low number of ostomates nearby), if it wasn't for the forum.......I'm not sure this site would even exist. So a little pat on the back to those keeping the conversation going and posting interesting things that draw new members in.........isn't a bad thing in my opinion.

Now not sure if that was what you were really referring to or not, I looked around a bit on here, which I rarely do. I see they have in the Blog section something called "Popular Member Blogs", which means the most popular blogs from members, not the blogs OF the most popular members......but I think you know that. So that's probably not it.

I don't do social media either..........well, except for once a year when I go on Facebook and thank all those who wish me a happy birthday. Otherwise, I really have no use for that sort of silly form of social interaction. Because I really don't care what you made for dinner last night or where you vacationed last week. But human nature being what it is.........I understand its popularity. Reminds me of cigarettes, drugs, and booze. Three other things I have no use for either.

So again, not really sure what you're talking about specifically, but as Bill also said.........and I tend to do........I enjoy the good and ignore the not-so-good. You sort of have to do that anytime there's more people than yourself in the same room. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!!

;O)

Bob

 
Staying Hydrated with an Ostomy with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister
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SallyK
Oct 23, 2022 7:26 pm
Reply to Audrey Warren

Oh, those pics! LOL

AlexT
Oct 23, 2022 7:38 pm
Reply to w30bob

Bob, I'm not a paying member and I don't get paying member benefits.

NancyCat
Oct 23, 2022 8:22 pm
Reply to SallyK

Right?

TerryLT
Oct 23, 2022 8:52 pm

Hi Audrey, as others have said, just because you have posted more than the average member, doesn't mean you are more popular! I am someone who posts often, mostly because I'm retired and have more time on my hands than many people. I enjoy the site, and because I read it most days, I'm more likely to feel inspired to reply. I'm glad you like the site too, and hope you won't continue to see this as a negative.

Terry

Audrey Warren
Oct 23, 2022 10:19 pm
Reply to TerryLT

I've tried to delete Most Popular but it keeps showing up.

Past Member
Oct 23, 2022 10:32 pm
Reply to w30bob

"And because they contributed the most content to the site in that month are given a free membership for the following month, which allows them all the benefits of a paying member... without paying."

The above is no longer the case and hasn't been for the last year or so.

I have been a paid-up member in the past but have taken a time out (deleted account) and re-joined so many times I didn't see the point in paying for a new membership each time as I rarely used the private message part. Last year I noticed on a "return" that newbies could only post for a few months before the site becoming "read-only" unless they paid for membership but I don't think that's the case now as I'm still here annoying the crap outta peeps! Although if admin reads this I may go on "double secret probation", LOL!

w30bob
Oct 23, 2022 10:35 pm
Reply to AlexT

Alex... everyone knows you're special anyway!! And I'm not talking about riding the short bus to school!!

;o)

Past Member
Oct 23, 2022 10:39 pm
Reply to AlexT

Now Alex, where's your profile pic gone? Not because of this post I hope (cause I ain't removing my koala!)

w30bob
Oct 23, 2022 10:47 pm
Reply to Anonymous

Hi J,

Thanks for the correction. I was away for a while dealing with family issues and COVID crap, so what you say makes perfect sense. Funny, I just searched the site for the "rules" like what we're talking about, and couldn't find anything. Other than Terms of Use, there doesn't seem to be much info on how the site "works" for anyone new (or old). Maybe Admin can fix that when time allows.

2 points for the "Double Secret Probation"..........I hear ya loud and clear!! Wink-wink!!

Now tell us 'non-computer literate' folks how you got your Koala to move in your profile pic..........that's way cool!!

;O)

AlexT
Oct 23, 2022 10:48 pm
Reply to Anonymous

I don't want to offend anyone. Plus, I'm trying to figure out how to get a koala like that myself.

Past Member
Oct 23, 2022 11:20 pm
Reply to AlexT

I noticed someone else had a "gif" of a cat as a profile pic so I thought I'd try it out too, can't get "gifs" to work in the forum but they seem to work in pics?!

Just posted this quokka in my pics but she probably won't be chowing down in this post!

Update 6th March 2023: Now quokka be eating!

Login to see image

SallyK
Oct 24, 2022 12:16 am
Reply to Anonymous

Very cool! I had to try it too! LOL

Justbreathe
Oct 31, 2022 7:16 pm
Reply to Anonymous

I've tried to upload a couple of short videos of talking pets on this site but no luck.

AlexT
Oct 31, 2022 7:34 pm
Reply to Justbreathe

Yeah. Joe and Sally seem to get all the perks.

Justbreathe
Oct 31, 2022 8:37 pm
Reply to AlexT

Yeah, I think I may have gotten the discounted membership deal.

SallyK
Oct 31, 2022 8:49 pm
Reply to Justbreathe

LOL

Killshot_24523
Mar 04, 2023 12:07 pm

I get the... hey, you're logged off perk all the time. Sometimes I get the... we're gonna throw away your response perk. But I'm new here so maybe I'll get other perks later...