IRRIGATION

IRRIGATION.


Some may start a fascination
at the art of irrigation
as they feel the fag and fuss
that having bags can bring to us.


Bags seem to sag with all the weight
and drags on bags can irritate.
Then all that getting to the loo
when you have better things to do.


Although a bag’s expedient
they’re all so inconvenient.
They fill up at the worst of times
and spill out when they burst sometimes.


Bags need the type of attention
that can lead to hypertension.
I must confess that this process
just creates mess and great distress.


I feel the times I used a bag
was an ordeal and such a fag.
I needed something different
a thing to keep me tolerant.


To irrigate seemed right for me
to navigate my ostomy.
Although it took time to adjust
I know nowthatit was a must.


When I recalled what I went through
I was appalled by all that poo.
So there’s no envy I would say
for those who empty every day.


I’ll pick what seems affirmative
and stick with the alternative.
Now should I stir to defecate
I would prefer to irrigate.


B. Withers 2013



NB: It seems that the word F-A-G is not acceptable on this site and has been automatically exchanged for '***'. I do not know what it means in vulgar slang but inthe Oxford English dictionary it means 'tedious task'. so I'm not sure why it has been deleted inthis way.


Best wishes


Bill

F-A-G is slang for F-A-G-G-O-T. Think the N word. Same. For some, it is just as bad. But for most gay men, it is nothing. But still, it is not acceptable to use it.

Bill, how very true that is. Very well put. Angelica Marie.

Thank you WAB for explaining the alternative use of the term F-A-G or '***'as the administrators would have us spell it.
There are many words in the English language that mean several things, which is why they should be placed in the context in which they are written, rather than excluded altogether. I thought I better refer directly to the dictionary to see what they say and find that it also means a cigarette, a boy who runs errands for a senior at public school and indeed, there it was! meaning male homosexual - but only in offensive 'US' slang so perhaps I can be forgiven for not knowing that previously. Especially as I don't even keep up with our own offensive slang, let alone other people's. As they say--- 'you learn something everyday' and today is obviously no exception.
Best wishes
Bill

Hello Angelicamarie.
Thank you for your kind comment. These are always welcome and well received as rhyming verse waxes and wanes in literary fashion and not everybody has an appreciation for it.
Best wishes
Bill

Hello WAB. Just an afterthought on re-reading your post. I thought a 'faggot' (F_A_G-G-O-T in case they delete it!) was a Scottish culinary delicacy of meat wrapped up in a pigs intestine and cooked for HOGMANAY!
Oh! what a sheltered life I lead, with what I hear and what I read.
Best wishes
Bill

You are right, Bill. Across the pond is some sort of food...

Hi. I really dislike emptying my stoma bag. The poem at the top of this page, written by Bill, is spot on. I would prefer to irrigate, then it's done with for the day, instead of making sure I'm near a toilet all day and worrying about possible leakage. I saw my stoma nurse a few weeks ago to discuss colonic irrigation. When the appliance was set up on my stoma, I thought this is the answer to my problems. Oh no, after 4 hours of sitting and waiting around her room under the nurse's supervision, nothing happened. No evacuation, just brown water came down the sleeve into the bucket. I have tried at home with the same type of appliance, it still doesn't work. Does anyone know what I'm doing wrong? Or explain the procedure if you use the irrigation method. It would make life so much easier if I could get the product to work.

Hello Margaret.
There is a similar question to ours in the 'collections' section (on the left hand side of the screen)- look under 'Colostomy' and the post is about the second or third one down the list. There are so many replies that it would be difficult to summarise them in one post.
What I would say is that everyone is different when it comes to these sorts of things and it is useful to try all sorts of different approaches to see what suits you best.
I can tell you what I tried and have found successful but it might not be the same for everyone.
Firstly, The hanging bag method was useless for me because it did not hold enough water for my needs and it di not have enough pressure to push the water past my hernia and do the job of irrigating it. I therefore tried a Braun irrigator pump (now upgraded to an 'IRRIPUMP S'. This worked well but still did not have enough water for my needs so I made a pump of my own design from a garden sprayer which holds 5litres of water. I do not use all this as much of it leaks back out as I'm in the process of irrigating but at least I DON'T HAVE TO KEEP REFILLING THE MACHINE. also, the cone they supply was hopeless for me, as it did not get past my hernia so I made a catheter out of the tip from an anal-catheter that I used to use when I was irrigating anally. I needed to make a plastic shield so that the splash-back of water did not come right out of the top of the sleeve but after many different designs I got one to work efficiently and now I irrigate without those problems. I also had problems with the Dansac disposable sleeves coming unstuck in the middle of irrigation (a really messy business!)I complained and they sent me a reusable sleeve which works well with the catheter system. Unfortunately, it exacerbates the dreaded hernia if I leave it on overnight. So, I made myself a different 'bag' for overnight use, which has a metal baseplate to hold the hernia at bay and a stoma collar to protect the edges of the stoma from the metal.
All this may sound overcomplicated but it has been my experience that each time a problem arises I have managed to find a fairly simple solution to overcome it. Many people don't have these problems and their irrigation goes well from the off. I have listed some of my problems and solutions so that you can see that I still feel that irrigation is a worthwhile pursuit, even if we have to find ways around the problems we face in trying to achieve perfection.
There is a good video on YouTube by an Aussie guy that shows how easy it is to irrigate but I'm not good with the internet and could not find it when I looked so perhaps someone else could point you in the right direction.
Best wishes
Bill

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZoqr6P0Qf8

Hi Bill. Thank you for all the information you have given me. I will look at the video you suggested. I really need this irrigation because I am intolerable with those bags and the draining, leaking, bloating everything about them. I am going to try this procedure again and again until it works. Regards, Margaret.

If you go here, there will be other videos also. Check them out.

Hi WAB