Facing Elective Surgery? Let Go of Anger and Move Forward with Positivity

Replies
4
Views
446
Jayne
Dec 06, 2023 10:26 am

For everyone facing elective surgery:

 

I am recently reminded by a kind email carrying the quote -

"Staying angry at someone is like letting them live rent-free in your head."  

In the words of this post title, just how important it is for us to 'process' events in order to 'move on' with positivity.

 

 

I am posting it under ostomy surgery as I wish to make it quite clear that anger is not helpful - in any scenario.

And by the same token, pragmatism is not helpful either!

 

 

My own current upcoming happening is to be my second private repair surgery - funded by the sponsor company's clinical trial insurance of the TIES implant device.

 

Unsuitable for Crohn's Disease Patients:

I see my own 'role' of being the first patient to be implanted in the UK, as a scientific contribution, resulting in an understanding, having global implications for the ostomy patient base, resulting in a definitive statement from the company regarding the TIES device:

"Mr. Crohn is unfortunately still contraindicated in the development of TIES."

I am not a proponent of the 'sue me culture' but have found legal representation necessary in order to facilitate treatment following my negative experiences of the TIES device.

 

My verdict being 'Good Concept - Yet to be perfected':

For the record, I see the concept of a device designed to facilitate a continent stoma management as a future move forward in bowel surgery: An admirable innovation - yet to be perfected - which, going forward, may progress from early experimentation at clinical trial stage to better commercial and patient options for the future for ostomy management.

 

It remains to be seen by what means, and by which players in the medtech industry such an outcome evolves.

 

For whatever reason we may, as a patient, be facing surgery - resulting from many different elements of our personal 'causes' for treatment, anger is a harmful emotion to harbor - best addressed by personal change as soon as possible!

 

For any elective surgery, my tips are to try to become as informed as possible and take the time to make a truly and accurately informed decision - insisting upon factual answers, to enable the arrival at a solution that will be best for you.

 

Assumptions and expectations not founded upon fact are very dangerous - research and transparency are key.

 

Put anger to bed as soon as possible and do not allow it to negatively impact your own personal progress.

 

Always stand firm and be of true heart so that you may remain your own personal best no matter what life presents.

 

The quotation of rent-free living within one's head is a neat observation we can all consider... for each of us needs to move forward with positivity and house no squatters within our psyche.

 

May timing and good fortune be on your side.

 

Best wishes,

 

Jayne

Bill
Dec 06, 2023 2:05 pm

Beautifully expressed!

Gray Logo for MeetAnOstoMate

Why Join MeetAnOstoMate?

First off, this is a pretty cool site with 36,000 members who truly understand you.

It's not all about ostomy. We talk about everything.

Many come here for advice or to give advice, others have found good friends, and some have even found love. Most importantly, people here are honest and genuinely care.

🛑 Privacy is very important - we have many features that are only visible to members, ensuring a safe and secure environment for you to share and connect.

Create an account and you will be amazed by the warmth of this community.

warrior
Dec 06, 2023 3:09 pm

hmm i don't know if i fully agree with this..

sometimes anger is needed to get the point across when some folks don't " get it".

try as u may to be calm, sometimes showing an emotion gets the point across. 

u can always..always apologise later. or even in advance.

they say cooler heads prevail.

u can stress that in yur apology.

we have all had our share of wanting  to lash out.  

i am reminded if a phrase when im done lashing out  to a friend for their stupidity. and of  course after i apologise i say " u know i like you.

i'm gunna kill u last." 

 

Jayne
Dec 06, 2023 10:19 pm
Reply to warrior

Warrier,

 

You have made me Smile, Yeah, I still often respond to a red flag .... then dig a deep hole as I sramble out!

 

You know I have something I say too .... and its often "If I felt I had to [do 'xxx' ] - then I probably wouldn't" 

[meaning, 'but seeing its You then Yes I will do it but not necessarily for the reasons given!']

 

..... but when I really want to make amends, then yes, one's buddies are close - its only the 'enemies' that get the platitudes or outright WTF dont tread over the [my] line.   Also I wont be put into a hole - willingly I guess.

 

Great Buds are  really patient with me on the occassions I don't 'get it' .  [Usually I am sensitive and feel very much when I get it wrong - I have learnt though Its best not to take ourselves too seriously!

 

 

I just luv your

" u know i like you.

i'm gunna kill u last." 

 

Nice one!

 

Jayne.

warrior
Dec 07, 2023 4:38 am

🤗 Thanks. That line I used came from a movie. It stuck. Always gets a good laugh.

And really, by society's measure today, it will give pause to those knuckleheads out there.

Hang in there, Jayne. 🌹

 

 

Getting Support in the Ostomy Community with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister

Play