Aren't stomas great?

Replies
17
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233
SusanT
Jan 24, 2025 2:50 am

So, with very little fanfare, I returned to work last week after a 15-month medical leave. Only part-time, and I have always worked from home, so not as big a thing as you might think, but essential to my tale.

We had a huge global meeting this week. I joined with my phone so I could be comfortable during the meeting. Partway through, sure enough, there goes my colostomy. Explodes and fills the bag to almost bursting... can't ignore that.

Me and my bag grab my walker along with the phone still broadcasting the meeting and head for the bathroom.

Here we all are in the bathroom, and I am trying to switch out the bag. The meeting goes on.

I get the bag off and I'm trying to clean the stoma. And... the volcano explodes, dumping enough output to fill another bag. I'm grabbing paper towels frantically.

And the meeting goes on.

Miraculously, I manage to keep my clothing and floor clean. After everything is cleaned up and a new bag is safely in place, I return to my comfortable chair... phone in hand and meeting still in progress.

It was then that I realized I had just done all of this while attending a work meeting.

Ain't stomas great? 🤣

warrior
Jan 24, 2025 3:05 am

"Here we all are in the bathroom."

Ha ha. 😆 Tight squeeze there, I bet. 👍

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eefyjig
Jan 24, 2025 3:08 am

Talk about multi-tasking!

Gracie Bella
Jan 24, 2025 4:34 am

Oh Susan!!
I sympathize! I've had MANY bags come off from my ileostomy. In the beginning (25 plus years ago now), I regularly used to wake up at 3 AM in the morning—shit EVERYWHERE! I'd begin to cry... Hubby would calmly tell me to dry my eyes, get under the shower, and clean up. By the time I'd get back to bed, my husband would have changed the entire bed, and I'd be able to put a new bag on. And we'd go back to sleep.
But, yes, I can still recall the first few weeks, when my bag would constantly come off, every few hours. Here in New Zealand, we have District Nurses, and they were wonderful, REALLY! They'd come out four or five times a day. And my skin would be absolutely raw and bleeding.
Now though, having my ileostomy is completely normal. Most people in our community aren't even aware that I have a bag.
I don't like to talk about my illness.

New Zealanders tend to be very friendly, and it's common for complete strangers to say "hello" and "how are you" as you pass in the street. One generally says "I am fine, thank you for asking, and you?"
That was until I went to the doctor, sick as a dog. He asked me "How are you?" and automatically I replied "Fine, thank you"; and he replied drily, "If you are fine, what are you here for?".

I have stopped telling the people who matter to me that I am fine, because 9 out of 10 times I'm not fine... But not everyone appreciates my honesty. I have had to say to some that if they do not want to know how I really am, they shouldn't ask me how I am!
It's the Dutch in me I'm afraid. We're not people who sugarcoat things. We're sometimes brutally honest, direct, straightforward, and if our opinion on a subject is asked for, we don't always keep it polite, depending on the situation.

In all honesty, I can be forgetful, rather clumsy, and impulsive. And when we are in a hurry, I don't always bring my ostomy changing bag or another bag to put on... which has sometimes led to some awkward accidents. Once when my husband quickly had to grab some things from the supermarket, my bag had popped off, and I hadn't brought anything with me!! So my husband went into the supermarket, he also bought a lot of paper towels and then a security guard noticed that I was stuffing anything absorbent into my pants, and as he had a colostomy, he immediately walked up to the window of the car and asked me if my bag had come off? I replied yes, and I forgot to bring anything to change, and it's an hour's drive home, so he told me that he'd be back in a minute.
The security guard quickly came back with a small packet of nappies, just before my husband came back, he pulled one out of the bag and told me to use that as it would help get me home...

That a stranger I'd never met took the time to buy the nappies for me was so incredibly kind!! An hour later we were home and everything I was wearing went into a bucket to be washed, while I went under the shower.

These days, depending on how long I will be gone, I still bring a change of clothes, and my ostomy changing bag, with a precut baseplate, and I have filled a small bottle with Brava's lubricating deodorant, so IF I have to empty my bag when I am visiting someone, I can make sure that I can add some to my bag afterwards.
I do wish that I could find toilet spray in a small spray bottle which could fit in my bag—I no longer bother with a handbag and just carry a small backpack with me. Some people have told me that you can get trial packs that come in small packs, but I have never found any.

And now I have to stop chatting, as my husband is complaining that he's hungry, and would like something for his dinner...

Have a good day!

Bill
Jan 24, 2025 9:13 am
Reply to Gracie Bella

Hello Gracie Bella.
Thanks for posting a great read.  With regard to "I do wish that I could find toilet spray in a small spray bottle which could fit in my bag". 
There are some small spray bottles on the market for turning dry wipes into wet wipes. I have found them very handy to fill up with glass spay (for my glasses). The plastic spay tops come of fairly easily if I lodge the lip on the edge of a solid surface and just bang it hard. This way I can fill the (small) container with whatever I like..
I hope this helps.
Best wishes
Bill 

 

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IGGIE
Jan 24, 2025 1:22 pm

You're the Stoma Queen, Susan.
Regards, IGGIE

Worzie
Jan 24, 2025 3:39 pm

OMG 😳 SusanT!

This is one thing I was thankful for with the onset of COVID; I was working from home and so was everyone else.  I didn't get asked why I was home so long.  Thankfully not as long as you have.  I still do a couple days a week is all.

I had a similar story going through colonoscopy or surgery prep 🌋

Started off in a Zoom meeting on the PC, the opened up a second of me attending via phone.  I was so paranoid I wasn't able to mute 🤐. Thankfully I was.

I hope you have understanding coworkers 💙

SusanT
Jan 24, 2025 4:29 pm
Reply to Gracie Bella

What a story! Don't we all get in the habit of saying we're fine when the truth may be different? 

I will clarify that because I have a colostomy that needs less frequent attention than an ileostomy, I use disposable bags instead of drainable ones. So I deliberately took off the bag. I just wasn't fast enough cleaning the stoma and getting the new bag on. At least I was in the bathroom with my supplies at hand. I would hate to be out and have the appliance come off like you. That's worse by far. 

SusanT
Jan 24, 2025 4:36 pm
Reply to Worzie

My coworkers are lovely and quite understanding but they knew nothing about that incident. From their perspective, I was just in the meeting. 😂

Nothing I do requires being in the office. I just need my computer and internet. I started working from home full-time 3 or 4 years before COVID.  During COVID, my only adjustment was learning to put up with my husband being home.  

TerryLT
Jan 24, 2025 10:22 pm

Hi Susan,  Of course I was LMAO while reading your post!  I have ended up in the bathroom on several occasions, while trying to deal with the unpleasant but necessary technology screw ups that happen in our daily lives, ie, the internet, TV, or phone providers that have to be dealt with.  You spend so much time on hold, or waiting for a call-back, that naturally happens while you are emptying your appliance.  I imagine the sound of a toilet flushing is nothing new to these people.  I haven't had any comments!

Terry

Rose Bud 🌹
Jan 24, 2025 11:20 pm

New meaning: when you gotta go, you gotta go... just be thankful it wasn't a darn Zoom meeting. I used to put my phone on mute and go to the bathroom during work calls... Do what you gotta do.🫂

Worzie
Jan 25, 2025 12:33 am

I've always valued pooing on the clock!

Rose Bud 🌹
Jan 25, 2025 2:37 am
Reply to Worzie

🤣🤣🤣

ChrisP
Jan 25, 2025 4:33 pm

Anglican/Episcopal priest here. A month after my surgery I was taking a service for the local Altar Servers Guild - so loads of incense!

Half way through I realised I had A Disaster Unfolding. I got to the end of the service, excused myself as tired, and left. Afterwards I heard that people had been lining up to complain to the guy with the incense, saying it was 'off'. He gave in and threw the whole boxful away.

Next service:  fresh incense, but of course No Disaster. All went (and smelled) beautifully! Everybody saw this as confirmation he'd had a box of dodgy incense at the previous service, and told him so!

SusanT
Jan 25, 2025 10:28 pm
Reply to ChrisP

So you hid behind the incense 

🤣🤣🤣

B@tLady
Jan 26, 2025 5:35 pm
Reply to Gracie Bella

I carry a small spray can of Ozium Air Deodorizer. It is usually found in the automotive supply section of stores but can be found online as well. It’s very effective in handling odor and, as you say, easy to carry in a small bag or pocket. 

kerrycookie95
Feb 02, 2025 10:04 pm

Hi, I actually found an ostomate with two; mine are Reggie and Ronnie, the Kray twins. I wasn't expecting two when I woke up, so it was a bit of a shock, but I got my head around it and learned to cope. One is for my poop and the other is just mucus, but both are permanent due to how much of my bowels they removed. But hello, nice to hear I'm not the only one. xx

SusanT
Feb 03, 2025 2:30 am
Reply to kerrycookie95

There aren't many of us doubles around. I'm delighted to meet another! 

Both of mine are permanent too. I knew I would wake up double bagged but it was still quite a bit to wrap my head around.