Age and Reality

It's hard to age. Grow older. Looking at ourselves in the mirror day after day... we don't fully notice the march of time on our faces.
Thinning hair turns gray and recedes. Hair begins sprouting everywhere it's not supposed to. Our facial bone structure matures, altering appearance. Body muscle morphs into fat. Try as we might, nothing stops Father Time.
My wife continually gripes at me to color my gray hair and mustache. To control this household vitriol, I do it occasionally. "Why!" I implore... "can't you let me be?"... dammit. "Oh," she purrs, "you look 20 years younger." Really? I look like an old man with hideous dyed hair.
Fortunately, with my hair disappearance rate, soon she'll have to be happy with a dark hat.
Toss an ostomy into this chronological soup. Simple tasks turn into minor challenges. Like bending over to pick up dropped supplies during wafer change. My cat, the Weasel, has her ears scorched by cuss words I invent on the fly... watching as I attempt to bend over. Mrs. B briefly appears outside the bathroom door, admonishing me about foul language and proper Christian grace. Then she reminds me... dye that damn hair.

Like a good wine, we age with grace and dignity; the lady is better than we mere mortals. Age is just a number.

I'll drink to that.

IGGIE

Age is just a number, and the secret is you gotta use good lotion. 😁

I feel age is a human 'state of mind' "problem" ...... Problems can be mitigated in some areas where there is not a 'cure' as such.

Best to learn grace in order to remain happy within one's own skin [physiologically spiritually mentally]

Inevitably there are times when one's own perception is called into "balance" by the interaction with and the appreciation of others ..... Blessed are those who have rewarding partnerships / friends / and engage with the rewards of life rather than allow negativity to color their own balance - but be flexible and open to consider all possibilities!

Tall order, I know - but hey ...... here we are contributing to others by sharing.

BW for a lovely day!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ waves from UK ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I had an epiphany eight years ago. I figured, after being on the fast track to disastrous health and four surgeries to correct it, why was I so scared to see what I had "under there" on the top of my head? I mean, here I was with an ostomy bag which, hey, if that doesn't rock your boat, you know? After a couple of years when I was fully natural, I was offered the senior discount at our local supermarket. Ouch. My ego made me turn it down. The next time I was in there, I asked, "Just how much does one save with the senior discount?" My third time back, I made sure they gave it to me. 💰

My Ostomy Journey: Kimberly | Hollister

Hi all, when my wife retired from food service at a local university, she stopped dyeing her hair and getting short bob haircuts. Now she has shoulder-length hair that is silver/gray and gets compliments all the time.

Lol @ dye that hair. I didn't use to mind looking a bit older. It was proof of my journey and the experience I'd gained.

My attitude changed when I got cancer. Suddenly, I looked sick. I don't want to look sick. I don't want pity. Now I'm doing things I never did before, like getting manicures and perming my hair. I'm trying to look less sick.

Oh, I understand not wanting to look sick. There was a period of time when friends would either look at me with pity or burst into tears.

And a #9 bleach!

I started getting grays in my late 20s. I colored and highlighted my hair for many years. Now at 57, I couldn't care less. To be able to save up to $200 every couple of months was all it took to let my all-gray flag fly. Shoot, girls pay lots of money to get gray hair nowadays 🤷🏼‍♀️. I have proudly earned every smiling wrinkle on my face. I would rather have my numeral II between my eyebrows than be expressionless 🙄. Plus, some of those movie stars who have had all that plastic surgery, years later look unrecognizable 😳. No thanks 🙂‍↔️ I will go ahead and age gracefully. We all deserve it 🙏🏻

Good for you, Susan -

Being responsible for our body image need not be a sign of vanity! Personally, while pride can get in the way - so long as we are true to ourselves and not solely driven by 'outside appearances,' I feel one can gain from 'appropriately' presenting ourselves ..... so long as one is equally happy when covered in mud and drenched with water and patiently looking forward to a hot shower and a log warming dry off while enjoying that whole 'living experience' [substitute all elements as pertinent] for a chill out in the heat is also SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

I know when I had my chemo phase I sometimes wore a blonde bob-cut wig ...... but I was also prepared and at one to be hairless too [and that was not in the sense of losing my temper ..... although I ruefully acknowledge at times ... dot-dot-dot!

It's OK not to be OK, and it is definitely OK to adopt what we need to help our confidence and 'chin-up, hold it together' ...... for with these devices we are able to come through .... in manners that best suit our own recipes.

Hair dye, wigs, makeup AND happiness in the moment with our core weathered bodies too - one is only OK with the others, IF ...... and when in the final analysis we can just BE - for authenticity is far deeper than skin level!

But you know what? - I'm still the 'reluctant 'Elder' .... and that's because I am a 'Young Soul' with some Older Soul benefits ;-)

.... I am SLOWLY learning that it takes an Older Soul acknowledgment before one is able to fully 'forgive' ..... particularly, forgive oneself, as well as others.

Smiling here as the sun begins to go down over the hill - Time to think about dinner.

J

x

I would love to be "covered in mud and drenched in water" if it meant I was out in nature either having fun or maintaining our property. I can't imagine a better expression of health. 

Unfortunately, Iggie, in my case, it is a large number.

Also, you are only as old as you feel. Unfortunately.

Since we can't change it, all we can do is live with our age. Emphasis on the live part.

The alternative to getting old isn't that good either.

KK - You are so right!

...... I never give in ...... will always 'try' - But alas, sustaining such stuff is another matter.

Also, Susan, as a pharmacist, you have clearly taken on responsibilities in your life - very different from my own .... I respect this.

BW

J

Eefyjig,

Yes, the 'pity' and tears of others was hard!

It cut me to the core when someone who knew me before chemo and saw me on a regular basis admitted later that they "didn't recognize me." That, for me, meant that the 'change' was significant. And, in truth, I don't feel we ever fully recover from the pernicious chemo rigors, for the toxic chemicals remain with us long after treatment [seen within auras 20 plus years on] - albeit one is grateful that the immunity chop treatments worked!

.... Those who simply did not understand made such comments that complimented the wig, for example, and that really made one feel 'hit,' for the real you was inside 'all' of that - and they really did not get it!!

J

Isn't that the truth? We're grateful to the chemo for saving our lives, but we carry it with us forever like an invisible scar.

But still just a number, my friend. Inside, I'm still 21.

IGGIE

It only lives with you if you let it. Dwelling on it and continually bringing it up doesn't do a person any good. If you're done doing treatments (I admit it sucks while doing them and for a time afterward), adjust to your new lifestyle and move on. A person can't move forward if they are always looking back on the past.

I hear ya! 👏🏼

I agree traces of the chemo/trauma will remain - 'energetically' - but hopefully we learn not to be weighed down by any burden from it - viz the wind blowing 'through' one - rather than blowing one over ...... and we also learn that we do not necessarily need to learn to lean 'into' the wind either - but in order to achieve a BEing rather than a DOing ..... we can cultivate spaces within ourselves - and so forgive and thus the wind passes through - eventually; or so it seems to me in my own humble reality - just takes process and forgiveness!

Some may say it just takes a willingness to move on - but that is down to the individual ...... And, in some scenarios one thinks one has moved on - but finds that something else comes up which, in turn REALLY allows one to transition ........ we all are individuals.

I wanted to add these thoughts - but I guess MAOM is not really the place for such esoteric stuff - so forgive my ramblings.

J.

I think this is a great place for esoteric ramblings. Thank you.