Hi,
I got my temporary ileostomy 6 months ago. I had just separated (my decision) and thought I might not have any relationship as long as I have my stoma (which I still will have for at least 6 months).
Well, so far I've told about my ileostomy for 2 dates. The first date I told some months ago moved abroad, so we put our relationship on hold, but I can assure you, my stoma was never a problem. I'm still in contact with him every now and then, but only as friends.
Now 2 weeks ago, I met someone again. Since he lives nearby, I saw him in the first few days every day, we went for walks, for coffee... You know, the good old-fashioned way of dating. Anyway, I started to feel I'd like to "get a little closer" to him (since he did not try anything, because I in the beginning told him I'm "slow in starting new relationships"). So, I told him about my stoma. He had never heard anything about any stoma, but he listened carefully, asked some questions, and even asked me to show it. And then he told me, it doesn't bother him at all.... "Everybody gets sick eventually, one way or another..."
Just wanted to share my experiences. I know it can be frightening, but if you get to know the person first, and they get to know you, I think one silly stoma does not determine your relationship. Be proud, respect yourself. We have experienced a lot and learned a lot from life due to our illness. It makes us stronger and shows what really matters.
Lumme
(In case of some silly mistakes, I'm not a native English speaker)
I got my temporary ileostomy 6 months ago. I had just separated (my decision) and thought I might not have any relationship as long as I have my stoma (which I still will have for at least 6 months).
Well, so far I've told about my ileostomy for 2 dates. The first date I told some months ago moved abroad, so we put our relationship on hold, but I can assure you, my stoma was never a problem. I'm still in contact with him every now and then, but only as friends.
Now 2 weeks ago, I met someone again. Since he lives nearby, I saw him in the first few days every day, we went for walks, for coffee... You know, the good old-fashioned way of dating. Anyway, I started to feel I'd like to "get a little closer" to him (since he did not try anything, because I in the beginning told him I'm "slow in starting new relationships"). So, I told him about my stoma. He had never heard anything about any stoma, but he listened carefully, asked some questions, and even asked me to show it. And then he told me, it doesn't bother him at all.... "Everybody gets sick eventually, one way or another..."
Just wanted to share my experiences. I know it can be frightening, but if you get to know the person first, and they get to know you, I think one silly stoma does not determine your relationship. Be proud, respect yourself. We have experienced a lot and learned a lot from life due to our illness. It makes us stronger and shows what really matters.
Lumme
(In case of some silly mistakes, I'm not a native English speaker)
