It seems like you’re looking for a relationship and not just friendship. I think you have a bunch of friends right here that really care for you and want to be your friends because you are like you are. Wow! Long sentence. As far as a relationship, I believe that’s a result of a connection way beyond
what’s on our bellies. If you think of yourself as damaged you might convey that feeling to others. Think of yourself as fixed and ready to start anew.
Just my thoughts with best wishes to you.
I love what Iyanla Vanzant said about "being alone". You are not ALONE, you are with YOUR SELF! It's all in the attitude. I happen to be someone that needs and appreciates being with MY SELF a lot. I like company too, but I have noticed that when I am busy doing my thing, I attract people more. When you heal your relationship with your SELF you will attract many!...and of a better vibration!
I've had my ostomy for 50 plus years ( I'm 66 & divorced now for 20+ years) so I'm doing my second round of dating.
I was sick with UC and out of school for 3 years before I had my surgery at 15, so I always accepted my ostomy as my "badge of survival". It gave me back the ability to h ave a real life.
But I did have challenges dating for the first time, with issues of who and when to tell.
I was lucky that I lived in NYC and our adult group had a lot of teens and young adults. so we started our own group and that was a wonderful support. I ended up marrying a man who also had an ostomy, as well as a long history of Crohn's disease. That should have bound us together, but sadly it didn't and we eventually divorced after 24 1/2 years of marriage. We have two sons, both of whom have IBD....one with Crohns, and the other with UC. Neither has had surgery, and have been able to manage their conditions....one with medication...the other with an extreme...vegan diet. after years of medications that didn't work.
More than my ostomy, I have other body image issues, that I feel have kept me from finding that one special person. As a teen, the meds I had taken had inflated my body ( steroids) and left me with stretched out skin and stretch marks all over my body. I also went through two pregnancy's which were also a challenge, but which I don't regret. My two sons are my miracle children.
But I've been overweight for so many years now....( more than 20), that I don't think I'll ever see a normal size again. I've dated some really nice guys.....and for some , my physical issues, including the ostomy, were not a problem, and for others they were. If someone has an issue with my body, then that person is not for me. I am currently seeing a lovely man....who had been a super jock as a teen, and young adult....is tall, well build and quite good looking. He's also very accepting, and has no issues with my scars, my stretched out body or my ostomy. It's taken me a long time to relax and believe him, and every once in awhile, he teases me and asks me if I'm still self conscious. And yes....sometimes I am. :)) the last time I looked in a mirror, andliked what I saw I was 12 years old. But I realize that is MY problem. One has to really love and respect oneself.....scars included, if we expect other to do the same. It's an on going challenge. But you've gotten yourself this far.....and with the right "self talk", you will develop the confidence to find the man meant for you. Best of luck.