Friends vs Associates in the Ostomate Community

Definition: Friendship is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an association.

While an associate can be described as a person whom one knows slightly.

We as ostomates tend to say once we join, we're seeking friendship and others who can relate to our condition.

I heard members say outsiders are cruel. I'm referring to non-ostomates when I say outsiders.

"News flash," the same people out there are here too. The only difference is, they are now ostomates.

I have been to other countries, states, and cities and have encountered both good and bad people. Some I called friends while others were associates.

I joined this group in 2016. I stumbled upon this site. No one told me about MeetAnOstomate (MAO).

I had my colostomy in 2015. I have a close friend of 36 years with whom I shared my feelings before and after surgery.

I didn't feel comfortable talking about my colostomy with my family at that time. I was actually ashamed and didn't accept my fate.

I had mentioned before that I attended a local support group but didn't get anything out of it.

The things that members discuss here in our group (MAO) are not discussed locally in other support groups.

In conclusion, I wish you all the best. I hope that those that seek friendship find it. If you're lucky, you'll find good friends and or associates. I did!

Respectfully,

Angelicamarie

Always a pleasure to read your messages, Angelicmarie. You're so right about the definition of friendship as opposed to associates. Like you, I didn't get much out of our local meetings either. It's much more informative on here, as we all share our battles and hopefully triumphs. We are a bunch of tough cookies, aren't we!

Dan

Lt. Dan, thanks. I'm sincerely appreciative of your support.

Angel

Angel,

I have found many friends on this site! I think those non-ostomates who have become one of us have probably adjusted their attitude! You don't know until you get there what it is like! Who would have ever thought, right? I've never tried the local support group, but maybe we are the ones to change things! Go to the support group and open the conversation that does not get talked about there! Talk about the important things! Really help others! My doctor told me I should teach the class! You never know! I just might! How many of those who lecture at a support group actually have an ostomy? Few, if any!

Love the post!

Puppy

Puppyluv56...Glad you liked it! Yes that’s something to think about, for sure. Thanks....

Angel

My Ostomy Journey: April | Hollister

Hi Angel,

I've made some very good friends on this site too, and count you as one of them. It's difficult for a lot of us, I think, to talk about the issues we have all gone through or are going through. It's really nice to have a site like this where you know everybody on it understands.

WeirdNewLife... I also care for you....

Hi, I read what you post. Yes, I agree, Angel, the definition isn't what some think; it's different for everyone, their story, etc. It's great to have others who care and can relate. It's tough to feel comfortable with someone who doesn't have an ostomy; sometimes they look at us like we're weird, freaks, or just different, but we're all the same and do the same. Just some are nicer, sweeter, care more, have big hearts ♥️, understanding, and just saying we're not different but treated differently! Actually, we're usually nicer because we're going through a lot, and I'm here to say I'm different but try not to be. Some also act or don't want anyone to hear ❤️ the real truth about how they feel. I know we all want to be positive and say, "I feel great, doing good, feeling like a younger woman, man," but the reality is we have our days! No one feels great every day.

NewLifeVictoria... Hang in there!