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To date a bag or not to date a bag

Posted by Happydays2018, on Sat Apr 20, 2019 1:07 pm

hey guys, 

 

i do hope you are all well.. I’ve had my bag for a year and a half and I must say it hasn’t impacted my sexual life too much but what it has done is prevented that personall connection needed.. sorry if if I’m not being clear, let me try and explain.. ok, so I’m with my man and we have enjoyed a sexual experience but when he wants to lay and relax I have to jump up and ‘ empty my bag.’ Or if we’re getting ‘frisky ‘ I seems to ruin it by having to go and ‘empty ‘ my bag.. do you think it would be easier to been in a sexual relationship with another ‘baggy’?!? .. and another issue I have is sleeping over as I need to burp my bag and yes it smell toooo gorgeous to mention... NOT.. y’all know what I mean by that smell from burping your bag.. I think I might just stay single .. I feel a wee bit sad actually about it all.. FFS 

Reply by mcdonna, on Sat Apr 20, 2019 5:26 pm

hi i understand everything you are saying but unfortunately I dont have any answers ....its a fuckin load of ......i am actually single so you need to remind yourself that your partner loves you

 

Reply by Puppyluv56, on Sat Apr 20, 2019 8:29 pm

Any thoughts about irrigation? If you have a Colostomy, it may be an option for you. Never have to get up to empty a bag again! 

Puppy

Reply by Happydays2018, on Sat Apr 20, 2019 9:41 pm

My partner cheated on me... 

mcdonna wrote:

hi i understand everything you are saying but unfortunately I dont have any answers ....its a fuckin load of ......i am actually single so you need to remind yourself that your partner loves you

 



Reply by Mike6952, on Sun Apr 21, 2019 5:01 am

Maybe just try and not put to much thought about the bag, I fold mine in half  have the fun and still able to lay for the after cuddle, but get I guess some Stoma’s are not active than others mine seems to sleep twice a day so that a bonus lol

Reply by Mike6952, on Sun Apr 21, 2019 5:03 am

Not as active as others I meant to say

Reply by Happydays2018, on Sun Apr 21, 2019 5:04 am

Hello and Happy Easter.. thank you for responding.. yes that is one possibility.. but unfortunately we are no longer together as he cheated so I’ll bear that in mind next time round!! Thank you anyway.. 

Mike6952 wrote:

Maybe just try and not put to much thought about the bag, I fold mine in half  have the fun and still able to lay for the after cuddle, but get I guess some Stoma’s are not active than others mine seems to sleep twice a day so that a bonus lol



Reply by Happydays2018, on Sun Apr 21, 2019 5:06 am

Thankyou for taking the time to respond.. I have an ileostomy.. happy Easter 

Puppyluv56 wrote:

Any thoughts about irrigation? If you have a Colostomy, it may be an option for you. Never have to get up to empty a bag again! 

Puppy



Reply by Mike6952, on Sun Apr 21, 2019 5:10 am

Well that happens with a bag or no bag so just go enjoy yourself and have fun xx

Reply by panther, on Sun Apr 21, 2019 11:11 am

18 months is still early days you just need time to get your confidence back.

I've known a few women who have wind problems in bed that didn't have a bag lol.

Just get out there live your life have fun with family & freinds and the right man will just walk into your life one of the days.

Speaking for myself I wouldn't look intentionally just for a partner with a bag just meet who you meet Love finds you.

 

Never let a stoma rule your life 1 life live it and most of all keep Smilling it looks good on you! 

Reply by Happydays2018, on Sun Apr 21, 2019 12:12 pm

Happy Easter to you.. and thank you for your supporting words. You are correct in saying 18 is still early days which I never really thought of it like that... I think because I felt so poorly before my ileostomy I think now I’m all back to normal skipping along the road swinging my bag.. oh I mean basket!! 

I do need to go out my self esteem is low and after being cheated on in the most horrendous way has made me even more... I keep having a reoccurring dream of forgetting to feed my pets and I’m frantic that they are starving and will be dead by the time get to reach them to feed them, and I can never get the pet food nor get to them... it’s awful.. reading up on the meaning says that I am neglecting myself ...says it all really,I had put so much emotional energy into this man whilst forgetting about myself.. I’m sorry to let it all out on you but yes focus on healing mentally and physically...and have fun!, I do hope you are well and enjoying the sun ...god bless

 

 

whilst forgetting about myself Ihad put so much of my emotional energy into this man and forgetting myself..

panther wrote:

18 months is still early days you just need time to get your confidence back.

I've known a few women who have wind problems in bed that didn't have a bag lol.

Just get out there live your life have fun with family & freinds and the right man will just walk into your life one of the days.

Speaking for myself I wouldn't look intentionally just for a partner with a bag just meet who you meet Love finds you.

 

Never let a stoma rule your life 1 life live it and most of all keep Smilling it looks good on you! 



Reply by Head, on Wed Apr 24, 2019 12:28 pm

You are a beautiful Lady.  I’ve learned to love the new me.  The Partner may come around or maybe not.  Learn to love yourself.  Take care.

Reply by Sdp85, on Wed Apr 24, 2019 2:14 pm

Don't give up. My fella has been with me as long as my bag. He makes me feel more comfortable dealing with Rosie (my stoma) than if I were alone. We joke at the smell, laughing that I am smellier than him. In "frisky" times, I try to run to the bathroom to empty first. But I'm honest with him about it. But we have given Rosie a personality and treat her as part of the family. She has broke in bed and he helps me clean up while trying to make me laugh. I am very blessed to have an understanding fella but they are out there. Everybody poops, we are just lucky enough to do it out our stomachs. We do all we can to look at the positive and make the situation fun. I wish you the best!

Reply by Happydays2018, on Wed Apr 24, 2019 2:26 pm

Heyy thank you for you kind words.. you are very blessed and I’m so happy for you.. the thing is you have been with your partner for a long time and I bet you were with him for a while before you had it.. regardless of that ‘he’s still there’ so yes you are right in saying there are decent and understanding men out there.. just so tired of it all.. any who.. I hope you’ve had a good day, take care

Sdp85 wrote:

Don't give up. My fella has been with me as long as my bag. He makes me feel more comfortable dealing with Rosie (my stoma) than if I were alone. We joke at the smell, laughing that I am smellier than him. In "frisky" times, I try to run to the bathroom to empty first. But I'm honest with him about it. But we have given Rosie a personality and treat her as part of the family. She has broke in bed and he helps me clean up while trying to make me laugh. I am very blessed to have an understanding fella but they are out there. Everybody poops, we are just lucky enough to do it out our stomachs. We do all we can to look at the positive and make the situation fun. I wish you the best!



Reply by vanessa1970, on Wed Apr 24, 2019 3:45 pm

Wow. I find your language to be offensive. I don’t see myself as a “baggy”. I’m a human being. I choose to carry my self with a grace and style of my own choosing, regardless of the circumstances in which I find myself. Nonetheless, I wish you well on your search for meaning and connection in your life.

Reply by NewlifeVictoria, on Wed Apr 24, 2019 11:44 pm

Hello there and I feel the same way about it and Praying, I think it’s going to take a wonderful man who love me and can except I have something that I had to have and it will be difficult to tell someone and it’s been crazy go on a site and tell them they stop texting me! So idk only god knows 😥❤️😇NewlifeVictoria 

Reply by Happydays2018, on Thu Apr 25, 2019 2:12 pm

WOW... I apologise if I caused you any offence .. God bless 

vanessa1970 wrote:

Wow. I find your language to be offensive. I don’t see myself as a “baggy”. I’m a human being. I choose to carry my self with a grace and style of my own choosing, regardless of the circumstances in which I find myself. Nonetheless, I wish you well on your search for meaning and connection in your life.



Reply by Happydays2018, on Thu Apr 25, 2019 2:22 pm

Heyyy Victoria, I hope your well.. it will take a decent loving man to accept what we have.. but when we do find that man they will be WONDERFUL and worth waiting for.. when I did online dating I mention it when I feel the times right regardless of how soon I’ve met them, if they stop texting then they’re not right for us.. it’s hard though, it really is..but look what we’ve gone through to get where we are, we are so strong!! And definitely determined!!!! .. I have low days then I have amazing days.. we’re  in it together..  :)  p.s no one is perfect.. apart from the Lord Jesus ..Lol..!!! ;) xx

NewlifeVictoria wrote:

Hello there and I feel the same way about it and Praying, I think it’s going to take a wonderful man who love me and can except I have something that I had to have and it will be difficult to tell someone and it’s been crazy go on a site and tell them they stop texting me! So idk only god knows 😥❤️😇NewlifeVictoria 



Reply by NewlifeVictoria, on Thu Apr 25, 2019 10:28 pm

Hi Thank you for the email and your right I do the same and they go away but I don’t want to give up, on life or love ❤️ Praying 🙏 always to feel good and bring me a good man!! If you want any to talk or text let me know take care thank you Victoria 

Reply by Puppyluv56, on Sat Apr 27, 2019 10:22 am

Hey Victoria,

Hope you are doing well! You certainly sound like a very strong woman as most of us Ostomate are, don’t search too hard! Good things come to those that wait and if that right person is on the way, he will make it to you eventually! Just don’t Let the “couple “ thing define you any more than your Ostomy does! Relationships of any kind are valuable! People come into your life at the darnedest times! Just be ready! Lol

Keep the faith girl!

Puppy 

Reply by Mike6952, on Sat Apr 27, 2019 10:28 am

So very true Puppy

 

Mike

Reply by kpaulrichards, on Sat Apr 27, 2019 4:10 pm

My best suggestion is that you refrain from eating, if possible, for at least 6 hours before expecting to engage in sex.  Once the bowel is inactive the pouch will remain almost completely empty; additionally I suggest you purchase a supply of "stoma caps" which are very small (about 3 - 4" in diameter) and fit right over your stoma.  Convatec and coloplast make them and they attach right to your wafer -- just remove your full size pouch and attach the small cap when you're ready for sex.  It's like wearing nothing!  Keep a few extra caps nearby as the first cap might fill up sooner than later if you've eaten more recently.

Reply by NewlifeVictoria, on Sat Apr 27, 2019 8:23 pm

Thanks pups your right,., have a cramping , 😞 hurting kind of 😢day after coffee and yogurt and turkey soup mixed up in a bullet, its like baby food””what can be going on? Any one think it’s the dairy or coffee? Please ,thank you , a head of time🙏 any chance be that,!! replies Are welcome 🙏😃😍😇🙏I have to say it’s uncomfortable 😣 it’s seems like, can be scar tissue that people say that.... also my joints all over hurt , I’m praying and can’t wait to figure stuff out?!!! Praying so hard no more,?of this feeling better to figure out how to eat and seems every thing bothers me ,,, just some time worse the

other times if I eat anything dairy but the trusting and 

Reply by NewlifeVictoria, on Sat Apr 27, 2019 8:27 pm

Sorry I didn’t finish writing idk what I did, sorry.. trusting and hoping to feel better,, I have appointments for doctors but I like when we/us know more than them!! So if you can reply I would appreciate it so much my favorite people are here... so love ❤️you all....Thank you.... Good bless everyone!! Victoria 

Reply by NewlifeVictoria, on Sat Apr 27, 2019 8:30 pm

Hi Thank you idk not that I’m having sex right lol but good to know that hun.. how to get them? Do you ever get cramping or hurt in stomach? I need to here different stories and not feel I’m the only one !! Thank you Victoria 

Reply by Puppyluv56, on Sun Apr 28, 2019 8:02 pm

Hey Victoria, 

i have never had cramps or bloating or any stomach pain since getting my Ostomy! I think I am just really lucky! Thank God because having so many other things happening to keep my body jumping, don’t need one more to work out! Hope you can figure it out. I would just use the power of elimination. Cut everything out that you have been eating, start back with each thing until you find  what is causing your pain. Lactose can do that to you. Maybe try just Almond milk or Lactaid. I drink that not because of a problem but the 2% tastes like whole milk and it stays fresh for weeks so I am not throwing milk out! 

Hope you find the culprit! 

PUPPY

 

Reply by NewlifeVictoria, on Sun Apr 28, 2019 10:24 pm

Hi Hun.,,Thank you so much puppy, your very sweet to reply, I hope and pray 🙏🙏🙏🙏I know ,I wish . I pray they would go away. Dairy is not good I get cramps really bad and I’m miserable how does this happen ?? It’s yogurt!!! Any one know what I can do,,, I don’t ensure with blending everything up! Thank you 😊 🙏 😇Have to say any help searching , figuring this all out , im Not  sure what the heck😢 !!!  Victoria 

Reply by NewlifeVictoria, on Sun Apr 28, 2019 10:26 pm

Hi Hun.,,Thank you so much puppy, your very sweet to reply, I hope and pray 🙏🙏🙏🙏I know ,I wish . I pray they would go away. Dairy is not good I get cramps really bad and I’m miserable how does this happen ?? It’s yogurt!!! Any one know what I can do,,, I don’t ensure with blending everything up! Thank you 😊 🙏 😇Have to say any help searching , figuring this all out , im Not  sure what the heck😢 !!!  Victoria 

Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Wed May 15, 2019 2:36 pm

I thought I'd share my recent date experience to bring some positiveness out and maybe help people out who need some hope.

I met up with a woman a week ago and we got along rather well and I've never have had follow up dates come after each other so quickly. When she came around to my place on date 3 within a week's time things got fiesty. She took off my shirt and I quickly said 'Oh, I have this' to which she replied with a soft 'oh', shrugged and just carried on. Later in bed I asked what she thought of my bag to which she said 'everyone has something, I don't have nice feet'. 

I've never felt so anti climactic in my life. All this time I've made it a big deal for myself and now I even feel cheated out of a big surprise. I'm actually sort of annoyed that she didn't stop in her tracks and bombarded me with questions first. How silly is that?

I don't know if I found 'true love' or whatever but I sure got a hell of a lot of confidence out of this. Which I'm very thankful for even if things won't work out in the end. I'll know it's not because of the bag.

So just be the best -you- you can be and show you're into the other person, show honest affection and people will see you as more than just a 'baggy'.

Reply by Puppyluv56, on Thu May 16, 2019 2:15 pm

Nice! 

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