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41,456 members
Oct 26, 2014

DEFINING FRIENDS

This topic is about navigating friendships after undergoing an ostomy, a significant life change that can affect personal relationships. It reflects on the emotional journey of understanding who your true friends are and finding support in new places. Here are some insights and advice shared on this topic:

- Trust is something that needs to be earned. Friends from the past might be reliable in some situations but not in others. It's helpful to think of people as acquaintances until they prove themselves as true friends.

- Managing your emotions is important. Aim for a steady sense of contentment rather than chasing temporary happiness. Techniques like distraction and logical thinking can help prevent feelings of sadness or depression, especially when dealing with lost friendships or physical limitations.

- Pets can often provide the consistent affection and support that people sometimes fail to offer.

- If family members or old friends react negatively to your ostomy, it might be best to accept that they may never fully understand. Instead, focus on those who do understand and support you.

- Letting go of unsupportive relationships can open up space for new, healthier friendships, particularly within ostomy communities or local support groups.

- Your personal attitude can influence how others treat you. Confidence and self-acceptance can lessen the impact of hurtful comments.

- Use coping strategies to manage your emotions:
1. Engage in activities that lift your spirits, like listening to music, cooking, enjoying holiday traditions, or watching TV marathons.
2. Practice distraction techniques to shift your focus away from sadness.
3. Strive for a balanced sense of contentment rather than material-based happiness.

- Memories of past abilities, such as being able to run long distances, can bring about feelings of grief. It's important to acknowledge these losses, find new activities to enjoy, and consider professional therapy if feelings of low mood persist.

- The pressures of modern consumer culture can lead to stress and poor health. Cultivating gratitude for what you have and practicing emotional regulation can help counteract these pressures.

- Children and younger relatives might not heed advice until they face their own health challenges. Demonstrating calm contentment can be a more effective way to influence them than verbal warnings.
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