Navigating intimacy with an ostomy can be a unique journey. While having an ostomy doesn't physically limit sexual activity, it can affect how you feel about yourself and your spontaneity. Here are some helpful tips and insights to make this experience more comfortable and enjoyable:

1. Self-confidence and communication
- Start by accepting your own body, as partners often take cues from you.
- Have open conversations about any fears, noise, odor, and positioning. If needed, counseling can be beneficial if a partner seems distant after surgery.
- Choose partners who are understanding and supportive. Share your ostomy when you feel safe in the relationship; some prefer to disclose early, while others wait until intimacy.

2. Empty or swap the pouch before intimacy
- Many people with a colostomy or ileostomy find it helpful to empty their pouch right before being intimate.
- Consider switching to a small closed pouch or stoma cap for these moments. Most manufacturers offer free samples.

3. Garments and supports to hold the pouch flat
- Use a bandeau or tube top to keep the pouch close to your body. These are available online or in stores.
- A Stealth Belt can be worn all day to keep the pouch secure and allow you to go shirt-free.
- Wrap a tensor or Ace bandage around your waist, adding a Velcro strip for easy fastening.
- Cut the waistband off old underwear to hold the pouch in place, or use a standard ostomy belt for added control.

4. Positioning and taping tricks
- Fold the bag in half and tape it to your skin for short periods.
- If the tail-clip is uncomfortable for your partner, fold it against the pouch, place tissue under it, and tape it to the underside. Tape the sides of the pouch to your abdomen to prevent flopping.
- Use medical tape to shorten a long pouch or attach the tail to your thigh to prevent dangling.

5. Covers, comfort, and odor control
- Use ready-made or homemade pouch covers made of silk or stretch fabric to soften the feel, reduce noise, and hide the plastic.
- Spraying light linen or jasmine scent on the outside of the pouch and inside a fabric cover can help mask any residual odor.
- Modern cloth-covered tan pouches are quieter than older plastic-only styles.

6. Relationship and dating notes
- Partners often value curiosity, kindness, and humor more than the presence of a pouch.
- Some people have successfully rebuilt active dating lives after being widowed or divorced, with dance classes and social hobbies being great places to meet new people.
- If a longtime partner loses desire, it could be due to concerns about the ostomy, caregiver fatigue, or menopause. Open discussions or counseling can be helpful.

These insights aim to help you feel more at ease and confident in your intimate relationships while living with an ostomy.