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Mar 17, 2023

Meeting Women with Ostomies - Tips for Getting Started

Getting back into the dating scene after having an ileostomy can feel daunting, especially if you're shy or have recently ended a long-term relationship. If you're ready to meet new people and perhaps find romance, here are some friendly tips to help you step out of your comfort zone and connect with others, whether they have an ostomy or not.

1. Start Online
- Explore profiles and send messages without fear; clicking "send" is a risk-free way to start.
- Shyness can be charming, and online chatting allows you to get comfortable before meeting in person.
- Consider paying the site’s membership fee to message freely, and reach out for help if needed.

2. Be Prepared for Distance
- Ostomates are spread out, so distance might be a challenge. Some sites offer maps to find nearby members.
- While you don’t need extravagant travel options, be realistic about the costs and challenges of long-distance relationships.

3. Broaden Your Horizons
- Don’t restrict yourself to dating only ostomates. Many have found love with partners who don’t have an ostomy.
- Share your ostomy when you feel ready, especially as intimacy approaches, but it’s okay to wait.

4. Prioritize Friendship
- Start conversations with the goal of making a friend, which can naturally lead to romance.
- Transform nervousness into excitement by viewing it as anticipation.

5. Cultivate Attractive Qualities
- Traits like humor, authenticity, and being a good listener are often appreciated.
- Show resilience and kindness, demonstrating that you’ve overcome challenges.

6. Explore Various Avenues
- Use both mainstream and ostomy-specific dating sites; chemistry is more important than shared experiences.
- Don’t overlook in-person opportunities like clubs, events, or volunteering.

7. Handle Rejection and Be Patient
- Rejection is part of dating, whether it’s due to timing or lack of chemistry. Keep trying, as effort increases your chances of success.

8. Utilize Community Resources
- Local ostomy associations or young-adult groups can provide social events and support, with some members having met their partners there.
- For inspiration, check out motivational content like YouTube videos.

9. Acknowledge Additional Realities
- Be open about any health-related issues, such as erectile dysfunction or vaginal dryness, and approach these topics with honesty and empathy.
- Address personal issues beyond the physical aspects of having an ostomy, as emotional baggage can also impact relationships.

These tips aim to make your journey back into dating a little smoother and more enjoyable. Remember, it's all about taking small steps and being open to new experiences.
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